Life Hack #27 – Ditch The Baggage & Leave Your Junk In The Trunk

Wherever it may be, whether it be at the door, at your exes, at the nearest dumpster, or in your Uber ride, leave your extra (emotional, unnecessary, negative, demeaning, argumentative, entitled, condescending, and/or victimized baggage ditch that unproductive baggage in your living room, kitchen, or wherever you desire, because it is only slowing you down and weighing you down by dragging, rolling, pulling, pushing, or carrying all the extra main brand baggage around you. For those of you that drive, own a car, or Uber (perhaps you may even utilize the trunk of your Uber vehicle by placing some of your junk in the trunk), leave all the extra clutter, or drama, or even outbursts, in the trunk of the vehicle. Clearly, the items do not fit within the front, or main part of the vehicle. so therefore, there is simply no room for all the nonsense that you tend to lug around with you in the main compartment of the car. But, there is room in the trunk. As a result, it is up to the individual to thoroughly and responsibly shift through all the baggage, which can be considered a huge task involving careful prioritizing and picking-and-choosing, and place all their belongings into their car strategically.

The items. or groceries, or junk, or luggage, or baggage (whatever you would like to call it) that you carry around with you everywhere you go metaphorically symbolize the stressors. emotional, physical or mental burdens you may be facing, or any drama that may be occurring in your life. The way that one decides to compact their car (front, back, and trunk) with items, whether it be groceries, junk, baggage or luggage, is a metaphor that depicts how one goes about organizing their personal baggage, attempting to strategically organize their personal baggage from most tolerable baggage to least tolerable, most distracting baggage. Naturally, as the saying goes, leave your junk in the trunk. so the most intolerable baggage will be thrown in the trunk until further notice, to be forgotten, or at least our of sight. The more tolerable, much smaller baggage you may seem to be clinging onto has the pleasure of riding shot-gun with you, as the shot gun seat has the least amount of room for baggage and should be reserved for baggage the size of a large women’s handbag. In short, the smallest and most manageable stressors are allowed to ride up in the passenger seat, as they are easier to carry around with you, and as a result, affect your mood, your life. and your existence the least. Most of the baggage that ride upfront can be correlated with daily stressors that we experience most days. As the baggage gets to be a moderately heavier, but do not completely weigh you down, they sit in the middle or back seat of your car. as they are more unique, specialized issues you have encountered. This type of baggage has a fairly simple solution, but takes a little bit more effort and time to let go of than a small baggage. Large baggage, or enormous baggage, is the type of baggage you want to avoid. This type of baggage weighs heavily on your heart, affects your mood, affects your life, affects your cognition, to name a few things. Often, while this type of baggage has a solution, a solution, or the ability to simply get rid of this baggage, is substantially more difficult than small or medium baggage. This usually requires a long-term solutions, an extended portion of time, much more energy than small and medium baggage, and has the ability to completely derail your life (or, it seems like it).

This goes without saying, however. the less enormous-sized baggage you have hiding in your trunk, or left at your door, the better. The more that enormous-sized baggage begins infiltrating your life, the harder it is for individuals to maintain emotional stability, or any type of stability.

With that said, do not try to store your king-sized baggage upfront – not only will it not fit, but you will be prone to more accidents, frustrations, etc. Also, if you have the opportunity to hide your junk in your trunk, why spend the time you are supposed to be spending being distracted, letting your baggage co-pilot and backseat drive your life? The last thing you need is for your enormous emotional baggage replace you as driver, and having your enormous baggage calling the shots is not a good feeling. The minute you begin prioritizing and unhealthily letting your huge baggage sit up front is the minute you begin letting your baggage take the wheel. Your huge emotional baggage is so large and in charge that if you even let them occupy anywhere but the trunk, the massive baggage will take up so much room, leaving you no room to breathe and forcing you to sit in the back row, as your baggage begins attempting to become the master of your demise. Instead of Jesus taking the wheel, your deep emotional baggage is able to use his enormous mass to overthrow you as the driver. These massive emotional baggages are not to be underestimated. If they were animals, they would be a very dominant animal, as they always dominate our decision-making processes, infiltrate our emotions. destroy our sleep schedules. and never seem to let my calm demeanor and “not-so-baggage” dominate.

The bigger the baggage and the heavier the cargo, the greater the impact and affect the emotional baggage will have on you, emotionally, mentally and physically. It is very common to feel helpless, and it is much easier said than done it comes to dissociate yourself from some of this junk, and be present and mindful.

While you cannot completely ignore your baggage, leave it in your trunk forever. or just let it rot, temporarily abandoning the EXTRA BAGGAGE is never a bad thing.

Sometimes, if you are truly lucky, if you leave your baggage unattended for long enough someone else ends up picking up what-used-to-be your extra baggage. In most cases, someone else picking up your extra-large baggage means that the problem is no longer something you need to be dragging around, but more commonly. someone picking up your extra baggage does not mean you are completely out the woods. Most commonly, it just means that now BOTH OF YOU, including the person who just tried to pick up your abandoned baggage. now have to deal with the baggage together. While it may lighten the load. it only adds more confusion and more baggage.

The key to dealing with attempting to essentially leave behind all your problems and be present for your task, activity, or responsibility, is to repeatedly tell yourself to, “stop looking at the junk in your trunk.” Your mother did give you some junk in the trunk to be proud of, but the last thing you want to be caught doing is examining the junk in your trunk in public – no one wants to see that.

The junk in your trunk, or your abandoned baggage, is meant to be acknowledged at some point, however, do not become your baggage.

