We All Need A Vacation

Salutations!

I’M BAAAAACK.

It has been a while to say the least.

I invested some time in what some would call, a spiritual vacation of the mind, body, and soul. In other words, I truly invested some blood, sweat and tears towards creating a happier, truly more peaceful version of myself. While I am still in the works of finding that permanent serenity, this whole peaceful vacation began when my phone broke, which was a blessing in disguise. I took this upon myself to recognize that there was a certain, almost disgustingly addictive, silence and freedom that came from a break from my virtual reality.

I took a break from socializing virtually, and really attempted to find some focus, happiness, stability and consistency within my concrete life. The beautiful part of this decision to part from my social media was that so much beauty came from this spiritual vacation, including a break from constantly needing to be concerned, be worried, or feel a constant pressure from social media. I truly had to a chance to be present and make this time away from technology a great time for myself.

To go on, I did not replace my phone for about three months. I truly took a vacation of my own, however, I was able to invest myself in so many other more meaningful lights that I am almost certain that if I had no gone through with this virtual vacation, things would not have turned out so great for me. This is probably because social media takes up a lot more time and is somewhat utilized as a tool in my life. I learned how unimportant social media was, but also how powerful it still is in our society, through my break from technology. A break from this world was exactly what came to me, whether I was ready to accept it or not.

I focused on REAL self-care, not just a virtual perception of self-care. I engaged in daily cardio, which my soul needed. I began picking up legitimate responsibilities in many facets of my life, and I also focused on truly making attempts to make things, and certain circumstances, better for myself, rather than just accepting mediocre standards of life. I craved more sensibility and found comfort with myself much more, which I found has been difficult, during many times of my life.

I forced myself to make commitments, and while I am still nervous about the idea of commitments to anything, I am making efforts towards attempting to accept commitments.

While so much good has come out of this time away from distractions, many days can often be difficult, tiring and still stressful for me. I have had to put in a lot of hard work, in order to receive my hard work back in many mysterious ways, but I am thankful nonetheless

In contrast to all this good news, I also reconfirmed that I am lactose intolerant. While I will not divulge too much about it now, I will be the first to let you know that making lifestyle changes, such as cutting dairy out of my daily diet, has served as difficult, as well as caused me much discomfort and bloating. I have found my stomach to be much more sensitive than I would like it to be, which has truly forced me to make changes in more ways than one.

I still love coffee, hiking, photography, social media, shopping, my loved ones, and dogs, however, I am very proud of myself and have made some newsworthy growth.

With that said, a rut and a vacation is sometimes all we need to find some god-forsaken happiness.

I still love creating, sharing, and blogging, and am hoping to invest more time and effort to creating some incredible content for this upcoming year!

Good things are coming this year! I hope the same for all.

I hope everyone has an wonderful day!

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

I am _____________.

What am I?
That’s the real question.

I know that I am a human being, and that is one of the only labels that I ever wish was used to describe me.
Unfortunately, this is not the case.
Many labels are associated with my existence, including negative and positive labels, depending largely on the individual labeling me.

Labels are unfortunately inevitable, and human beings, as well as our society, enjoy utilizing labels to describe, define, and pass judgement on others.
Even more unfortunately, negative labels are inevitable as a human being, as our society seemingly enjoys using labels in a negative connotation, in order to categorize, group, and associate, or even differentiate, individuals.


I am imperfect.

While this is an unsettling label to have to live with, I am human, which ultimately means that imperfection is part of my genetic makeup and DNA.
These imperfections, or flaws, are things that you should not punish yourself for, as they are the parts of yourself that set you apart from others.
However, a handful of new labels can come from your imperfections, as individuals will continue to judge and label you for your unique, or “flawed,” qualities.
Labels can be applied to both physical and intangible qualities.

I am clumsy.
I am ditzy.
I am forgetful.
I am a complainer.
I am distracted.
I am temperamental.
I am sensitive.
I am emotional.
I am loud.
I am fast-paced.
I am over thinking.
I am eccentric.
I am unique.
I am irritating.
I am energetic.
I am lazy.
I am anxious.
I am intense.
I am passionate.
I am annoying.
I am happy.
I am impulsive.
I am confused.
I am EXTRA.
I am crazy.
I am weird.
I am a try-hard.
I am competitve.
I am hypocritical.
I am curious.
I am naÌve.
I am opionated.
I am critical.
I am gullible.
I am stubborn.
I am sassy.

The list could truly go on for days, but I figured I would stop here.
These qualities are some of the many facets that makeup my personality, and myself.
Descriptors of all sorts can be used to describe others, but many of these descriptors, or labels, have a negative connotation. The way to overcome these imperfections, or unique facets of your personality and inner workings, is to learn to look at them with a new positive perspective.
I dare you to put a positive twist on your imperfections.
Your imperfections are given to you, in order for you to learn to utilize them in the real world. Find outlets or opportunities that allow you to showcase your “imperfections,” or qualities that make you who you are. It is especially pertinent to be able to use these qualities for your benefit, so instead of sulking over that stupid label, utilize it and manipulate it for your advantage.

Of course, this is all much easier said than done.
I can say for certain that these imperfections of mine have gotten me into a lot of trouble, but at the same time, they have been the reasons for some of my biggest blessings.
It truly just depends on whether you would like to look at things as a glass half full, or a glass half empty.

