While sweatpants, hair up, chillin’ with no makeup on may not to be my most attractive look, I have learned over the course of my lifetime that you simply cannot dress and look your best every day. Whether you cried the night before, are exhausted, or are stressed, sometimes life gets to us, and therefore, does not allow us the desire and/or time to look our best, as we would rather be comfortable and work with what we got.
Our society places an emphasis on upkeeping your outward appearances, in order to capitalize on a societal norm that the more attractive you are, the more successful, approachable, accepted and happy you will be. These are myths, but our society is quite brutal when it comes to judging others based on what they look like on the outside.
As human beings, we may not even consciously realize that we judge strangers and others around us based on their outward appearance, but we all do it all the time. This does not leave much wiggle room for those who just enjoy dressing comfortably, even in public.
The belief that one must “change,” or “get ready,” to go out into public is overused and overemphasized. While dressing nicely, or how you feel, should be an activity that you enjoy and are doing for yourself, we all once again unconsciously find ourselves in the routine of fixing ourselves up prior to going out into public.
Disregarding the entire act of upkeeping your hygiene, or maintaining some sort of beauty routine, is not something I would recommend, however, when the upkeep becomes more than just a small routine, realize that, as a human being, you should feel comfortable every day.
Above anything else, you want to be happy and comfortable in your own skin, as well as the way you choose to present yourself on any given day.
Even the biggest celebrities you know have their off-days and more than you know. Not to mention, they have the assistance of a team of elite beauty assistances, trainers and a stylist to assist them in overcoming some of the insecurities and burdens that as “normal folk” seem to encounter, YET THEY STILL HAVE OFF DAYS, or days where they may not be dressed in the most fashion-forward outfits, or have a full face of makeup.
It is hard to face scrutiny for your personal appearance, even when you are dressed in what seems like our best outfit to date and are wearing a full face of makeup. If anything, it hurts worse to face scrutiny when you are dressed in what seems like a “best dressed” type outfit, and when you have a full face of makeup. At least when you haven’t exerted any energy towards your outward presentation, you are aware of the obvious fact that you do not care to essentially “try” to primp yourself, and therefore, you are less susceptible to feeling hurt from any backlash you may receive for simply choosing to place your energy and time towards other things.
Primping yourself can be a fun, feel-good activity, as you should put on makeup if you want to, or even cake it on IF YOU TRULY WANT TO. In addition, if you want to whip out a risqué, or trendy, or a feel good or fashion-forward outfit, then you should do so. I am in no way trying to downplay the notion that one should always at least attempt to do things that will help them feel good on the inside and outside when they are out in public, or if they are feeling down.
“Trying,” as the millennials call it, is not a bad thing all the time. If you may not be feeling your best, attempting to primp yourself out and “actually get ready,” or make yourself look good (to your own standards), can help uplift your spirits, worries, or stressors. If you cannot beat them, dress better than them.
When you begin placing too much energy towards the aspect of appearing to look your best, or present yourself in a pleasing manner, becomes a central priority in your life, above your career, friends, family, health, etc., it can truly become detrimental. Usually when your outward appearance becomes such a big concern, looking and feeling your best has probably become more focused on the way that others perceive you, rather than how you perceive yourself. Getting caught up in this kind of comparison, and placing this much energy towards your outward appearance in order to please others, should never be your priority, as you will find yourself in more problems than you can conceptualize. You should take care of yourself for yourself, and you should also look your best, inside and outside, for yourself.
Beyond this, it is incredibly important to address the notion that beauty is not defined by the way that you outwardly appear, dress, or beautify yourself when one is out in public. Even in sweatpants and no makeup, you are beautiful!
If your mind is blown, then you need to reread that last statement and realize you are just as beautiful when you are in sweatpants and have no makeup on. Though you may not feel like it, beauty, while it is somewhat measured by your outward appearance, is and should never be strictly defined by one’s outside.
Do not be so hard on yourself for appearing how you normally do when you are just chilling or hanging out at home, in the privacy and in the comfort of your home. While some circumstances, such as work, job interviews, formal occasions, may require one to adjust their outward appearances accordingly and may have a more formal dress code, do not let your days be filled with the anxiety and fear of not looking your absolute best.
At this point, we all want to accentuate features of ourselves that we enjoy and look nice for ourselves, and others to a certain extent, however, you cannot hide your TRUE self from others forever. At some point, your family will see you looking “not so shabby,” and likewise, so will strangers, friends, acquaintances, ex-lovers, boyfriends or girlfriends, professors etc. This is something that you will need to get used to in order to begin embracing yourself.
Speaking for myself, I have nailed the “no makeup” part, as I was never formally taught to do makeup and genuinely do not wear makeup daily, or ever. For some reason, makeup was never introduced to me, so as a result, even as a 22-year-old, it was never included in my primping routine. I focus more on the fashion, the hygiene, the health, and the hair side of looking my very best. Just like any other individual, I have taken my outward appearance too seriously unnecessarily and find myself beating myself up for not being my best, even if it meant outwardly.
Maintaining your very best is tiresome more often than not. However, not outwardly appearing your best out in public is a sort of initiation that every human being has to endure, in order to realize that beauty, especially in our own eyes and the eyes of others, can be found even within the most oversized sweatpants, within the most bare naked face, and within the slightest bit of fat on your body.
No one is born perfect – nope, not any aspect of a human is perfect. This applies to their outward appearance, as well.
When you find yourself over analyzing your looks and outward image, just realize that we are all human and that it is okay not to exert very much effort on your outward appearance when it is not necessary. Just like many things in life, you cannot win every battle, especially looking your very best. But, it never hurts to attempt to look your best during every battle, even if you lose. It truly may make you feel better.
Sometimes the pressure of life gets to you, and once again, that is quite alright This pressure may result in one neglecting their hygiene and personal appearance, in order to cope, to heal, etc. You can try to fight it as hard as you and fight the good fight, but do not end up fighting yourself over something as insignificant as your “outsides,” or outward appearance.
As the celebrities say, not every day can be a red carpet day.
Be human. Be comfortable. Be happy. Because, you are beautiful.
Your sweatpants, hoodies, leggings, oversized t-shirts, and baggy attire are beautiful.
Your natural beauty is unmatched.
Get comfortable with your “normal” self, or your essentially naked, or most raw, or most vulnerable self, by allowing yourself the freedom of “not trying very hard” when you are getting ready. Look at yourself in the mirror. Breathe.
You are still alive. You are still breathing. Most importantly, you are still beautiful.
You can never hide genuine beauty, as it always manages to find a way to seep out from nowhere.
At least if you are ugly on the outside, you can redeem yourself by being beautiful on the inside 🤙🏾 Just kidding!
All jokes aside, allow yourself to truly embrace the “chill” and “I am too lazy to care” life. Let your soul and your outsides radiate with all natural beauty. Begin loving a pale face, sweatpants, and a low-maintenance look. Try to embrace an all-natural and untouched look, because there is no reason anyone should ever feel like they should hide their most natural, their most comfortable, and their most naked self.
Do not forget every once in a while to go out of your way to celebrate and express yourself with your outward appearance. You deserve to treat yourself, even if it means spending a little more time in front of the mirror crafting your perfect look for your day.
Whether you decide to glam it up, or play it down, you are still beautiful to me 💝
Simply put, if you like it, or feel like it, wear it!