With that said, why would you be in any rush to retrieve baggage that you purposely set out to abandon? The action speaks for itself, as the baggage is probably full of unnecessary clutter, or memorabilia that do not bring back good memories. The baggage could even be filled with moldy vegetables, or trash from your trash cans, for all I know. Either way, whatever undesirable worries, emotions, turmoil, pain, drama, or stressors fill your trunk or your king-sized luggage. may try to lure you back in, as you begin to miss the unnecessary “clutter.”

But, instead of listening to that junk in your trunk that is filled with excessive emotional. mental, and physical baggage. and getting sucked back into panicking about your baggage, simply let yourself have a break – a break from dragging your excessive baggage, or in some cases, popping your trunk to take a peek at the junk you are holding on to.

Some baggage, or “emotional speed bumps,” no matter how hard you try to lock it up in your trunk, or try to abandon it somewhere, just does not disappear like that. As we all grow to learn that some problems and hiccups are simply unavoidable to set aside, and require immediate attention by the individual. It does not matter if you are going to work, the grocery store, or even to The Grammy’s, some baggage weighs on you so heavily and follow you persistently, and as a result, you are forced to bring your baggage, or otherwise “junk,” into work.

You may ask how that is possible, and the only answer is that kind of intense and heavy baggage is the kind of baggage that will wiggle their way into your trunk, no matter how small the space is. To make matters worse. that kind of baggage always finds its way back to you, even after you abandon the baggage. No. the baggage does not suddenly gain legs. But, this kind of baggage seems to attract good Samaritans, who taken it upon themselves to not let you leave your baggage behind no matter what. They will yell after you, even if you are purposely ignoring you. If you can still manage to keep ignoring the Samaritan, who has no idea how much of a disservice they are doing you by returning the baggage, I guarantee you that they will manage to speed up and make physical contact with you. in order to get your absolute attention. The worst part about them physically contacting you is that now you can no longer pretend like you do not hear them.

“Here they go, scolding me about how silly I am to be leaving a beautiful black Samsonite suitcase set, consisting of five Samsonite suitcases, behind. Blah, blah, blah…I could have lost a bunch of very important stuff, EVEN THOUGH LOSING THIS BAGGAGE WAS THE WHOLE POINT,” I find myself thinking.

Sometimes, I even find myself wondering if I attract my own abandoned luggage back to me? It is almost as if I am magnetized to them. As you begin to trick yourself into thinking that you can avoid your baggage or problems forever, snap out of it.

Yes, you can leave your worries in another universe, or at the head of a poker table, but they always will be hiding, sometimes discretely or sometimes indiscreetly, and they will not go away until you take care of them.

By “taking care of them,” one could either refurbish their junk, in which an individual begins taking measures to completely abandon their junk at their neighbor’s door. In other cases, “taking care of them [baggage],” one may decide that they no longer want any part of this burden, including any lingering feelings. smells, thoughts, and stress, and that individual may decide to face the baggage head on and legitimately light the entire luggage of baggage on fire. Setting your baggage on fire metaphorically symbolizes putting a legitimate end to that baggage, by completing destroying it and eliminating it from your life. When you are able to completely cleanse yourself or any baggage by gracefully placing your baggage in a bonfire, the phrase “ashes to ashes, dirt to dirt, rest in peace, mother f****r” comes to mind.

While it is not always possible, learning to leave as much of your biggest baggage behind, or at least in your bottle of tequila. is an important skill to master, as you will often be faced with situations, in which circumstances do not allow for, nor do they forgive, using emotional baggage creating a roadblock as an excuse to be absent from obligations. miss deadlines, skip work, to name a few.

In order to enjoy and maximize your time away from the junk in your trunk, it requires one to switch their focus onto the task at hand, not letting the baggage affect your mood. engaging in activities that you enjoy, and being completely present. Similarly, while we all do our best to check our baggage at the door, or at the airline ticket stand, depending on the setting, sometimes it does help to discuss some of the emotional baggage that may be weighing on your shoulders, and perhaps, get some guidance.

Personally, I do my best to refrain from speaking too deeply about emotional baggage, or anything that may make me upset, and I try to invest my time fully into the task that I need to be focusing on. In addition, I do my best to try to interact with other people, because company is always great! It really makes me feel better to also invest some time in listening to other people’s problems and attempting to help them with some of their baggage, which helps keep me distracted and genuinely makes me happy to help others with things they may be struggling with. Kindness, especially unplanned acts of kindness, are a great way to uplift your spirits and assist in not letting your baggage penetrate your life. Similarly, no matter what happens. or how I am feeling, I do my best to stay positive and crack some jokes. Humor is great to lighten any mood and assists in relaxing. especially when you need to just want to escape your problems.

Therapy is great for unpacking baggage, especially the emotional baggage and childhood baggage. While it is difficult to speak about your baggage, therapy is one place where you do not need to truly prioritize hiding your junk in your trunk. In fact, therapy encourages bringing your baggage with you. This is a great feeling – while therapists cannot go out and actively solve all your problems, they are great with helping in brainstorming solutions, but they are even better at listening to you mindlessly talk in circles about “how annoying” and “ugh” this baggage is to deal with.

Every person has been bestowed with minimum 100 bags full of emotional baggage. One does not choose to have baggage, but it is not an option. As soon as you are fresh out of your mother’s womb and the nurses have swaddled you up, baggage is magically bestowed on you. As a fetus. baggage is only developing, and as the fetus begins developing, so does the complexity and the extremity of the baggage that will be your life. As a human, you do not even get the blessing of 3 milliseconds without the burden of baggage.

I do not know a life without “baggage,” and while this life chose me, I can firmly and confidently plead that I did not choose this life.

All I can do is drag my baggage wherever I go. On good days, I can trim some fat off the edges and lighten the load of my baggage, abandoning another Samsonite for someone else to pick up. On bad days, I forget how much of a full plate of food I have before me, and instead of lightening my load. I end up fostering some more adopted baggage that I am extremely eager to get rid of.