Labels can really take the form of an ugly creature, especially when negative, malicious labels are used against you.
Words, such as “ugly,” “fat,” “skinny,” “emaciated,” “loser,” “bitch,” “faggot,” “gay,” etc. can really hit home for most individuals, as these labels can really be internalized and cause serious damage to someone.
Personally, as a girl with a very fast metabolism and a very petite frame, I have been around the block when it comes to vicious labels about my weight and small frame.
“You are anorexic,” “you are emaciated,” “you are disgusting,” “you are so bony,” “you have an eating disorder,” “you are SO skinny,” and finally, “you are TOO skinny.”
Our society worships the idea of being skinny, as our society, by popular belief, has decided that being skinny makes one attractive.
While many individuals would idealize having such a small frame, or being unable to gain weight, my small frame actually is one of the many things that I am not proud of, as it draws unnecessary attention towards me.
I let these labels and opinions affect me so much so that I would never wear form-fitting clothing and felt uncomfortable wearing clothes that may have shown, not even show off, my body shape.
The baggier the clothes, the less people were able to identify my size, or so I thought myself. So, I chose to hide my body by wearing clothes that were comfortable nonetheless, but did not always make me feel good.
I felt as though my body and my small frame almost offended individuals, or bothered them, as it seemed to be one of everyone’s favorite topics to address with me.
My secret to keeping a small frame is something that I have yet to find out, because I can tell you for sure that my diet is far from healthy. I can also eat more than a boy going through puberty, however, for some reason, I am still unable to gain any form of substantial weight.
I do not know what to say other than, “I have tried time-and-time again.”
This is something about myself that I cannot change, so I naturally had to accept my body and learn to love this small, bony body that allows me to do all the things that I love to do.

Unfortunately, labels are mandatory in some aspects of our society, especially when it comes to mental health, as one must receive a diagnosis, in order to receive help.
In this sense, professionals utilize labels in order to categorize and to diagnose your symptoms.
Having a professional psychiatric diagnosis can come with its’ own negative labels and connotations, as many will attempt to utilize your diagnosis to label you in a negative light.

According to a handful of professional doctors, my existence comes with a handful of labels, as a result of my unique biochemical makeup.
So, here it goes…

I am complex PTSD.
I am OCD.
I am social anxiety.
I am panic disorder.
I am agoraphobia.
I am phobias.
I am ADHD.
I am six types of ADD (classic ADD, inattentive ADD, overfocused ADD, temporal lobe ADD, limbic ADD, ring of fire ADD, and anxious ADD).

With these labels automatically associated with my existence, it is quick for strangers to continue what professionals have addressed and continue associating me with unprofessional labels.
unfortunately, these strangers, or peers, do not have professional qualifications to diagnose me with labels that fall outside of these psychiatric disorders in which I have been diagnosed with.
And, I am not going to lie, mostly because I am horrible at it anyways, these unnecessary labels formulated by various individuals experiences with me, or through word-of-mouth, were and still are hurtful and greatly offensive.
It is incredibly difficult not to internalize these outside opinions, as I have spent years obsessing, internalizing, and believing these horrible labels that others have attempted to shove my way.
For someone who is so critical of myself in order to avoid getting labeled, I really ended up with a handful of labels, especially when it comes to my mental health. It is truly ironic, as I actively have always worked to be as close to perfect as possible, in the hopes of facing any negative criticism from myself, as well as others. Unfortunately, getting labeled with these diagnoses was not something that I asked for and these labels are the last possible thing that I could have ever just had handed to me.
But, I cannot run away from these labels, as they are a significant part of my life, and allow me to understand myself and somewhat understand my actions, behaviors, and reactions.
Why I have so many labels is a mystery to me…The world works in such interesting ways, am I right?
I can tell you for certain that the more that you listen to these comments, which are simply just opinions and not based on facts, you may start to believe them, and in turn, react in a way that coincides with that label.
For example, for many years, and still to this day, people have told me that I am crazy. In fact, I have been called various synonyms of crazy, as well.
And, for a while, I took this offensively, ran with it, and internalized it.
I would literally try (VERY HARD) to be “crazy,” because that is what I thought people wanted, and that is what I thought people thought of me. So, naturally, I began believing that I was much more crazy than I already am and began acting out. With anxiety like mine, I began obsessing over how crazy people thought I was, even though I was not even THAT crazy, but if a large majority of people are saying I am, then that must be so.
Instead of being “crazy busy,” “crazy lazy,” or “crazy fun,” I internalized this label in a negative light, which only fueled my fire to attempt to showcase a very extreme version of “crazy.”
To be honest, trying THAT hard to be something that I simply am not was extremely tiresome, extremely difficult, and required an extreme amount of motivation, which was fueled by the labels.
I would think to myself, “They think I am crazy? Well, I can give you crazy. Let me show you what crazy actually is!”
The point of this story is that I let these labels get to me, and instead of turning a cheek, or simply embracing my eccentric existence, I decided to go out of my way to put on a show for myself (because who really actually cares and who really actually wants to watch), in an attempt to try to embrace this label.
This was simply not constructive behavior, and in fact, I did not do a very good job at acting the role of “crazy.” If I had to grade myself on the effort, I would give myself an A+, but my execution was C-, at that.
I was trying to prove a point to the world, but instead, I forgot that everyone else is so entirely wrapped up in their own worlds that no one truly was watching my “crazy show.”
The funnier part about this time of my life was that all my close friends, who know me very well, treated me no differently and did not buy into my act. In fact, they kept telling me and reassuring me that I was completely sane, which completely defeated the purpose of trying to act “crazy.”
This was the complete opposite reaction that I wanted!
I clearly did not do a very convincing job, and have to do better next time.
My efforts were truly for nothing, as I realized that the only opinions that truly matter are your own, which also include your tight-knit support group, who always love, support, and cheer you on.

