Life Hack #35 – Lost?

“Follow the yellow brick road,” they say.

“Take the road less traveled on,” they also say.

But, whichever you decide to follow or travel on, does not guarantee finding your way. This is because no matter who you are, how successful you are, your gender, your race, or your age, we all, as humans feel lost.

There is a certain aspect of the unknown that comes with being alive, which leaves us feeling full of busy minds and uncertainty.

The truth is that no one really ever feels like “they have been found,” and that we are all lost.

As humans, we love to make appear as though we have it all figured out, but even the most organized and successful individual is struggling to find their unique destination.

We are all in this together, as we all continue to battle figuring out the mysteries of life, our life purposes, how to find our place in this world, etc.

No one really knows what they are doing. Some days, we are taking chances. Some days, we stick to what is comfortable. Some days, we wonder what we are doing. Some days, we are wondering if what we are doing is what we really want to be doing. Some days, we feel stuck

This happens to everyone at every age. We are more alike as humans than we even think!

We all want to live our best lives and get to a place in our lives where we feel complete and utter stability. For some reason, the idea of stability is closely correlated with a life, where one is not, or will not feel, lost.

The destination of “found” is once again an imaginary, utopia that our society has created.

There will always be days, months, or even years where you will feel lost.

In order to supress feelings of uncertainty and feelings of being lost, human beings react by distracting themselves, either by getting involved in the community or activities, picking up hobbies, getting a job, going out to bars and making friends, using applications, such as Tinder, Bumble, etc., attending school, and even by engaging in self-destructive habits and negative coping skills.

The feeling of feeling lost, not belonging, and feeling completely and utterly confused, is not a very comfortable feeling. We all react towards these feelings differently, both negatively and positively, depending on the individual and the nature of the situation.

The future and the constant pressure that society, as well as yourself, put on yourself to find a place in society, in order to feel secure, is sometimes so intense that it becomes immersing your world.

You truly begin questioning yourself and struggling to find the confidence to make your way through your life, without constantly being clouded by pressures, doubts, anxieties, stressors, and situations.

The most comforting feeling to me, who constantly finds myself feeling lost and trying to find my purpose in life, is knowing that this feeling is something that is familiar to everyone.

I have learned to take advantage of finding various outlets that allow me to be able to connect with others, feel involved, and make me feel good. Doing these things and doing them as much as often allows me to somewhat alleviate these feelings of uncertainty.

Utilize the buddy system in life, and bond, connect and find outlets with other humans, coping mechanisms, and hobbies, that can allow you to feel apart of something that you enjoy.

We are all just trying to find our place in the world, and we are struggling to combat these feelings of feeling lost.

Whether you chose the yellow brick road, or whether you take the road less traveled on, you will stick find yourself lost.

The real question is where is our destination?

And, is there really a final destination that we are all going to reach sometime, even if we have decided on a destination?

Let me know what you think in the comments below ✨🌟🌙

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #34 – Take Notes

I love taking notes, and then color-coding them, and then perfecting them to the closest thing to perfect.

I tend to only be this meticulous with taking notes and absorbing information when I am in class.

Taking notes, and I mean literally writing, or typing, down notes, reminders, or information that you should retain is especially important.

Outside of class, there are a million reasons why you should be taking notes, mentally, but most importantly, physically taking notes. Beyond the fact that human beings are incredibly forgetful, human beings are incredibly talented at making mistakes, and even ignoring important details. Taking notes can save you from a lot of stress, inconveniences, and trouble, all which are things that we do not enjoy.

My favorite way to keep track of my life, and every aspect of my life, is to jot down a to-do list. I also love to use planners and calendars, and the more, the merrier. I own at least three calendars and a handful of planners that I love to use, mostly for fun.

I did not used to be like this.

In fact, a few years ago you could not catch me taking notes or using a planner, especially for fun. There was a time when I thought all these tasks were simply unnecessary and a waste of time. Boy, I was wrong!