While baggage is heavy and baggage is “the worst,” it is important to recognize that even though it’s one of your most persistent stalkers that mentally checking out and leaving all your “drama,” or some of your reality, somewhere other than where you currently are right now is a healthy habit that every one needs to learn. As you begin to grow up and begin facing responsibilities, baggage is not a viable excuse to flake out, not perform, call out of work. miss a deadline, or disregard all of your responsibilities. While you may not be escaping your baggage in the most enjoyable way, such as through school, work, or exercise. it is important to be thankful for the momentary break and distraction you are able to engage in. Because, once you are done with your obligation, you most likely will unveil your baggage one more time. Cherish the time, where your reality has no baggage-less and truly focus on being mindful and ENJOYING YOURSELF. Take advantage of your time away from your dirty laundry, because you can always return to washing laundry again.

Take a deep breath. Let your body feel lighter. Lower your shoulders. Smile.

I imagine most of my baggage to be stored in a five-set Samsonite black mill-wheel suitcase set. The Samsonite suitcase sets provide suitcases of all different sizes and bulkiness, which accurately depicts the variety of sizes of baggage I seem to have hidden within my trunk. My bigger baggage is stored in a baby pink Rimowa Salsa Air Cabin Multiwheel luggage. Did you know my baggage is being stored in a limited edition Rimowa Salsa Air suitcase? I like. my suitcases like I like my baggage, or emotional problems, limited edition.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #23 – Be A Chameleonaire

Over the last week, I have taken a complete, thorough leave off of social media, my phone, social life, and blogging. This was as a result of having to make some fairly substantial changes within my life that I have been struggling to transition and to adapt to the way I would like to. In addition, this transition seems to be taking longer than I had expected.

My life has been a little stressful and overwhelming, as I am experiencing a time of transition and change – one that is positive and beneficial for me, but been quite difficult. While I have been enjoying every minute of it, and sometimes struggling to adapt calmly, I needed to realize my priorities and separate myself from social media, the Internet, blogging, my friends, my phone, among other aspects in my life.

During times of change and transition, which are completely inevitable during life, learning to accommodate the alterations of your life may consume your life, stress, and thought processes, in which you completely forget and disregard other relevant, or irrelevant, stressors in your life. Your life completely becomes consumed by the change happening around you and your focus barely leaves the attention of the “newness” of your life.

The “newness” of your life can be completely exciting, but it requires one to make changes and adjustments to one’s daily routine, priorities, and time-management.

In order to make a successful, and somewhat smooth, transition to the changes that you are incur during your life, it is best not to overwhelm yourself with the frustrations of having to make these changes in your daily routine. Having synchronicity and a sense of familiarity and comfort truly provides a sense of a security blanket, allowing one to build a daily routine, know one’s limits, know how to manage your time, and reduces one’s stress levels.

The process of adapting to change truly depends on the person, the timing of the change, the predictability of the change, the level of extremity of the change, and one’s willingness to want to make the change. Do not expect the journey of adaptation to take 24-hours, as it takes much longer to adapt to changes within your life.

You may find yourself frustrated, as you may find that you have to make extreme accommodations to your life and daily routines, which I find the most frustrating. In addition, it takes much more time to truly be adapted and feel comfortable with the changes you make within your life.

As adapting to changes is a process, you will begin to realize that while the journey may become more comfortable with time, there are many layers to adjusting and transitioning to changes. While you may have found some ease in some aspects of the change, making a full transition in all aspects of the change within your life may take years.

If only it was much easier…

The fascinating thing about change and learning to transition and adapt to any new aspects of your life is that adapting to new situations, circumstances, etc. occurs daily and more than we know.

No day ever goes PERFECTLY. In fact, every day, every individual must overcome some sort of hurdle within their day, whether it may be seen as big or small. These speed bumps are within our daily, regular routines, require one to make transitions and adapt to the roadblock ahead of them, in order to conquer this “change.”

Changes make anyone and everyone feel extremely uncomfortable, whether they show it, or express it, or not. Some individuals are great at masking their unconformability, frustrations, etc. when being faced with change. Others express their struggle to embrace change differently, or perhaps more visibly.

Adapting to changes, or being forced to make changes in your life, no matter who you are, is difficult. Changes bring out our greatest insecurities that may unveil some behaviors that are risky or unhealthy, changes in our mood, raise feelings of self-doubt, and have us feeling extremely vulnerable, insecure, and unsure. It is important, especially during the first few days, weeks, months, or even years, to be kind to yourself, and understand that we all internalize and process the idea of change at our own pace.

While it is easy to preach that having the best attitude possible towards the situation of change is the best way to handle it, it is not easy and you will, even I find myself, having a bad attitude, displacing my negative feelings onto others, acting impulsively, and engaging in self-doubt. I definitely fake it, even fight it, until I make it, at whatever cost.

But, while I secretly deep down possess a love/hate relationship with change, I believe it is one of the most beneficial experiences that one must go through.

During this journey of adaptation, you are able to learn a substantial amount about yourself. All the insecurities that you try to hide, all the walls you try to keep up, all the ways that you negatively cope with these changes, and all the ways you try to appear from being vulnerable or weak all reveal themselves. You must learn to test yourself and find productive ways to overcome these struggles, anxieties, and emotions. As, the longer you fight making adjustments to your life as a result of the inevitable, or inevitable change, the more difficult things may become for you.

And, yes, you will, whether you would like to or not, find yourself asking for help. No one wants to seem weak, clueless, out of the loop, etc., however, the only way to get through these times is to understand that it is okay to ask others around you for help. If you do not feel like you need help, simply asking a friend, trusted source, or opening up to just anyone can help alleviate your stress. Dealing with change is something that everyone can relate to, as nothing ever stays the same.