In my day, I have been labeled a lot of negative things. A lot of these labels emerged as a result of my diagnoses, as many people find it difficult to understand me, accept me, and be patient with me.
I am a very confusing and controversial person to understand, as many people have come to understand that I have more layers than an onion.
Many of my behaviors, actions, and words are confusing and make people wonder where my head is at, but I sware it is right where it needs to be, which is right above my shoulders.

I am misunderstood.
I am an acquired taste.

It is no one’s fault truly.
I am like a grapefruit, because when you first try grapefruit, not that many people like them right off the bat, as they are very tangy and very startling to one’s tastebuds. But, grapefruit tends to grow on people, and with time, you begin slowly acclimating to it.

Maybe, I am tequila. 
Tequila is a contradiction, as it is truly an acquired taste and not many people truly enjoy it. In fact, people love to hate tequila! However, people are still willing to drink it, because tequila gaurantees a good time (most times), poor decisions, and a break from reality. Though most people hate drinking tequila, everyone still tolerates it and can always count on tequila for a not-so-memorable time.

With that said, I also know what and who I am, or at least I think I do.
I can for certain say that I know what and who I am more now than I did a year ago.

I am strong.
I am charismatic.
I am fun.
I am intelligent.
I am friendly.
I am motivated.
I am energetic.
I am beautiful.
I am trying.
I am hardworking.
I am patient.
I am kind.
I am forgiving.
I am exciting.
I am open-minded.
I am witty.

I am perseverance.
I am creative.
I am hilarious.
I am awkward.
I am outgoing.
I am adventurous.
I am a lover.

♥ I am me ♥

You see even with all these labels attached to me, I still would like to think that I have some redeemable qualities, whether people recognize it and appreciate it should not matter.
All that matters is that you appreciate yourself and learn to practice that notion we call self-love.
This is very difficult for me, as I have always been an individual who was quick to criticize themselves, and take every loss and mistake too personally and too seriously.
I am always thinking about ways I could have been “better,” and often fall into the pattern of simply just punishing myself for small mistakes, or faults, that I may have made throughout the day. Even if I have not made a mistake, there is always something MORE I could have done.
Instead of simply letting things go, I begin picking myself apart and letting this mistake define myself, my self-worth, etc.
It is a toxic cycle!
With mistakes and losses, there comes labels, which I am always trying to avoid. However, labels always seemingly make their way into my life.

Labels are being dropped more frequently than human beings drop their phones on their faces while they are texting laying down.
That is saying a lot!

Labels are all fun and games, until you let these labels get the best of you. While most labels are thrown around with a negative connotation behind it, do your best to utilize this information, or this label, to your advantage.
While you cannot control other people, you can control what you do with these labels, or descriptors, of yourself. Labels, as bad as this sounds, can actually be beneficial to a certain extent, as labels are often based upon observations and experiences that others have had with you. You can find out a lot about the way that you may come off from an outsider’s perspective from people labeling you. Maybe, there are things that you can work on and improve on, which means that the control the label was supposed to have over you is no longer existent.

Labels will be around until the Earth decides to rest in peace, or human beings become extinct. And, while labels are great to use to identify people, things, places, etc., realize the power that a label can have on a person and their ability to live.
Stop telling people what they are and let people figure it out for themselves – that is, unless they wish to seek your help.

Next time someone tries to label you, just simply respond, “I know you are, but what am I?”

All I know is that…

[I am human]
[I am hungry]

[I am parched]
[I am tired]

What are you?
I challenge you to fill in the blanks and share your labels, and your experience, with them with me.
I am ________.

Do not let others tell you what and who you are, you be the judge of that.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

 

 

Gallery | Totally Pawsome Dogs

There is no better way to be welcomed back from a leave of absence, such as vacation, with wagging tails, wiggling hips, and jumping dogs that cannot seem to contain their excitement about your return.

My vacation occurred over the course of 13 days, which meant that I was apart from my four-legged buddies for an extensive period of time. It did not actually feel like 13 days. In fact, it felt much shorter than 13 days.

I thought about my four-legged friends often during my vacation, as I found myself missing them, and wondering if they were thinking about me while they were getting pet and receiving love from people other than me.
This sounds ridiculous, but it is only natural for animals to miss their friends, regardless if they are a human, or a dog.
I wondered that within the time that I was away on vacation if they were going to forget about me, or if they would not like me as much as they did before I left on vacation, or if they had plans to replace me. I also wondered how they were holding up.
It is truly unforunate that dogs do not have the ability to use iPhones, otherwise I would have been Facetiming them the entire vacation.

While I was well aware that my first day back was going to be fine, I was a little anxious and a little nervous to see the way that the dogs reacted to my return. I wondered if they were even going to remember me, or if they resented me. I also wondered if they would be excited to see me, or if they would be completely unamused.
It took me a little bit to get back into the groove of things and realize that everything was exactly the way I left it, and my best friends were still my best friends.

