Life Hack #33 – Patience & Persistence, My Friends!

Words that start with the letter “p” are generally quite silly, like poop, party, play, penis, and pajamas, but two words that start with the letter “p” that are far from silly, include patience and persistence.

Patience and persistence are two qualities that are not only important to learn, acknowledge, and practice in life, but are the keys to success, eternal happiness, and fufillment.

When I think of success, patience and persistence are the two words that follow the idea behind success.
In a utopian world, success would be something that was much more attainable and accessible to all, allowing people to achieve success without even having to endure hardship, hardwork or failure. Success could be attained in a blink of an eye, without having to master the qualities of patience and persistence.

It does not matter how long I have lived, or been around the block, patience and persistence are genuinely rare qualities to find in people, as many people do not initially possess the qualities of patience and persistence. I do not believe that these qualities are innate, but rather are learned, practiced, and acknowledged over a period of time.
Sometimes, I truly believe that individuals have no idea what being patient even means, let along persistent. Patience and persistence take years, sometimes even a lifetime, to truly master, or to truly engage in regularly.

In a society that prioritizes the ideal of success, I am here to tell you that success comes to those who truly are patient and persistence in their art. Change, or even desireable results, do not happen overnight. In fact, it takes weeks, months, and even years of persistence and patience to often produce the favorable, successful results that you yearn for so bad. Even then, you may never see the favorable results that you were always expecting and dreaming of.

While the answer to achieving success does not ONLY involve patience and persistence, these two qualities are some of the major factors that play into the level of success that you can achieve.
Patience is necessary, because as I mentioned above, growing success, or success, does not happen overnight. Sometimes, success can come to you all at once, allowing for an enormous amount of growth and successful results, however, a constant rate of growth and success is just not possible. At some point, the progress may seemingly come to a halt, as the amount of success that you just experienced is something of the past and the results that you work so hard for are just not cutting it. You may feel like you hit a plateau, as you find yourself stuck with the same, or similar, underwhelming results day-in-and-day-out.
Hardship, or times that seem unfavorable, are necessary for individuals to learn the quality of patience. You need to experience struggle, frustration, anger, or some emotions, about a situation, a business, a statistic, etc., in order to fully grasp the concept of being patient, or else you are not doing it right.
The idea of patience is that no matter how frustrating, difficult, or uncomfortable things may get, or may seem, that you are able to keep trying and keep working hard every day, understanding that you will not experience the benefits of your hardwork immediately, despite the fact that you may be frustrated, uncomfortable, and emotional about the way that things are turning out. Patience truly tests you, as the idea of patience encompasses maintaining consistent reactions to both good results and bad results.
Instead of immediately giving up on my blog when I did not see the results that I wished for, only after three weeks of creating it, I learned that with patience I could slowly begin working towards more favorable results, by continuing to post regularly, or iregularly, and simply giving it time.
As we all know, Rome was not built overnight.
Patience combats the idea behind satisfying your ego immediately, and instead forces individuals to work and to wait for the satisfication. In a society that thrives on immediate gratification of one’s ego, patience is often forgotten, not practiced, and not understood by the majority of the population. This is ironic, as life is all about learning to patient, with situations, with people, with life, with education, etc.
Patience can be applied to every aspect of your life, from health, to careers, to success, to learning, to education, to relationships, to friendships, to pain, to hardship, etc. It should be applied to as many aspects of your life as possible!

Perserverance is another very strong “p” word that resonates very highly with my soul. Perserverance is the act of keeping pushing on, despite any bumps, dips, or potholes in the road. Despite what life may throw you, deciding to keep trying is the definition of perserverance. I describe perserverance as “fighting the good fight.”
Perserverance is SO important to learn, practice, and acknowledge in your lifetime, as it can be applied to every aspect of your life.
Life is infamous for throwing people curveballs that come from left-field, and while we cannot always prepare for the worst and prepare for battle, learning to practice the act of perserverance is a very important lifeskill that you do not want to miss out on.
Perserverance, while similar to the idea behind patience, is different than patience, in the sense that perserverance encompasses the idea of “continuing to take stabs at something,” no matter what the circumstances may be. Patience more focuses on maintaining a sense of calm, without complaints, or loss of temper, despite how outside forces may be erupting or affecting your life, your mood, or patience.