Personally, when change involves having to get accustomed to meeting new people, working together with those who are strangers, etc., I find myself struggling to adapt to overcome my own insecurities and clam up. I tend to isolate myself, which at times, makes me seem and come off as a nasty, shy, or catty girl. For me, adjustment serves the hardest when I have to encounter a new group of people, as I have found that I am an acquired taste and somewhat hard to understand, or perhaps relate to, especially when one first encounters me.

I, for one, hate seeming vulnerable, hate not coming off as perfect or professional, and sometimes, find myself suppressing my more humorous, outgoing side. So, often, when I first meet a new group of people, or a new person, I am often quiet and find myself observing those strangers around me, rather than focusing on getting acquainted with these new individuals. I would normally find this exciting, however, recently adjusting to meeting new people has become difficult for me.

For the first week of work, awkward, silent, and moderately funny was the approach I was going to take, as I wanted these new co-workers to realize that I am a hard-working, all while being taken seriously. I also, due to my own insecurities, took on a negative attitude of “why having to take on the burden of having to get to know 30 people who I will probably never talk to or hear from in five years,” so I decided to be negative, have an attitude, isolate myself, and change my whole persona. I felt those around me either confused, annoyed, and even not wanting to exert energy in even having to deal with this attitude and behavior. This was not successful, as I highlighted in my resume that I am outgoing and I am a team-player. Honestly, being cold-shouldered and not caring, is truly not who I am.

So, as the second week of work approached, I tried yet again. This time, I was going to try to take a chance, despite what my inner, negative thoughts were yelling at me. “This is work, it sucks anyways. Why waste energy to get to know these people? Just get into work and then get out.” But, I love to make the best out of everything, even long hours at work. Yes, work is work, but why make it more painful than not?

In this moment, I realized, “WOW! I am over thinking things. Just take a deep breath, accept the change, be awkward, and do not force anything out of myself or anyone that I do not want to. JUST CHILL OUT.” Instead of hiding my personality, or trying to pretend to be hardcore, I tried simply being vulnerable, asking for help, and most importantly, putting myself out there. Also, I needed to spend time worrying less about other people, worrying more about learning the job, and worrying about myself doing my job correctly. With that said, the rest would fall into place. I cannot change who I am, constantly going back and forth with how I want to present myself at work, so I just succumb to being the derp that I am.

Now, over the weekend of the second week of work, my true colors (the ditzy side of me, the more outgoing side of me, the less serious side of me, the weird side of me, etc.) began to show. The “little Ms. Perfect” act only worked for about two weeks, maximum. Now, I must say, even I was a little shocked by how quickly letting go of these negative feelings, over thinking, and all the toxic thoughts in my head, lead to me finally beginning to realize how quickly these adaptations could have been made, if only I had stuck to worrying about the important, more relevant things about transitioning to a new job.

Yup, to be real, my “little Ms. Perfect” persona was quickly murdered when I literally took a spill in front of one of my co-workers that I did not know very well and presumably gave a cold-shoulder to. Everything was going great, as I pretended to be perfect, to maintain composure and suppress my personality.

Here we go…this is what I call true embarrassment and revealing your most vulnerable side.

I literally slipped on a slippery and wet floor, as it felt like the concrete I was standing on was ripped from underneath me. I slipped on my butt, bruised every inch of my body, and knocked over quite a few many things. This was the moment when I decided to reveal my biggest secret of all: I am NOT perfect, I am very ditzy, I from time-to-time suck at life, and this is me most days. I am a human.

To say that my co-worker had tried hard not to laugh at me, as it happened so randomly, is an understatement. I am sure my cold-hearted exterior and negative demeanor made her hesitant to even crack a smile, as she had seen me crack, WHICH I NEVER LIKE PEOPLE SEEING ME DO. She just could not help it – “Finally, we see her in her true flesh,” she probably thought to herself.

She laughed VERY HARD, but apologized after laughing histarically and even in between every breathe. I am assuming, because she finally was able to capture a glimpse of the somewhat ridiculous and far-from-perfect person that I am. Whether she felt bad or not about actually laughing, does not matter. It was funny – she truly did not even need to ask if it was socially acceptable to laugh. In fact, I encouraged it. All this time I spent acting like I did not want to meet new people, make new friends, bond with others, and not seem perfect, all dissipated within seconds. I finally showed my true colors – I am not really the serious person, or whatever person, that I was trying to present myself as.

This slippery fall was the most painful reminder I have received in a while, as I have bruises everywhere to show for it, to remain true to yourself, not be so bitter, to not pretend like I do not make mistakes, to not make your life so much harder for yourself, etc. Most importantly, it taught me that being vulnerable and having fun at work is possible – also, there’s no need to hurt yourself in trying to present yourself as the perfect worker ever and isolate yourself from others.

No matter how hard you fight trying to be relatable, or trying to fight enjoying life, the gig will be up quickly.

Yes, you will take spills when you are experiencing changes, but yes, people will be understanding and are not trying to make things harder for you. Ask for help, especially when things are new to you. Take time to get to know your new environment. Open yourself up to new experiences. Learn that it will not be easy, but that is what others are there for.

While my new job occupies a significant amount of time, I have found that letting go of the animosity of having to make changes to my life and adjust to them has made it much easier on myself to process and transition much more quickly. Being open about communicating your thoughts and insecurities that you may be experiencing, while you are enduring these transitional phases of changes, is in your best interest. Not having a cold attitude, standoff-ish attitude about these changes, and realizing that it is uncomfortable for everyone, including your co-workers to also endure these changes, as there is once again a new employee, is also important. Getting acquitted with your new environment to the best of your extent and with a positive, outgoing mind is what is best.

An opportunity for change often leads to new experiences that you would have never come across if you had not taken a chance to take a leap of faith for change. Do not be afraid of the challenges, or fears, that may come of making a change to your life.