My welcome back was more than I imagined it would be, and then some. All my best friends exuded extra excitement, as they all jumped over eachother, causing chaos, just to greet me. The amount of wagging tails, full-blown smiles, and jumping bodies warmed my soul and reminded me why I enjoy what I do so much.
They had missed me just as much as I had missed them; maybe even more!
My heart and soul were full.
There is truly no better welcome than a group of 62 eager, cheerful, and sweet dogs, who appreciate your existence more than you even know.
Even the dogs that I did not think would even be ecstatic to see me were over the moon about my return, which caught me off-guard and truly made me so happy.
These dogs that I did not realize appreciated my presence, despite assuming that I had developed a strong, or memorable, relationship with them, humbled me by exuding such excitement and raw joy to me.
“I barely even pet it [the dog] that much. I do not know why it [the dog] even likes me, because I do not even think that we are even that good of friends,” I thought to myself.
I decided to embrace their love, their appreciation, and their joy!
These furry friends reminded me how incredible and how simply good “man’s best friends” are; they truly appreciate every person and every good thing that comes their way. They are truly so simple and so affectionate!
I was gently reminded how important it is to treat these kind, gentle creatures with the utmost kindness, respect, and love that I can conjure up every day, in an attempt to repay these angelic creatures for the love and the happiness they bring onto the Earth.
I have made it a priority to truly attempt to spend time with as many of these dogs, forming relationships and showering them with love, because they truly do deserve it.
Every dog is truly a gift and blessing wrapped into one – it is important to actively acknowledge this and act upon appreciating this blessing!

Reconnecting with my furry friends has been exciting and wonderful, as I truly did miss seeing them on a daily basis and being surrounded completely by “man’s best friends.” I forgot how much purpose, joy, and perspective these wonderful friends of mine give me and continue to give me.

Each dog has their own unique personality, and getting to spend more quality one-on-one time with each seperate dog allows me to connect and to create a unique friendship and relationship with each furry friend that I come across.
Catching up and reminicsing with as many of my goodest friends continues to be a treat, and a unique and personal experience that I never get sick of.

Their company brings me so much happiness and so much humor, as time spent with my best friends is never dull.
Watching them in action, attempting to navigate their dog social world, is one of the most entertaining things to witness and to experience.


Below, I have captured some of our most precious, joyful, charismatic, and affectionate dogs in their element.


Meet Walter!
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A handsome devil, indeed.Processed with VSCO with c1 presetProcessed with VSCO with c1 preset


Meet Sallie!Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

A precious gem with a gentle, kind soul! She has a great, fun, and playful personality.
She is also such a loyal girl, always sticking by your side no matter what.Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
She is also great in front of the camera!
In another lifetime, she definitely got very familiar with cameras and modeling.Processed with VSCO with c1 preset


Meet Odie!Processed with VSCO with c1 presetThis was my first time meeting Odie, and he was such a pleasure to hang out with. He was much more of a people’s dog than a dog’s dog, if you know what I mean.
He was very affectionate and cuddly, always loving being pet.Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
He knows how to work his angles. Processed with VSCO with c1 preset



Meet Bella!Processed with VSCO with c1 presetBella was not the biggest fan of the camera in front of her face, as you can tell. But, Bella, similar to the others, is a lover. While she generally surrounded by younger individiuals, Bella most times can be found keeping to herself. She is not mean, but she does not go out of her way to engage with dogs that are energized.
Bella is an older woman, with such a loving soul, burried under what appears at first glace as a mean, cold-shouldered individual.
She is a lover, but she is also cautious and careful with who she shares her love and affection with, just in case she could get hurt.


Meet Camdem!Processed with VSCO with c1 presetHis personality is just as big as his smile! You can almost feel his energetic, fun energy radiating from this picture. Camdem loves to love, and will love on you whether you are a human being or another dog.
He is just truly such a good sport!


Meet Rose! Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
She is sweeter than her button nose! She is always ready to have fun and loves to smile 🙂 She is such a happy camper!
#NOBADAYZ for Rose!Processed with VSCO with c1 preset


Meet Wyatt!Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
Wyatt is such a handsome, young cattle dog. He is gorgeous and visually stimulating to the eye, because his coat is so unique.
Wyatt is truly unique, with a one-of-a-kind personality.
He mostly keeps to himself, though he is quite friendly and polite to most, but since investing more time hanging out with him, I have been able to witness his true colors come through.
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Meet Olive!Processed with VSCO with c1 presetHer beautiful and unique look are not only the captivating things about Olive.
Her loving, yet high-energy personality is another captivating thing about Olive.
While her size might make you think that Olive may be a delicate creature, Olive is one of the big boys and can hold on her own, which is one of my favorite things about Olive.
She is not afraid to brake some behavioral rules, in order to show you how much she loves you. If it means, climbing onto your back and licking the back of your head in order to show you how much she loves you, she is willing to go that extra mile. Processed with VSCO with c1 preset


Meet Scout! Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
Scout is fairly new to doggy day care, but I immediately took a liking into Scout. While he is still learning right from wrong, and socially acceptable behaviors and socially unacceptable behaviors, his soul is so precious and innocent.
Scout is very selective with the dogs that he wants to spend his time playing with, which is not a bad thing, except when the dog just does not want to play with him.
For a puppy, he is very determined and tends to think that he knows what he wants.
His fun, light-hearted energy is great to have around and experience.Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
He has such an unique look and such a unique personality!Processed with VSCO with c1 preset


Meet Bowie! Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
A sweetheart and handsome fellow all wrapped into one. Bowie just wants to be loved, and while he may look intimidating, or otherwise mean, Bowie is the furthest thing from intimidating, or mean. In fact, Bowie is the quickest to run for help when he senses danger, or a dog plays too hard with him, or a dog snaps at him.
The sweetest labrador and pitbull mix ever placed on this Earth is Bowie.
Though he weighs more than your average lap dog, Bowie is still committed to being a full-time lap dog.