While patience is more closely associated with maintaining a cool temper and overall demeanor, especially during times that seemingly make you want to completely want to give up, and perserverance is more closely associated with acting persistently, despite any hardships, difficulties, etc., patience and perserverance sometimes seem like they could be the same thing! I believe that these terms are so closely associated with each other that you can not be patient without persistent, and you can not be persistent without any patience. They truly go hand-in-hand, especially when expediting the journey to success! With patience and persistence, an individual can truly reach their potential, and then some, as these two traits are the fundamentals for achieving success, or even simply achieving a goal.

It sometimes may seem like throwing in the towel, or otherwise getting upset, irritated, and losing your temper, may be the answer, or the easier answer. But, easy does not get you very far in life and produces results that are less fufilling than results that one has perservered and been patient for.
The phrase, “Finally, all the hardwork paid off,” comes from a lifetime, or maybe less, of engaging in perserverance and patient behavior.

Practicing patience and practicing perserverance is not easy by any means, and for someone who has been told that I am patient and a fighter, I even know that I could be A LOT more patient and perservere through so much more than people give me credit for. Personally, patience and perserverance have been some of the most difficult qualities to emulate, because it requires a lifelong commitment and lifelong practice.

Even the most patient and persistent people find themselves engaging in inpatient and inpersistent behavior, during times of hardship, struggle, and discomfort.
While we are all not perfect and will fall victim of throwing in the towel, I encourage you to actively and genuinely make an effort to practice these two values! They will serve as beneficial in the long-run, and you will not regret it!

P A T I E N C E  &  P E R S E R V E R A N C E  A R E  M Y  V I R T U E S .
What are your virtues that you like to go out of your way to practice and embody?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #23 – Be A Chameleonaire

Over the last week, I have taken a complete, thorough leave off of social media, my phone, social life, and blogging. This was as a result of having to make some fairly substantial changes within my life that I have been struggling to transition and to adapt to the way I would like to. In addition, this transition seems to be taking longer than I had expected.

My life has been a little stressful and overwhelming, as I am experiencing a time of transition and change – one that is positive and beneficial for me, but been quite difficult. While I have been enjoying every minute of it, and sometimes struggling to adapt calmly, I needed to realize my priorities and separate myself from social media, the Internet, blogging, my friends, my phone, among other aspects in my life.

During times of change and transition, which are completely inevitable during life, learning to accommodate the alterations of your life may consume your life, stress, and thought processes, in which you completely forget and disregard other relevant, or irrelevant, stressors in your life. Your life completely becomes consumed by the change happening around you and your focus barely leaves the attention of the “newness” of your life.

The “newness” of your life can be completely exciting, but it requires one to make changes and adjustments to one’s daily routine, priorities, and time-management.

In order to make a successful, and somewhat smooth, transition to the changes that you are incur during your life, it is best not to overwhelm yourself with the frustrations of having to make these changes in your daily routine. Having synchronicity and a sense of familiarity and comfort truly provides a sense of a security blanket, allowing one to build a daily routine, know one’s limits, know how to manage your time, and reduces one’s stress levels.

The process of adapting to change truly depends on the person, the timing of the change, the predictability of the change, the level of extremity of the change, and one’s willingness to want to make the change. Do not expect the journey of adaptation to take 24-hours, as it takes much longer to adapt to changes within your life.

You may find yourself frustrated, as you may find that you have to make extreme accommodations to your life and daily routines, which I find the most frustrating. In addition, it takes much more time to truly be adapted and feel comfortable with the changes you make within your life.

As adapting to changes is a process, you will begin to realize that while the journey may become more comfortable with time, there are many layers to adjusting and transitioning to changes. While you may have found some ease in some aspects of the change, making a full transition in all aspects of the change within your life may take years.