Change is difficult, can suck sometimes, but KNOW IT IS HEALTHY AND BUILDS CHARACTER. Allow yourself to be vulnerable during these times and get to know yourself a little better. Change is inevitable, however, there are ways to alleviate the stressors and anxiety that come of it. Remember, learning to adapt and transition to new situations, new environments, or even to new co-workers or to peers, is a process. Do not be hard on yourself.

The more experience you have to adapt to changes, the more accepting you will become of change.

Open your heart to some new experiences. It is much encouraged. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of courage.

Let life shake you up a little bit, and as Taylor Swift belts, “shake it [the insecurities, emotional stressors, negative thought processes, and animosity, as a result of the change] off.”

As my mother constantly reminds my father, “You are a chameleon.” My father has the ability to adapt to changes in environment, social situations, professional changes, circumstantial situations, or many challenges very easily and quickly accordingly, taking into consideration the thorough circumstances of the “change,” without hesitation or without a negative attitude. This is something I admire. In fact, it almost seems unnatural how accepting and willing he is to embrace change and how quickly he is able to adapt to and make solutions to any changes he may encounter. It is a skill that I truly admire, as he does it with ease.

[Take some notes]


Here are some noteworthy features of chamelone’s that may serve useful in embracing a chamelonesque ability to adapt to change:

  1. Be vigilant of your surroundings & use your eyes, in order to successfully adapt and assess your next move
    “Each eye of the chameleon can move independently… They have a 360-degree wide view arc of vision and are capable of seeing two directions at the same instance…When they lock down their vision on any object (let’s say a prey), both eyes are brought to focus offering a sharp stereoscopic vision. This gives them the ability to precisely gauge the distance and plan on the next move.” (http://www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/)
  2. Learn to adapt to situational circumstances quickly (however, changing the color of your exterior is optional)
    “Typically, the top layers of the chromatophores have either a yellow or red pigment while the lower ones have white or blue pigments. These four colors combine to give the chameleon the color it desires. While it was believed for long that this camouflage feature helps the animal to avoid detection in a hostile environment or while stalking its prey. However, recent studies have proved that the color change is due to variation in mood, temperature, and light.” (http://www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/)

Learn to be a chamelone.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade


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Sources

  1. “10 Interesting Chameleon Facts.” Chameleons as Pets, www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/.


 

Peep My Thoughts

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slow down. take a breathe.

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  ♦ W ♦ H ♦ E ♦ R ♦ E ♦

♦ I ♦ S ♦

♦ Y ♦ O ♦ U ♦ R ♦

 ♦ H ♦ E ♦ A ♦ D ♦

   ♦ A  ♦ T  ♦

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The first thing that comes to my mind these days is the idea of self-care. Self-care needs to be a priority in every sense of the word, as it always should be a priority. My definition of self-care is quite thorough, but I often find myself neglecting certain aspects of self-care that are not only important to my health, but necessary to maintain inner peace and happiness. Self-care also means allotting yourself time to relax and just do nothing – this is something that I often forget.

Self-care goes as far as making time to relax, practicing hygiene care, eating healthy diet, quitting smoking tobacco, smiling more, staying in touch with yourself and your emotions, taking even more time smile, learning to be alone, doing more thing that you love, staying in touch with close friends, drinking more water than I usually do, exercising regularly, staying away from toxic situations, prioritizing yourself, appreciating myself, and learning to find balance within your my life – honestly, the list goes on.


Life has so much to offer and you can make it really great all the time, if you truly want to. I want to take advantage of every minute, and be productive and do meaningful things all the time.

I am a passionate person and perfectionist that sometimes it inhibits my own views about myself, as well as my productivity.  I beat myself every day for not doing EVERYTHING I would want to accomplish, due to an overwhelming amount of passion and general excitement for my surges of creative energy and ideas. My passion sometimes serves as my biggest setback, as sometimes I often push myself too much and beyond my boundaries too an extreme where I am negatively affecting my mental, physical and emotional health. Sometimes my creative energy is off the charts and I am so excited that I get shook beyond belief. Then, I get debilitated by all these creative ideas or dreams that I want to follow through with so bad. Often, I fail to go out of my way to follow through with these goals to the very end, whether it is because I believe that the project will take too much time, or whether it is because it involves more focus, drive, time, and skills than I conceptualized, or whether it is because I believe I may not be capable of doing it. Sometimes, my self-motivation, drive and passion to complete a project or any obligation by myself ends up hurting me.

I need to learn to not let it completely consume my life to an extent, in which I become completely debilitated by my overwhelming amounts passion. I end up not being able to focus clearly, as my creativity runs wild, I have all these projects I want to complete, I lack patience, I seek perfection, as a result of my need for perfectionism, I procrastinate completely the project. Sometimes, I get so consumed by the idea of not being the best. not obsessing over ways I could be better, always knowing that you can produce better work, etc. While fear of not being perfect is a big issue and has lead me to do impulsive, irrational things, I never wanted to admit that it was because I want to invest my entire self into every project, piece of homework, every challenge, every hobby, etc. I truly struggle with this when it comes to things, such as school, grades, being very self-critical, trying to be the best person every day, a fear of not being successful, doubting myself, among other things that truly hold me back.

I have begun taking action on this area of myself I could improve on. I have decided the fear of rejection, the fear of not being the best possible version of myself and the the fear of not presenting myself perfectly to others not hold me back from taking risks. Putting myself out there has brought me some amazing opportunities I would never thought would come my way, however, I still deal with the anxiety, pressures, and insecurities within myself to present myself in the most genuine and “perfect” way. While it has been scary, I decided to truly exert the best efforts I could and can recently to take advantage of all the opportunities that come my way. This is important, because you should never hold yourself back. Reach for the stars by putting yourself out there.