Meet Nitro!Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

My sweet-loving, adventure-seeking Nitro warms my soul and my spirit! He can literally light up your world with his playful energy, which is naturally contagious. He is so fun and always down to get a little down and dirty. Nitro loves playing with everyone, and gets along with all! He would never hurt and fly, let along another dog.
He loves to adventure and is definitely a thrill seeker!
Nitro also gives the best hugs, as he always runs up to me and wraps his arms around my hips with the best of his ability.
His loyalty and general excitement for life is incredible! He always makes the best out of all situations, and is non-stop fun!


Meet Jerry!
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Jerry is a derpy boy, who is always causing mischief on accident. His intentions are never to do anything wrong or apply any harm, but sometimes his fun-nature gets him in trouble.
Jerry LOVES to have fun and is willing to push the boundaries to have some fun. He loves getting others involved, and generally, loves to get himself in a little bit of trouble. He truly cannot help it!
But, his genuinely purely gold and loving nature contrats his semi-outrageous side, and balances his personality out. His outrageous side is awesome to witness, because he truly does know how to get the party going.


Meet Mac!

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Mac is a hard one to figure out, let along pet. At first glance, Mac seems a little rude and standoff-ish, as he always seems to be running his mouth.
But, he is quite anxious, deep down, and he also is such a sweetheart, once you dedicate enough time towards getting to know him one-on-one.
I can relate to Mac’s louder mouth, as I feel like he sometimes feels like he has to yell, or bark loudly, in order to get his point across, or even be heard. This is what I call the case of “small person’s syndome,” where you attempt to make up for your size with bigger and louder everything, including bigger and louder voices, bigger and louder barks, bigger and louder personalities, etc.Processed with VSCO with c1 preset



One of the best homecoming gifts was the opportunity to reunite with Auggie, my husband, my everything, and one of my most favorite dogs.
His smile melts my heart…Not to mention, he is gorgeous!
After weeks of being apart, our reunion was much needed and I spent my entire shift suffocating and spoiling him with so much love, pets, and cuddles.

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Piper was another one of the greater homecoming gifts that I was able to come back to. Piper was the first dog that I bonded with, and essentially deemed “one of my favorites.” Her soul, her spirit, her energy, and her personality are so pure and full of genuine love, happiness, and affection.
Reuniting with Piper is always such a treat. She loves showing how affectionate she is by licking your face until my face begins to hurt from her tongue, by jumping for joy whenever you are near, or even far, following you wherever you go, smiling and wiggling her hips just out of pure excitement to see me, cuddling with me, and sitting on my lap.
She is such a gentle soul, with such excitement, love, and affection within her! I am truly lucky to have such a gal pal like her, who radiates such love and joy for me.

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These smiling faces and amazing souls have brought so much good and positivity in my life. Beyond this, they have all made a large imprint in my life, as they have become more to me than just dogs. They are truly my friends!

How lucky I am to keep such great and good-looking company!

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

In My Perfect World

If you could construct your ideal world, what would it be like? What is your perfect world?

With all the terror and chaos occurring within the world, this theme of creating the most perfect haven has continuously made its way into people’s conversations, as everyone chimes in an attempt to insert their unique opinion and insight on how the world can get two steps closer to being “perfect.”

If you had all the power in the world, what would you do? What would make you happy? What is your utopia?

It is a hard concept to wrap your head around since perfection is an unattainable quality. It’s one of those questions that makes you think.

I complain a lot, which is a habit I need to completely kick out the window since in ’95. My incessant complaining had me thinking what it would take for me to not nitpick my reality, or find something to complain about.

In high school, I read this Tweet that stated, “People who complain more live longer,” Let’s just say, I took it to heart and ran with it. Oops…don’t trust everything you read on the Internet.

In my utopia, or my perfect world, I would own a bunny. One that was very similar to my last bunny, Tubz. I would want more clothes and shoes, which is very superficial.

In my perfect world, there would be no violent conflict, but better conflict resolution strategies. This utopia would focus on the integration and unity of our world. Of course. along with it, no one would be hungry and there would be homes above everyone’s head.

World peace, right?

I would want more rainbows, the existence of unicorns, no animal cruelty, more smiles, much more kindness, more art, more nature, less societal standards, easier accessibility to opportunities for all, health care for everyone, higher minimum wage, free, or affordable, education, cheaper housing, etc.

This sounds very cliché and probably a bit silly. Honestly, because I am not too sure how to answer this question.

Coming from a college kid’s perspective, I have no idea what a “perfect world” would be like. To a certain extent, the world needs some chaos, in order to evolve, grow and revolutionize.

As I sit here thinking about all the small, or even enormous, issues that I would change about the world, or simply irritate me, I also sit here wondering if there is ever a way to create a perfect utopian, or if these changes that I stand by would truly solve some of the problems, issues, and inconveniences I find myself facing.