If only it was much easier…

The fascinating thing about change and learning to transition and adapt to any new aspects of your life is that adapting to new situations, circumstances, etc. occurs daily and more than we know.

No day ever goes PERFECTLY. In fact, every day, every individual must overcome some sort of hurdle within their day, whether it may be seen as big or small. These speed bumps are within our daily, regular routines, require one to make transitions and adapt to the roadblock ahead of them, in order to conquer this “change.”

Changes make anyone and everyone feel extremely uncomfortable, whether they show it, or express it, or not. Some individuals are great at masking their unconformability, frustrations, etc. when being faced with change. Others express their struggle to embrace change differently, or perhaps more visibly.

Adapting to changes, or being forced to make changes in your life, no matter who you are, is difficult. Changes bring out our greatest insecurities that may unveil some behaviors that are risky or unhealthy, changes in our mood, raise feelings of self-doubt, and have us feeling extremely vulnerable, insecure, and unsure. It is important, especially during the first few days, weeks, months, or even years, to be kind to yourself, and understand that we all internalize and process the idea of change at our own pace.

While it is easy to preach that having the best attitude possible towards the situation of change is the best way to handle it, it is not easy and you will, even I find myself, having a bad attitude, displacing my negative feelings onto others, acting impulsively, and engaging in self-doubt. I definitely fake it, even fight it, until I make it, at whatever cost.

But, while I secretly deep down possess a love/hate relationship with change, I believe it is one of the most beneficial experiences that one must go through.

During this journey of adaptation, you are able to learn a substantial amount about yourself. All the insecurities that you try to hide, all the walls you try to keep up, all the ways that you negatively cope with these changes, and all the ways you try to appear from being vulnerable or weak all reveal themselves. You must learn to test yourself and find productive ways to overcome these struggles, anxieties, and emotions. As, the longer you fight making adjustments to your life as a result of the inevitable, or inevitable change, the more difficult things may become for you.

And, yes, you will, whether you would like to or not, find yourself asking for help. No one wants to seem weak, clueless, out of the loop, etc., however, the only way to get through these times is to understand that it is okay to ask others around you for help. If you do not feel like you need help, simply asking a friend, trusted source, or opening up to just anyone can help alleviate your stress. Dealing with change is something that everyone can relate to, as nothing ever stays the same.

Personally, when change involves having to get accustomed to meeting new people, working together with those who are strangers, etc., I find myself struggling to adapt to overcome my own insecurities and clam up. I tend to isolate myself, which at times, makes me seem and come off as a nasty, shy, or catty girl. For me, adjustment serves the hardest when I have to encounter a new group of people, as I have found that I am an acquired taste and somewhat hard to understand, or perhaps relate to, especially when one first encounters me.

I, for one, hate seeming vulnerable, hate not coming off as perfect or professional, and sometimes, find myself suppressing my more humorous, outgoing side. So, often, when I first meet a new group of people, or a new person, I am often quiet and find myself observing those strangers around me, rather than focusing on getting acquainted with these new individuals. I would normally find this exciting, however, recently adjusting to meeting new people has become difficult for me.

For the first week of work, awkward, silent, and moderately funny was the approach I was going to take, as I wanted these new co-workers to realize that I am a hard-working, all while being taken seriously. I also, due to my own insecurities, took on a negative attitude of “why having to take on the burden of having to get to know 30 people who I will probably never talk to or hear from in five years,” so I decided to be negative, have an attitude, isolate myself, and change my whole persona. I felt those around me either confused, annoyed, and even not wanting to exert energy in even having to deal with this attitude and behavior. This was not successful, as I highlighted in my resume that I am outgoing and I am a team-player. Honestly, being cold-shouldered and not caring, is truly not who I am.

So, as the second week of work approached, I tried yet again. This time, I was going to try to take a chance, despite what my inner, negative thoughts were yelling at me. “This is work, it sucks anyways. Why waste energy to get to know these people? Just get into work and then get out.” But, I love to make the best out of everything, even long hours at work. Yes, work is work, but why make it more painful than not?