Another struggle is to maximize my ability to time-manage properly, instead of procrastinating and coming up with excuses as to why you did not have enough time. Planning is important and learning to prioritize your priorities is an important skill I am working on. In order to maximize your days, setting weekly plans or setting goals is important in alleviating stress of living in constant chaos. Specifically, my time-management skills need to be centered around prioritizing maintaining a healthy balance of fun, self-care, responsibilities, and handling stressors. I often find myself neglecting one facet of my life, which does not allow me to truly reach my full potential. Having better time-management skills will only allow me to come across many opportunities that I have been trying to pursue, but keep coming up with excuses to set aside. In order to succeed or even accomplish any goals, I must be willing to invest the time and effort it takes to complete the project, or pursue my dreams. This may seem like a silly concept, as it is blatantly obvious, however, dreams can take months, years, or even a lifetime to achieve.

My last thought lingering on my mind is that one of the downsides of my life is that social media is a huge part of my life, as I spend most of my days on social media platforms. Blogging is one of my passions and favorite past times, which requires spending a significant time on WordPress. Similarly, I spend a lot of time exploring Tumblr, Instagram and Facebook for inspiration, which is also essential for pursuing my career goals and dreams. I have also chosen to pursue a career path that makes utilizing social media and spending an enormous amount of time on the internet a priority. While my laptop and my phone are necessary for me to pursue my goals and passions, I end up getting lost in the mix sometimes and it begins consuming my life, as it has a powerful hold on me. When I end up getting too consumed, sometimes I seem to forget to simply LIVE my life, as I live my life through my phone rather than being present. Many of my creative ideas, projects and goals encompass my blog and ways in which I could expand it, which requires me to utilize my technological skills and invest hours, days, and even months consumed by my phone. This can be very detrimental. Not to mention, while I am endlessly killing time on social media or on my phone, I find myself feeling more insecure, wondering what others think about the way I portray myself on social media, or I find myself comparing myself to others. While I use my social media to share things I feel inspired by, promoting my brand, communicating with others, stay connected with family, friends, etc., or simply just to just share something unsubstantial, I have found that recently my numerous hours on social media, or the Internet, has led me to need to take a break from constantly not being present in my life and focusing on what others are doing. I need to be focusing on myself, and while social media and the Internet, mostly serves as a way to find inspiration or find some answers, everyone is succeptible to the dangers of overusing the Internet or social media.


With that said, I have been practicing mindfulness, coloring, working full-time, being creative, spending time with myself, spending time with family, and overall, practicing patience. I have been trying to be kinder to myself and those around me.

I have also slowly been slowing down…

Slowing down has allowed me to think clearly, identify things I would like to change about myself, make better decisions for myself, prioritize my life, remain calm, be more attentive, practice positivity, engage in self-motivation, maintain a more grateful attitude, self-reflect, take risks, practice things that I have been trying to work on, implement ideas, goals, and projects that I have been thinking about, be kinder to those around me, be kinder to myself, and take care of myself.


More random thoughts…


♥ Why is it easy to get frustrated with myself and with life sometimes?


♥ Why does time fly when you are doing stuff that you love?


♥ Why doesn’t money grow on trees?



♥ When will I retire? Can I retire now?


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◊ W ◊  H ◊  A ◊ T ◊

◊ I ◊ S ◊

◊ O ◊ C ◊ C ◊ U ◊ P ◊ Y ◊ I ◊ N ◊ G ◊

◊ Y ◊ O ◊ U ◊ R ◊

◊ M ◊ I ◊ N ◊ D ◊

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Share any worries, thoughts, opinions, pieces of advice, life lessons, hilarious stories, rants, etc. that have been occupying your thought waves. I would love to hear what has been on your mind  💭💭

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #11 – Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Have you ever heard of the book Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff? This life hack is centered around the ideas that the book presents, as well as a helpful hint to living the best life you can. The novel written by Richard Carlson, PH.D. has written quite a few novels as well, including Handbook for the Heart, Handbook for the Soul, Shortcut Through Therapy, You can Feel Good Again, and You Can Be Happy No Matter What. These are all what most people categorize as “self-help” books, but I especially find Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff very introspective and very helpful in growing and learning about the world, yourself, and life.

The idea around the novel circulates around the idea that many of us, probably all of us, tend to overthink the issues surrounding us, and it provides helpful hinters for ways to make your life a little less easier to deal with, more fufilling, and most importantly, it is an interesting read. Honestly, it is a great way to find your humility again and find issues within your life that you would like to fix. Life is not about being easy, but finding ways to cope with these difficulties, or overcome your weakness, all while trying to enjoy every second of every painful, or happy, moment we are experiencing currently.

The novel includes 100 exerpts about how to avoid sweating the small stuff, because most of the things we stress out about are things that are so futile that they may not be as bad as they seem. Some of my favorite exerpts from this novel include the idea that we should think of our problems as potential teachers, and the idea of reading articles and books with entirely different points of view from your own and try to learn something. Life is a learning experience and we grow from all the challenges we face. Growing generally occurs during times of hardship, so correlating problems as potential teachers is a wonderful way of stating that our hardest times serve to be our biggest mentors. Similarly, in order to expand our horizons and become more open-minded, it is always incredibly useful to expand your own opinions and learn more about your points of view. Reading or analyzing a piece of work from the complete opposite point of view allows you to expand your mind and allows you to look further than your own personal views. You may even find out that you’re wrong, or may have a change of heart.