Many of the things that our society is currently fighting for, including equal rights, world peace, environmental sustainability, gun violence, bullying, animal cruelty, mental illness, etc., are all issues that I spend a lot of time thinking about. But, will one person’s idea of a solution to that problem, actually result in a solution for all these solutions?

The answer to that question is “no,” but is there really one right answer about how to solve all the problems of the world, including everyone’s personal problems that currently live on this Earth.

We always joke about how “in a perfect world” bad things would not happen, or things could just go our way without having to do anything. To a certain extent, in a perfect world, every single human being would be able to do exactly what their hearts desired and get what they wanted, without having to lift a finger. We conceptualize that if we got everything that we so desired that we would all be eternally happy, and as a result, there would be no problems.

But, these days, everyone seems to have a problem.

In a world where everything we pleased is too attainable, eternal happiness and the diminishment of problems would not occur. Instead, eternal chaos and greed would run rampant. Beyond that, laziness would become a legitimate health issue, in this utopian world.

I have idealized and even resented other people’s realities, wishing I was handed the same circumstances that I witnessed them experiencing. I literally have spent many years obsessing over various people’s  reality, circumstances, and life, constantly telling myself that if I was them and had their life that my life would be perfect.

It is easy to envy a person’s life, or their lifestyles. It is even easier to resent a person for their life, circumstances, opportunities, vacations, money, etc., due to our perception of their life. This leads to a dangerous habit, as you begin playing a victim card, instead of actively attempting to solve problems.

There is no actual guarantee that if you were someone else, or lived their life, that your life would be any easier, or better.

Chaos would result from a utopia, where every single human being could have anything they wanted and do whatever they want.

Our problems, while they are not good per say, allow us to unite and come together with others who may share the same belief. Our problems are also some of the only things in our world that people actually pay attention to, because for some reason people crave problems. Problems keep people aware, conscious, growing, maturing, learning, experimenting, and open-minded.

Human beings may have just been put on this Earth to create problems, or to seek out problems. It is just in our nature!

Our society focuses so intently on the problems that are occurring currently. This can be viewed as a bad thing, but reporting on and addressing problems or mishaps within a society reminds people that there are still so many ways that our world could improve. So, people are able to come together and exert some passion towards fighting to solve, or bring change, towards some of the issues that our society faces.

Problems also allow for the birth of new ideas, new perspectives, and new beliefs. Addressing problems must be followed up with finding solutions to these problems, or attempting to discover a solution that benefits, or assists, the majority of those experiencing a problem first-hand.  Finding a solution brings individuals together, and these individuals all have different beliefs, perspectives, and ways of thinking and problem-solving. With the utilization of more than one individual, the potential to find a uniquely formulated solution from individuals of different backgrounds, beliefs, morals and experiences, is infinite.

There is so much right with the world, but there is also so much wrong in the world.

If I could be a superhero, I would wear a cape and help everyone overcome their problems. But, unfortunately, the extent in which I would like to resolve everyone’s problems is simply requires more than a cape.

My current reality is somewhat utopian.

I would rather choose to be happy and to live my life out than live in a world that would produce absolute chaos, and that would produce and exhibit extremely undisreable results.

I have everything I ever wanted and more right in front of me. I am currently living in a utopia!

The only things I would actively like to change about my life circumstances is having to pay so much money to attend college, in which I would wish for affordable education. I would ask for one more thing, which would be to own a pet bunny.

The idea of perfect is a concept that is impossible to grasp, let along imagine. I do not know what “perfect” would even be like, and I cannot even conceptualize this far-fetched idea. So, I choose to believe that the world I was born into and the life that I have to be (almost) perfect, mostly because I do not know any other life, nor have I ever lived someone else’s life.

What is your idea of a utopian world? What would your utopia be like?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

 

June Reflections

The month of June has been extremely exciting, frustrating, stressful, kind, postive, and incredible all at the same time. It is safe to say that is has been a very emotional month for me, full of more incredible memories than bad memories.

I am still continuing to learn, grow, and mature, as the days come to me. I am still making mistakes, though…I am still a human being, and unfortunately, I make plenty of mistakes.
But, what can I say? I am still young and still have a handful of mistakes to continue making.

This month was a month full of growth, re-discovery, discovery, panic, anger, happiness, emotions, and self-awareness.
The stress and the heat of the Summer was beginning to get to me by the middle of the month, as I realized that time was continuing to fly, with or without my consent. As a result, all the things that I had continued to procrastinate still were left undone and unresolved, leaving me in a state of panic.
At the same time that the stress was hitting me, my urge to spend every waking minute outside, playing and enjoying the Sun, began emerging, with or without my consent. I found myself constantly wanting to enjoy my days, doing only things that I wanted to, not necessarily the things that I had to do, which only intensified my stress, as I often ended up choosing to enjoy my life.

I spent a lot of time this month focusing on having fun, or engaging in fun activities that I have always wanted to do, instead of constantly punishing myself for not working hard enough.

I can say with affirmation that I was much kinder to myself this month than I have been in a few years.
I am not ashamed to say that I do not regret any ounce of fun that I engaged in over the course of the last month, and I would not ever take it back.

I spent a lot more time outside, hanging out with friends, doing activities that I love, and learning to relax.
It was much more difficult than one would imagine.

