Life Hack #29 – “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it”

Alice from Alice In Wonderland infamously states, “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it.”
This may be one of the most relatable quotes from a Disney movie that I have ever heard.

The issue that Alice is addressing is the issue that our wisdom and our advice often is correct, however, as humans, we often avoid implementing and acting on our advice and wisdom. It is not fair to say that we often waste our advice on ourselves, as we often steer clear from ever listening to ourselves even though we would like to help ourselves.

We are often full of good advice and valuable wisdom that should be utilized to further better ourselves, further better our lives, further better our perspective, etc.

Implementing the piece of advice that you have set forth for yourself, or for others, is much easily said than done.

I do not know about you, but I would rather be giving advice, useless or useful, than actually going out and acting upon these realizations.

Acknowledging the advice that you have either received from yourself, or others, is the first step towards making changes, so one can eliminate the issue that required your unsollicited advice. However, if you just stop at acknowledging how much your life would get better, if only you would just follow through with acting on your advice, you may find yourself at a standstill.

Advice requires action, or requires one to make adjustments and changes, in order to fix or change the part of our life that required us to seek advice in the first place.

“Practice what you preach,” is a relavant phrase for those to acknowledge, especially those who are often found handing individuals, or themselves, advice, solicited or unsolicited.

From an outsider’s perspective, individual’s who are often caught handing out their advice seemingly appear like they have all the answers in the world, or possess some sort of access to this unlimited wisdom that allows them to live their seemingly perfect lives, with the utmost composure. It almost seems like they have all the answers in the world.
Yes, they may be flawed, but they are able to present themselves in such a way that makes them seem like they can handle any situation that life throws at them with grace, without the assistance of advice.

This perception of “wise individuals” is highly incorrect, as we all struggle with life, we all seek advice, and we all have so many unanswered questions. Life is an never ending lesson and we will never stop learning, growing, and gaining more insight into life.

As a blogger that often gives out advice, or shares life experiences, I am often faced with the perception that I always know what to do, how to handle myself, and that I know my way around life a little better than most. This is far from the truth, as I am constantly learning, growing, and seeking advice.
Furthermore, while I truly attempt to follow my own advice and be the best version of myself, I am a great example of someone who fails to actively take their own advice, especially in times of need.
Sometimes, it honestly feels better to throw yourself a pity party than to actually follow through, or even listen to, your own advice. Ignoring my own advice is something that I find myself struggling with at least 100 times a day, which is a lot of time spent ignoring rather than simply just listening. Out of the 100+ times a day that I ignore my advice, or the advice that others give me, I only listen to advice, help, etc. of any sort only 3% of the time, which is a small percentage of the time.

Why we chose to often ignore our advice truly depends on the situation, the person, the person’s willingness to change, self-doubt, the idea that ignorance is bliss, etc., The reasons are extensive and unique to each and every individual, so it is incredibly difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of our ignorance.
Sometimes, we even bask in the glory of engaging in our own pity parties, without making any attempts to make changes, even though you may be aware that something within your life needs to change.

I am full of good advice, old and new clichès, and life lessons from personal experiences, my peers, and the Internet. With all this access to advice and wisdom, it is truly a surprise how adamant we are on not listening to the advice and wisdom that is so clearly abundant within our own lives. Advice and wisdom can be found in even the most random of places, and you would be surprised how much wisdom and information you are able to soak up in just 24 hours. You are constantly gathering information and making observations about life, other’s lives, and your life, both consciously and subconsciously. We are much more wise and intuitive than we even know, or can even conceptualize.

Making judgement calls about how to handle the advice that you have been given, and possessing the ability to closely examining how the real life situation can be altered, or otherwise improved, with the assistance of some outside wisdom, requires an individual to know “right” from “wrong.” Our definitions of “right” and “wrong” are unique to each and everyone of us, however, there are a handful of things that are considered either “right” or “wrong” that are universally shared within communities, or religions, or cultures, or societies. Actions that are considered “right” are celebrated by society, and actions that are considered “wrong doing” result in punishment. These ideas of “right” and “wrong” are upheld by society, the government, etc., and these ideas are constantly being enforced and reaffirmed, whether we realize it or not.

When applying a judgement call to a situation, it is important to recognize what parts of a situation are working for you, or bringing forth benefits, and which aspects of the situation are only bringing negativity into our lives, or otherwise making our lives much harder than it should be.
Judgement calls are often done without even consciously realizing it, as the concept of “good” and “bad” are engrained in the way that we think and make decisions. Some situations may require more thought and consideration than other situations, but once you are able to properly assess the nature of a situation that may be troubling you, a quarter of the battle has already been won.

A lack of awareness of the way a situation may be affecting you, either positively or negatively, can be dangerous thing, as situations that are negatively affecting you may suddenly take a shape of its’ own, without you even realizing it. Even if life seems to unfolding right in front of your eyes, I have found that it always seems like everyone, but you, are able to thoroughly identify how a situation may be affecting you. Your peers, or an outside perspective, are able to actively witness and observe from a distance, however, often when you are right in the heart of a situation, it is incredibly difficult to truly grasp a thorough understanding of the severity that a situation is affecting you.

Often, we may blame our lack of motivation to make changes, or accept advice, whether it is solicited or unsolicited, on a lack of awareness. Most of the time, I have found that individuals often exhibit a lack of willingness to accept a situation for what it is, or pretending to prefer existing in a state of denial, is the most popular reason for individual’s ignoring advice and wisdom, even if it is coming from ourselves. As human beings, we are much more intuitive and sensitive than we even give ourselves credit for. A state of denial is incredibly dangerous, as individual’s become set on fighting their current reality. It is very easy to fall into a state of denial, as many situations that we are often in denial about are situations that are somewhat personal to us, or spark some sort of emotional reaction within us.

Most individuals are great listeners and truly attempt to implement the advice they have received into their current reality. In fact, most individuals have the best intentions, but get tripped up when it comes to the actual implementation of the advice. Every person will interpret advice differently, as advice can often be applied to more than situation. As a result, the way that an individual incorporates the advice they have been given in order to make changes in their life, differs from every individual. Similarly, an individual’s levels of enthusiasm to implement changes to their current reality, all while taking into account the advice they received, varies from person to person, as well as from situation to situation.

I believe that most individuals do not actively mean to ignore advice, but what we fail to realize is that, for an individual to fully recognize the advice that they receive, the advice must be relayed to an individual more than a handful of times.
Throughout your entire life, you could hear the same advice, or thoughts that others have about ways that you could grow, learn, and improve, but you could also go your entire life without even accepting, and therefore, implementing, the advice.
There are many reasons for this lack of ability to fully utilize a piece of advice, but the main reason is that often other aspects of an individual’s life are distracting them from processing the advice. Another reason behind a lack of implementation of advice includes that other facets of an individual’s life are more important to them, and as a result, this piece of advice that is repeated to them their entire life is never truly acknowledged, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO THAT PERSON.

Advice and wisdom from outside sources should always be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes, advice and wisdom comes from a place that does not look out for your best interest, or is based off of dishonesty. The source of the advice and the wisdom is a factor that one should take into consideration, all the time. The advice and the wisdom, if it comes from a dishonest place, may not serve any benefits for you, and may even end up hurting you.

Do not shut your ears and your eyes off to the advice and the wisdom that life constantly offers us, even when we do not want it, or are not seeking it. It may end up being more helpful and useful than you could ever imagine.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

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