In addition, the novel includes a segment on being aware of the snowball effect of your thinking, whether it be negative or positive. I suffer from overthinking, and with the severe OCD, along with my other diagnoses I have, this chapter is very close to my heart. Due to my ability to overthink and spend too much time in my head, my thoughts can sometimes manifest into the most irrational states of mind and end up taking a very huge toll on my mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. I have even been put into a state of psychosis, as a result of overthinking. Being aware of the way you think and perceive things is important, in order to better handle the struggles or triumphs presented to you. Being aware of the way you think can serve as a very useful tool in the long run, as you can learn ways to think healthier or more realistically.

Another segment in this novel that amused me was the idea that one should imagine themselves at their own funeral. While this may seem almost suicidal, or unhealthy, thinking about your own funeral does not directly indicate these things. Knowing that one day you will have a funeral held for you may serve as a motivating factor to live your life to the fullest, as well as cast an idea of the kind of funeral you would like it to be. When you imagine yourself in your death bed, you do not want to regret the time you spent on Earth, because you sweated the small stuff too much. This therefore interferes with your ability to do the things that you truly wanted to before you died. Imagining your death to a certain extent places your priorities in perspective, as you do not want to be lying in your death bed full of regrets of “what if’s.” Your hypothetical funeral can serve as a reminder of the life you want to live and your priorities.

In addition, the book spends time acknowledging the importance of kindness, especially towards strangers, spinning it as a coping mechanism for dealing with stressors. It is important to always pass on as much love and kindness onto others, even when dealing with a hard time, or an uncomfortable situation. Kindness and love trump stress always, and sometimes we all forget this while we are cooped up in our own world. They also serve as a wonderful distraction to sweating all the small stuff in our lives.

The more you dig deeper into this book, the more you begin to realize how much growing there is still left for you to do and understand.

Generally, the small things we sweat, whether it be a breakup, relationship problems, family problems, friendship problems, financial problems – they are all a lot smaller than we generally tend to perceive them, as our own stressors become magnified when we are experiencing them. Of course, it is important to encounter stressors in order to fully learn how to cope properly and find the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how hard life gets.

Sweating the small stuff, however, teaches you how to measure the degree in which the situation should be prioritized as a stressor, which will serve as a lifelong skill, as you begin developing the skill to adapt and react to stressors more easily and productively.

While stress is one thing that no one wants to deal with, every single human succumbs to feeling of stress daily. In fact, we all generally wake up and quickly are reminded by our stressors, whether we realize it or not. So, make sure to cherish your sleep, as this is one time when you truly get to spend time not obsessing about your stressors.

These introspective thoughts and ideas manifest themselves into bigger ideas, allowing you to dig deeper into your own self than you truly imagined.

This novel has become one of my favorite novels, as I used to have my father read it to me as I was a child. It was not up until recently when I hit a wall, not sure to how utilize my life skills to keep growing and learning. However, this novel serves as a constant reminder that there is always room for us to all grow and learn. While this is a self-help book, I enjoy the aspect that it highlights that the idea of “imperfection” is relevant, as no one is perfect. As you begin to let go of these stressors and ideas you manifested, you begin to learn to not resist your problems and stressors, that your life will continue moving on.

Give this novel a read and keep it around, whether it be in your backpocket, your backpack, or just in your bathroom. It is a great read and helps keep life in perspective. Not to mention, when you feel like your life is spiraling out of control, it may help you find some grounding and serenity within your life. I have learned so much from this novel it is hard not to reccommend it to those around me, and though some tips may not be easily implemented in your life, they do help tremendously.

This life hack is all about avoiding sweating all the small stuff, as well as recommending that you purchase and read this novel.

Remember, “it pays enormous dividends if we learn not to worry about little things. So many people spend so much of their life energy ‘sweating the small stuff’ that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life” (Carlson, 8).

Do not lose yourself to the stressors of life, remember just like life is beautiful, so are you. Remember to look at the big picture and try not to get too lost in the maze of stress.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

P.S. I have attached a link to the #1 New York Times Bestseller right here: Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…dont

Starting Fresh

Sometimes, you just need to rip the bandaid off and just accept your life circumstances, whatever they may be. Sometimes, this requires eating the biggest slice of humble pie, and other times it requires you to indulge in the biggest slice of real pie. However, you cope with it, sometimes you need to “start fresh.”

How can you “start fresh” when you are still exactly where you were two minutes ago, questioning your life, you may ask. My response is by letting go, releasing some tension, realizing your reality, and by having a good, positive attitude about it.

I am ripping my bandaid off really quickly, and starting fresh and having a better outlook on my current life circumstances. I am also letting go, or working on letting go of some old demons, and doing some personal cleansing myself. I have an even lighter perspective on life, as I realize I cannot change many circumstances that life has handed me recently.

Sometimes, you need to be beat down for a little bit to pick up your game – NOT LITERALLY OF COURSE. Life has it’s ways of showing you it still cares for you, through small daily reminders you may not catch. But, sometimes it showers a little harder than you anticipated.

Sometimes, I wish I could change the weather to match my mood and excitement, and recently, I figured out that I could not do that. I forget sometimes that Spring should be full of rain and downpours, literally and figuratively. I honestly wish I could change a lot about my life sometimes, but then I realize that a time machine is impossible and realize that our experiences make us learn special, individualistic things, unique to each and every one of us.

So, coming to terms with things can be difficult at times, and may make you hesitate at the thought of giving life your all. That is okay. Similarly, coming to terms with your current reality is something that may take months, years, even centuries. And, that also is okay. We all take as much time as we need and go through the motions of acceptance at different paces. Some of us linger, some of us do not linger. In addition to accepting life, we also need to take it on with a good attitude. All these steps amount to a sudden realization that your reality is your reality, in addition to, having a profound interest in wanting to make things better for yourself.

Sometimes, we lose track of our happiness amidst all of our problems. And, we forget to kick life in it’s ass. Sometime,s we all even need a shakedown in order to achieve this new, positive way of thinking.