Re-learning to relax, or to let myself relax and breathe, was extremely difficult.
In your head, it is quite simple, as breathing is one of those innate skills that should not take much energy, or stress, to execute. Unforunately, I completely forgot how to execute relaxing  and breathing recently, and re-learning to do something that I have not practiced in a while was difficult.

I am extremely proud of myself for allowing myself to get out of my own head, and finally allowing myself to forgive, to forget, and to just be.
My mind has been working extremely hard recently to hold me captive inside my thoughts, and it seemed like lately my head was the only place that I could reside in.
It seemed like most times I was unable to seperate myself from the capitivity of my head and my thoughts, which often made it extremely difficult for me to simply just enjoy the moments passing by and impeded my ability to have fun.

My prison sentence in the nearest federal brain prison has finally come to an end, and boy, am I glad that it is slowly coming to a stop.

This month, after finally learning to live outside of my brain, I was able to push myself outside of my comfort zone, as I stopped using my anxiety as a valid excuse for everything. Living outside of my head has truly helped me manage my anxiety and panic attacks to a certain extent.

While I still experienced some painful panic attacks, racing thoughts, etc., I have seen progress within my growth. I have been experimenting with various new coping mechanisms, in order to experience blissful states.
I never realized how much my own brain, my own thoughts, and my own irrational fears could take control of my life. Your brain is truly a powerful muscle!

I have been doing my best to take advantage of this new success that I have achieved by attempting to continue to grow and to continue becoming a better person every chance that I can.

Another thing that I have been working hard to do is to SLOW DOWN, in every way, shape, and form. My mind became overtly cluttered and chlosterphobic when I was unable to simply allow myself some time to slow down. When my mind is working faster than I am able to process my thoughts, my obligations, my anxieties, or my fears, I begin to immediately panic and begin feeling like I am drowning in my own thoughts, without a life vest.
Slowing down allows me to simply break down fears, obligations, stresses, etc., without exxassperating an already uncomfortable situation.

Entering every day with a strong and calm mindset is not something that can simply be done. It takes a lifetime of practice, as life is incredibly stressful.

My mind loves to wander, so it is especially important that I keep her on a short leash. In a matter of milliseconds, my mind can turn a seemingly achievable task into the MOST ENORMOUSLY TALL HURDLE TO EVER COME ACROSS. My mind also can turn into a torture chamber in a blink of an eye. As a result, I have made it an utmost priority to work on training myself on catching myself before I let my mind do such unspeakable things. These are all things that can be improved and helped, which is something that I continue to remind myself.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy the beautiful life you live.
Learning to love yourself and be kind to yourself can be as simple as to stop saying that “you can’t” do something, or be better.

I am the most forgetful person when it comes to being kind to myself and learning to let myself enjoy life.
No matter what you have done, or what you are going to do, you deserve to be happy, to enjoy your life, and to have fun! You deserve to laugh and you deserve to feel good about yourself. Try to enjoy, or even celebrate, your existence and your happiness. Share it with the world!
The world, including yourself, spends too much time and effort punishing you and trying to bring you down anyways. So, you may as well enjoy as much of it celebrating and DOING LIFE, in order to maximize your time on this Earth.

Be the light at the end of the tunnel for yourself and for others.
Happiness, joy, and a love for life is contagious, and it will be the only thing I will be catching this year.

#YOLO

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

The Best In The Midwest

Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Wisconsin…

WOW! You sure do live up to your name! YOU TRULY BLEW ME OUT OF THE WATER.

I truly did not know exactly what the state of Wisconsin was going to be like, let along what it was going to look like.
I imagined Wisconsin to be completely different than what it turned out to be, and boy, am I glad that my imagination downplayed the beauty of Wisconsin, because I was SHOCKED at how beautiful it was once I had arrived.

Wisconsin is an oasis, with lakes at every exit of the highway!
There was a surplus of lakes and lush greenery, and it was truly breathtaking.
Summers in Wisconsin are the definition of bliss.
The scenery within the state of Wisconsin is stunning! I would have to agree that it is truly the best in the Midwest.IMG_3224IMG_3202IMG_3201IMG_3200IMG_3199IMG_3198IMG_3197IMG_3196IMG_3114IMG_3113IMG_3112

Being so close to any water, whether it be a lake, river, etc., is a concept that is completely unfamiliar to me, as I grew up in the landlocked state of Colorado. I never grew up around water, so playing by and playing on the water was something that was extremely exciting for me.

While “lake life” in Wisconsin can not be beat, neither can the sunsets.
During my short-but-sweet stay in Wisconsin,  I saw a handful of breathtaking sunsets that literally had my jaw all the way to the floor.
Most of my time was spent in Occonomowac, Wisconsin on Lac La Belle, and watching the sunsets from the lake was one of the most incredible things I have witnessed!
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I even had multiple opportunities to watch the fireworks of the lake, which was another gorgeous site and one that should not have been missed!
Due to the fireban that extends throughout Colorado, I will not be able to experience an AMAZING firework show, and normally, do not get the opportunity to watch them.
Every night, there always seemed to be at least one firework show happening in the distance. I finally got to see a REAL FIREWORK SHOW at least once a day.

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I clearly had no idea what I was missing out on!

Lac La Belle was gorgeous, if you could not already tell, and a great place to cool off for the Summer.
I spent A SURPLUS of time in the lake, as this was my first time spending significant amounts of time by the water.
My irrational fear of deep water, even though I can swim and participated in swim team, subsided, as the calm and serenity of the lake overtook my irrational fear.
I spent as many hours as possible swimming in the lake, tanning by the lake, tanning on the water, jet skiing, on boat rides, and even paddle boarding.
These are all activities that I cannot normally do in Boulder, Colorado, so I found them especially exciting.
I also finally got to wear and use my numerous bathing suits for reasons other than tanning, or not actually going in the water. Some of my bathing suits saw more action than they have in years, and their entire existence!

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It took 23 years for me to finally get to know the water on a more deeper level, but I definitely do not regret it for a second.

Lake culture is super exciting and it was a pleasure getting to know all the rules of the lake. Ironically, or not so ironically, the number one rule of the lake is the golden rule, which is treat people how you want to be treated.
People were extremely friendly on the lake, if that was any consolation that the world still does have good, friendly people around.

The toys that people had for the lake were GREAT, and so much fun to play with. I had never seen so many paddle boards, jet skies, boats, floaties of all shapes, sizes, and species, etc. I just wanted to play with them all!
The most challenging part of the trip was making sure to allocate my time appropriately, so I could get acquainted with every lake toy that I had access to.

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To say that I had fun is an understatement, because this one of my favorite trips that I have ever been on in a while! I honestly did not expect to have this fun, or rather did not know that I could have this much fun!!
I was a little bit out of my comfort zone, however, that was exactly what I was looking for.

Wisconsin allowed me the power to mentally, emotionally, and physically take a vacation from my current reality in Boulder, Colorado, which had been stressing me out.
My goal of my vacation time in Wisconsin was simply to leave my worries, anxieties, and circumstances at home, and do exactly what one is to do on vacation, which is to relax, have fun, and to forget that you have any worries.
It will forever hold a special place in my heart and I will never forget it.
I am looking for some more vacations to Wisconsin, especially in the Summer and by any lake for that matter!

My favorite part about Wisconsin, minus the beautiful scenery and landscape and the lake, was the custard that could be found everywhere! Growing up in Boulder, I did not get to indulge in much custard, but Wisconsin allows ample opportunities to get a taste of the good life.

Wisconsin has a certain kind of beauty and charm that captivated me and made me fall in love with the state!
Who would have thought that admist all the corn fields and flat horizons of the Midwest that it would contain such a beautiful place? I most certainly did not.

Wisconsin, your lakes, your beaches, your forestry, your sunsets and your custard will most certainly be missed!
I already miss waking up to a view of the blue waters of the lake.

I will be back to Wisconsin very soon, but I had to leave because the mountains (my job) were calling me back.

I would call Wisconsin a Summer’s paradise, and I would consider one of my favorite places to spend my Summers.
Where do you enjoy spending your Summers?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

 

Trippin’ Road

Monday, June 25, 2018, marks the first day of a very eventful and highly anticipated road trip. I will be making the journey from Boulder, Colorado to Milwaukee, Wisconsin with one of my dearest friends, Bria Schlossmann.

While our main mission is to drive her Jeep back to Milwaukee, we decided to use it as an excuse to spend time together, adventure, and finally execute a trip that we had always entertained for five years. This year it finally became a reality!

Bria is from Wisconsin, however, I am a Boulder native, who has left the Boulder bubble, but not enough. I figured if I could figure out arraignments for my obligations that I could experience the world just a little more. The world contains so many magical, all natural gifts and treasures that are begging to be recognized, admired, uncovered, and shared.

Our first day was quite eventful, as we crossed the Colorado border into Nebraska.

We also made a pit stop at Fort Morgan, Colorado. Fort Morgan is a fairly small farm town and it seemed fairly traditional! There is something about those small towns that are charming, because they contain their own local gems that give the town a personality.

Of course, as we were leaving Colorado and entering Nebraska, we could not help but grab a picture at the “Welcome to Colorful Colorado.” This ended up being a little more of an obstacle for us, as I forced Bria to get off at the nearest exit and go in the opposite direction that we were supposed to be driving in JUST TO GET THIS PICTURE.

We did not skip a beat, proceeding to grab pictures at the “Welcome to Nebraska” sign, just because we can.

Staring at endless fields of corn, wheat, grass, etc. has always been fairly soothing for me to look at. Man, these fields sure do make the Earth seem like it could possibly be flat, but only part-time. The landscape is beautiful in its own unique way, and truly depends on perspective. Colorado and Nebraska had a surplus of endless fields, and luckily these fields looked far from dry, but very green and lush! This made me very happy and grateful for the rain that our nation has been receiving.

The sky was what was up!! The clouds were so breathtaking to look at, as they seemed to be just as endless as the fields, as you could see them for miles. The clouds also seemed friendlier than usual, appearing to hang lower and closer to the ground than normal. The sky was captivating to be around

On our second day, we made our way through Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, and finally made it to Wisconsin.

The entire time we found ourselves chasing a storm, and at some points, the rain was so heavy that we could not see the roads.

I saw lots of wind farms….

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and lots of beauty!

I also found a new appreciation for the sky and the clouds.

My two day road trip excursion was extremely exciting, full of laughs, good memories, and good conversation.

My vacation is only beginning, however. I will be spending some time with Bria and her family in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, as well as Elk Point, Wisconsin. I am looking forward to be spending time with them, and exploring Wisconsin in all of its’ glory.

What Summer trips do you have planned?

Drive safe, but trip road often!!

xo,

Aichan Tewahade