In this moment, I realized, “WOW! I am over thinking things. Just take a deep breath, accept the change, be awkward, and do not force anything out of myself or anyone that I do not want to. JUST CHILL OUT.” Instead of hiding my personality, or trying to pretend to be hardcore, I tried simply being vulnerable, asking for help, and most importantly, putting myself out there. Also, I needed to spend time worrying less about other people, worrying more about learning the job, and worrying about myself doing my job correctly. With that said, the rest would fall into place. I cannot change who I am, constantly going back and forth with how I want to present myself at work, so I just succumb to being the derp that I am.

Now, over the weekend of the second week of work, my true colors (the ditzy side of me, the more outgoing side of me, the less serious side of me, the weird side of me, etc.) began to show. The “little Ms. Perfect” act only worked for about two weeks, maximum. Now, I must say, even I was a little shocked by how quickly letting go of these negative feelings, over thinking, and all the toxic thoughts in my head, lead to me finally beginning to realize how quickly these adaptations could have been made, if only I had stuck to worrying about the important, more relevant things about transitioning to a new job.

Yup, to be real, my “little Ms. Perfect” persona was quickly murdered when I literally took a spill in front of one of my co-workers that I did not know very well and presumably gave a cold-shoulder to. Everything was going great, as I pretended to be perfect, to maintain composure and suppress my personality.

Here we go…this is what I call true embarrassment and revealing your most vulnerable side.

I literally slipped on a slippery and wet floor, as it felt like the concrete I was standing on was ripped from underneath me. I slipped on my butt, bruised every inch of my body, and knocked over quite a few many things. This was the moment when I decided to reveal my biggest secret of all: I am NOT perfect, I am very ditzy, I from time-to-time suck at life, and this is me most days. I am a human.

To say that my co-worker had tried hard not to laugh at me, as it happened so randomly, is an understatement. I am sure my cold-hearted exterior and negative demeanor made her hesitant to even crack a smile, as she had seen me crack, WHICH I NEVER LIKE PEOPLE SEEING ME DO. She just could not help it – “Finally, we see her in her true flesh,” she probably thought to herself.

She laughed VERY HARD, but apologized after laughing histarically and even in between every breathe. I am assuming, because she finally was able to capture a glimpse of the somewhat ridiculous and far-from-perfect person that I am. Whether she felt bad or not about actually laughing, does not matter. It was funny – she truly did not even need to ask if it was socially acceptable to laugh. In fact, I encouraged it. All this time I spent acting like I did not want to meet new people, make new friends, bond with others, and not seem perfect, all dissipated within seconds. I finally showed my true colors – I am not really the serious person, or whatever person, that I was trying to present myself as.

This slippery fall was the most painful reminder I have received in a while, as I have bruises everywhere to show for it, to remain true to yourself, not be so bitter, to not pretend like I do not make mistakes, to not make your life so much harder for yourself, etc. Most importantly, it taught me that being vulnerable and having fun at work is possible – also, there’s no need to hurt yourself in trying to present yourself as the perfect worker ever and isolate yourself from others.

No matter how hard you fight trying to be relatable, or trying to fight enjoying life, the gig will be up quickly.

Yes, you will take spills when you are experiencing changes, but yes, people will be understanding and are not trying to make things harder for you. Ask for help, especially when things are new to you. Take time to get to know your new environment. Open yourself up to new experiences. Learn that it will not be easy, but that is what others are there for.

While my new job occupies a significant amount of time, I have found that letting go of the animosity of having to make changes to my life and adjust to them has made it much easier on myself to process and transition much more quickly. Being open about communicating your thoughts and insecurities that you may be experiencing, while you are enduring these transitional phases of changes, is in your best interest. Not having a cold attitude, standoff-ish attitude about these changes, and realizing that it is uncomfortable for everyone, including your co-workers to also endure these changes, as there is once again a new employee, is also important. Getting acquitted with your new environment to the best of your extent and with a positive, outgoing mind is what is best.

An opportunity for change often leads to new experiences that you would have never come across if you had not taken a chance to take a leap of faith for change. Do not be afraid of the challenges, or fears, that may come of making a change to your life.