Having a brand new attitude about your current, stable reality will bring a whole new light to your life, and allow you to think beyond your comfort zone. I promise you will start feel like a brand new person, and like your whole world is your oyster. It is a great feeling. Starting fresh with a new attitude, a rested mind, clear head, and a positive attitude is an awesome way to start every day. So, why not make that possible for yourself? Do not let yourself be held back from life’s beauty and its’ endless opportunities.

Whenever you come across this post, I invite you to take a minute to rip that band aid off, start fresh, and begin with a new attitude. You will feel like the best version of yourself. You become more willing to take risks and are able to look beyond your circumstances and problems, some of which are easily fixed. Similarly, you will want to make the initiative to make things better, or to bring more change into your life. These are at least my hopes.

If you can handle even most of the most heartbreaking experiences with a smile left on your face and a clear, healthy perspective, you have already won the game of life. Some days it may not be easy to accept your life, and some days you may feel stuck. Do not let yourself get stuck, by giving life your all even on the days where it is hard to leave your bed. You better start believing that a whole new attitude and a simple perspective change will lead to eternal glory and happiness. You will not regret it.

Leave that old attitude behind, and join me in starting fresh.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #5 – The Power of Positive Thinking

Even on your hardest days, positive thinking and actions are always encouraged. It’s true life gets difficult, forcing us to dig even deep down within us to even find the positive in your life. Positive thinking may be difficult on even the best days, as it’s easy to complain and forget to count our own blessings. But, we are human.

Today, I encourage you to continue to dig deep and challenge yourself. I find that I am most positive when I am giving something new a try, or simply just challenging myself. Trying something new to me is something that truly challenges me.

Lately, however, life gave me a shock up my spine; things got difficult and I had to find lots of courage and strength to get through many of my days. Finding small, unique positive aspects of my days were really important to me and helped the days go by much quicker and happier.

I feel that when you are challenged and in difficult situations, you realize how much even the smallest things matter to you and it truly forces you to become a more positive version of yourself. Even the smallest things these days make me happy. The hard times allow you to truly become the grateful, positive version of yourself you want to be, as you recognize all the beautiful things that you took for granted the last few days.

I promise you though, that a positive way of life is much more meaningful and fun version of living. Why not find the light at the end of the tunnel and make it possible for your life to be better and more meaningful? A constant state of complaining, and an unwillingness to want to make things better is not a relevant way of living these days. Similarly, positivity challenges you, forcing you to think of good thoughts and radiate positive emotion, rather than letting your brain get flooded by negative thoughts.

Negativity is an inevitable part of life, but a willingness to make things better and better yourself is key. You can be extremely successful being negative – do not get me wrong, but do you want to live like that?

When life really challenges you, it really does rain and pour. But, instead of approaching it with more negativity try combating with positive energy. The way I see it the more you are positive, the more positive outcomes that will come of it.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #4 – Remember to R&R

What does R&R stand for? Let me answer that question for you. It stands for rest and revive.

Our bodies, which are constantly in motion and working to keep our precious bodies healthy and happy, need time to rest and revive. This is why getting the proper amount of sleep and rest is particularly important. We, as individuals, are programmed to fatigue sometimes, when we are overworked, not getting enough sleep, or not getting sleep at all.

Though we all say that we can sleep when we are dead, this is something that could especially become detrimental towards our health. Studies have shown that without the proper amount of rest, not only are we unable to revive, but we find ourselves gaining weight, losing weight, getting groggy, and getting grumpy. It even from time to time affects our ability to memorize and remember things.

Resting plays a large role in our body, and in order to be that happy and healthy versions of ourselves, we need to be resting every night.

Some days sleeping just does not cut it, in fact, some days I find myself exhausted even after a good night’s sleep. This is our body telling us that we either are stressed, overwhelmed, and perhaps not treating our bodies correctly.

Taking time off, or away from our rigorous schedules, is something that we unfortunately cannot do very frequently, as most of us are in school, or at work all day. It’s truly hard to find time sometimes to rest and revive.

Every day, I try to take about 30 minutes in the morning to revive my system after a night’s rest. I usually simply lay down and look at the not-so-empty walls of my studio apartment, thinking about how lucky I am that I have found time to relax.

Taking a small portion of your day, morning, or afternoon, or evening, to simply just unwind and seperate yourself from your daily stressors plays a huge role in feeling more rejuvenated, happy, and healthy.

We all need to rejuvenate sometimes, and you truly should not be so hard on yourself, if you just can’t seem to move out of your bed. In this fast-paced society, catching a break is truly hard, and sometimes, it leads me to believe that we should all have a vacation period at least once every few months.

Though taking breaks is frowned upon by society, it is one of the most vital ways to stay sane and happy. The idea that we, as individuals, have to constantly be in motion and working, or doing something, is absolutely absurd. I understand the need to want to make the best out of our lives, however, taking time off to relax and revive will leave you in a much better headspace.

Recently, I took a break from school, friends, and even from my full-time job. And, man does time go by fast when you are resting and reviving. Similarly, I also took time to be away from my phone, another stressor that does not allow us to rest and revive ( I actually just broke my phone yet again). I currently am taking a break from all these stressors and simply focusing on reviving myself to get ready for another year of grueling activities.

There’s always time to rest and revive. And, if you’re struggling to find some time to rest and revive, then I would suggest reconsidering your work-load, your personal life, and other aspects of your life that do not seem to be allowing you this freedom.

Take a breath every once in a while, and just breathe. Even if it is only for ten minutes, making time for R&R is underrated, and unacknowledged.

How you spend your time resting and reviving is all up to you, as everyone has different ways they spend time unwinding. I try to utilize my free time journaling, blogging, coloring, hiking, practicing photography and/or napping.

How do you R&R?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade