These days, we are all trying to find a well-rounded group of pals that we can share our time, secrets and money with. This is easier said than done, seeing that not every person you will encounter in your life will have your best interest at heart, which is heartbreaking to say the least.
There is no step-by-step process to find your true genuine friends, so ultimately, it is up to you to find your tribe, or the people that you find click with you. Your tribe should consist of those you can easily trust, as well as those who are willing to push you and be honest with you.
Who you are attracted to and the qualities you are internally searching for within other people is subjective and unique to everyone. Similarly, you will not enjoy every one you will encounter, however, this process of encountering a variety of people will help you identify the qualities and kinds of people you are attracted to. Of course, other elements, such as the environment you grew up in, the people you were around when you grew up, and your experiences will shape your distinctive selection process.
It is not easy to find your squad, to say the least. Sometimes, even the people you think are apart of your squad, may end up not being the people you initially anticipated, making this a heart-breaking and painful process sometimes.
There is no secret to finding your squad, but keeping it real and staying true to who you are and what you believe in are definitely good strategies when you are trying to find your true group of friends. Do not try to change the person or morals that you believe in just to force a friendship, I assure you that this will not lead to a long-lasting, genuine friendship.
A healthy, long-lasting friendship means allowing your friends space to grow and experience, being attentive, being honest, being kind, admitting when you are wrong, and challenging them when you know that they can do better. Also, a healthy relationship consists of stability and consistency, and in order to keep anything, including your car running, you need to upkeep it and make sure you are taking time and care to make sure it does not die out on you. Nothing in your life will ever be perfect, including your friendships, but without any bumps on the road, how do you expect your friendship to grow, mature, and continue blossoming into a stronger bond. With that said, a “forever friend” is willing to stick through even those hard times, when nothing seems to be going your way and you just feel stuck. Despite your bad attitudes, snippy behavior, and sometimes reckless behavior, the members of your squad are willing to set that aside just to spend time with you, take care of you, and continue making memories.
Your tribe does not need to consist of the largest amount of people possible, in fact, a smaller, and tight-knit group is just as desirable. At the end of the day, the number of people you keep in your circle will not matter if you are truly content. The feeling of having a solid support system to be able to lean in trumps all feelings of wanting to have the largest social circle you can possibly acquire. This does not mean that your tribe can not or will not grow, as you continue growing, learning and living. It just means that the void of craving unnecessary attention and acceptance from others will be nonexistence, as you begin to realize that your happiness is simply not based on that.
Always remember that you, yourself are your best friend, and as a result, the company that you keep reflects the kind of person you are. Naturally, I would recommend keeping GREAT company. Ask yourself if you are truly happy with who you are, and who you are surrounding yourself with. Sometimes, as we go through the motions of life, we grow apart or slowly begin to become dissimilar to those who we have kept closely, and that is okay. It just means that you are living and growing, and when we are living and we are growing, we are allowed to grow, change, adapt, and adjust according to what we are currently dealing with and growing from. As a result, as we are growing through the processes of life, it is only natural that not every single individual we spend time with is going to be willing to stick around. Sometimes, this is just because of distance, difficult times, lack of communication or understanding, toxicity, or other simple things. This is something that you should not take personally, as most of the people we encounter will not be permanent placeholds in your life.
The important thing is to take a look around you, and appreciate those who have been supportive and endlessly loving towards you, even those who may not be your “forever” friends. As you continue living, growing, learning, and breathing, you will find your best b****es, and you will love every second of it. Try to exude your true self, engage in activities you enjoy, and value the company that you keep. As you begin your journey to exuding your genuine self and qualities, you will naturally begin attracting, or keeping, those who may share the attractive qualities that you seek in others. Do remember that not everyone in your squad has to be the same, in fact, the differences among each of your closest pals is something that you should cherish. A great squad learns from one another and helps one another grow, learn, and succeed.
If you’re a bird, they’re also birds, if you get what I am saying. Squad, squad, squad.