Change is difficult, can suck sometimes, but KNOW IT IS HEALTHY AND BUILDS CHARACTER. Allow yourself to be vulnerable during these times and get to know yourself a little better. Change is inevitable, however, there are ways to alleviate the stressors and anxiety that come of it. Remember, learning to adapt and transition to new situations, new environments, or even to new co-workers or to peers, is a process. Do not be hard on yourself.

The more experience you have to adapt to changes, the more accepting you will become of change.

Open your heart to some new experiences. It is much encouraged. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of courage.

Let life shake you up a little bit, and as Taylor Swift belts, “shake it [the insecurities, emotional stressors, negative thought processes, and animosity, as a result of the change] off.”

As my mother constantly reminds my father, “You are a chameleon.” My father has the ability to adapt to changes in environment, social situations, professional changes, circumstantial situations, or many challenges very easily and quickly accordingly, taking into consideration the thorough circumstances of the “change,” without hesitation or without a negative attitude. This is something I admire. In fact, it almost seems unnatural how accepting and willing he is to embrace change and how quickly he is able to adapt to and make solutions to any changes he may encounter. It is a skill that I truly admire, as he does it with ease.

[Take some notes]


Here are some noteworthy features of chamelone’s that may serve useful in embracing a chamelonesque ability to adapt to change:

  1. Be vigilant of your surroundings & use your eyes, in order to successfully adapt and assess your next move
    “Each eye of the chameleon can move independently… They have a 360-degree wide view arc of vision and are capable of seeing two directions at the same instance…When they lock down their vision on any object (let’s say a prey), both eyes are brought to focus offering a sharp stereoscopic vision. This gives them the ability to precisely gauge the distance and plan on the next move.” (http://www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/)
  2. Learn to adapt to situational circumstances quickly (however, changing the color of your exterior is optional)
    “Typically, the top layers of the chromatophores have either a yellow or red pigment while the lower ones have white or blue pigments. These four colors combine to give the chameleon the color it desires. While it was believed for long that this camouflage feature helps the animal to avoid detection in a hostile environment or while stalking its prey. However, recent studies have proved that the color change is due to variation in mood, temperature, and light.” (http://www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/)

Learn to be a chamelone.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade


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Sources

  1. “10 Interesting Chameleon Facts.” Chameleons as Pets, www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/.


 

Life Hack #5 – The Power of Positive Thinking

Even on your hardest days, positive thinking and actions are always encouraged. It’s true life gets difficult, forcing us to dig even deep down within us to even find the positive in your life. Positive thinking may be difficult on even the best days, as it’s easy to complain and forget to count our own blessings. But, we are human.

Today, I encourage you to continue to dig deep and challenge yourself. I find that I am most positive when I am giving something new a try, or simply just challenging myself. Trying something new to me is something that truly challenges me.

Lately, however, life gave me a shock up my spine; things got difficult and I had to find lots of courage and strength to get through many of my days. Finding small, unique positive aspects of my days were really important to me and helped the days go by much quicker and happier.

I feel that when you are challenged and in difficult situations, you realize how much even the smallest things matter to you and it truly forces you to become a more positive version of yourself. Even the smallest things these days make me happy. The hard times allow you to truly become the grateful, positive version of yourself you want to be, as you recognize all the beautiful things that you took for granted the last few days.

I promise you though, that a positive way of life is much more meaningful and fun version of living. Why not find the light at the end of the tunnel and make it possible for your life to be better and more meaningful? A constant state of complaining, and an unwillingness to want to make things better is not a relevant way of living these days. Similarly, positivity challenges you, forcing you to think of good thoughts and radiate positive emotion, rather than letting your brain get flooded by negative thoughts.

Negativity is an inevitable part of life, but a willingness to make things better and better yourself is key. You can be extremely successful being negative – do not get me wrong, but do you want to live like that?

When life really challenges you, it really does rain and pour. But, instead of approaching it with more negativity try combating with positive energy. The way I see it the more you are positive, the more positive outcomes that will come of it.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade