“Flake less. Don’t flake off.”
What I mean by this is that you should attempt to flake out on plans as little of times as possible. Following through with your plans, obligations, or any responsibilities for that matter is one of the best qualities that an individual can have – Not to mention, it sends clear signals that you care. Sometimes, it is understandable that we are unable to make obligations or plans, due to outside factors, but making this kind of behavior a negative thing can make it difficult to maintain stability in any aspect of your life. Being a flake sends clear messages that you do not care and that you’re not accountable, which has many repercussions.
Flaking out on plans, or not being consistent, is hurtful, annoying, and can add on unnecessary amounts of stress onto you.
I can say with conviction that I am a flake. Honestly, it is one of my worst qualities and truly hurts others around me. I can make excuses all I want until I die, but no amount of excuses in the world can make up for how frustrating it is for people to get ahold of me, let along try to hang out with me.
In order to avoid being “that flake,” it is important to understand your schedule, your stress levels, and your energy levels, as well as your tolerance to handle hanging out with another person. Similarly, it is important to make sure you take into account your mood, so you do not end up flaking on plans, due to mood swings.
Don’t make plans unnecessarily – this tends to be my problem, as I would love to make time to spend time with all my loved ones as much as possible, all the time. Be realistic and try to make plans in advance, which are the plans that are harder to flake out on.
Be a responsible planner and allocate your time wisely. Also, be sure to take into account the people whose time you may be wasting when you flake out on plans. In addition, you may be hurting someone’s feelings when you do this, as cheesy as that does not sound. People who go out of their way to make plans with you, do this because they genuinely would like to spend time with you. Obviously, if this is not the case, perhaps flaking out on plans may be in your best interest. If someone is investing their time and their excitement to spend time with you, do not let it go to waste. If plans fall through, try to make it up to them.
If you are planning to flake, and you will know when you are not going to end up leaving your bed, be honest and try to notify as in advance as possible. Try to at least be a respectful flake!
For those who cannot help but be flakey, try to convey this message to others and let them know that you are working on getting better with following through with plans and that they should not wait up unless you confirm the plans. I try to let people around me know this, so at least it is on the table. Likewise, if you are just not truly feeling up to it, let them know honestly. There is no need to come up with some big, elaborate lie.
Striving not to be a flake applies to all aspects of your life, including your professional and academic lives.
Being a flake is selling yourself short. Do not be a short flake – it is not cool.