Beyond to-do lists, planners, and calendars, when I am absorbing directions or instructions of any sort, or am receiving important information that I would like to access and be reminded of easily, I am quick to grab a pen and a pad of paper. If the information is successfully transferred onto a piece of paper that I keep somewhere safe, the information is able to be accessed with ease. Most importantly, the information that you are accessing is correct, accurate, and untainted.

All human beings, including myself, are guilty of lying to ourselves that “we will remember that thing that we thought kind of hard about writing down.” This results in more stress and more problems, as you are forced to construct a semi-accurate version of the information. Your version of the information is simply based on how much you absorbed the information, your ability to listen intently, and your memory. The chances of your almost-accurate information being correct is more often low rather than high. While your version of the information is not a lie and may convey “the same idea,” it is not and will not be correct. Most commonly, while the big picture of the information may have been received, individuals tend to miss the details, which are the important parts.

Taking notes is especially pertinent for those trying to pay attention to details.

Details are hypothetically smaller than the bigger picture. Human beings are all guilty of forgetting the details, or ignoring the details. But, the details are just about the only time that we should be paying attention. Instead of absorbing the details, we tend to focus on the bigger picture and are unable to appreciate, or even acknowledge, the importance of the details. Not knowing the details of any situation you encounter most often  results in mistakes, more trouble, etc.

We are all human, so we are allowed to make mistakes. But, do not let that be your excuse for not paying attention to the details of anything. It is important that you learn how vital it is to recognize the magnitude of importance that details, or skipping details, play in our lives.

Accuracy and meticulous tendencies, such as taking notes in important, information-filled situations, is extremely beneficial things that one should practice.

Even with meticulous tendencies and over-alert awareness for paying attention to the details, one can forget the details.

Can you blame them, though?

Details are just so small, and our society celebrates and promotes the concept of “the bigger picture.” Once again, the small, minute details of an otherwise bigger picture are overlooked, as if they do not play a huge role in the creation of a bigger picture.

Within a bigger picture, one can find one big picture. One can also find hundreds of small, minute details that come together to create the “bigger picture,” in which you are staring at. Without the small, minute details, there would be no bigger picture. Or, the bigger picture would just be a blank, white canvas that looks just like the others.

From experience when I am beginning a new job and am learning all my job duties, and all the details behind my duties, I always grab a pen and paper to jot down any notes, or information, that I find important, I feel is emphasized, or I feel as though I may forget.

Let’s just say that I take a lot of notes.

Just because you are taking down notes does not mean that you do not have a good memory, or that you cannot handle life. It just means that you have accepted the fact that our ability to go beyond listening, or pretending to listen, to information and actually proceed to process, acknowledge, remember, and implement every single task correctly without any reminders, or without forgetting, is not as great as we would like to believe.

We all would like to remember every little thing without having to take notes, or make reminders, details and all. But, this is simply not realistic.

Write down everything if you so please, especially if it is going to assist you in retaining information accurately. Our brains can only remember so much!

Most of us have had our entire lives, minus our infancy, to practice taking notes.

Let’s take it outside of the classroom, how about that?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #33 – Patience & Persistence, My Friends!

Words that start with the letter “p” are generally quite silly, like poop, party, play, penis, and pajamas, but two words that start with the letter “p” that are far from silly, include patience and persistence.

Patience and persistence are two qualities that are not only important to learn, acknowledge, and practice in life, but are the keys to success, eternal happiness, and fufillment.

When I think of success, patience and persistence are the two words that follow the idea behind success.
In a utopian world, success would be something that was much more attainable and accessible to all, allowing people to achieve success without even having to endure hardship, hardwork or failure. Success could be attained in a blink of an eye, without having to master the qualities of patience and persistence.

It does not matter how long I have lived, or been around the block, patience and persistence are genuinely rare qualities to find in people, as many people do not initially possess the qualities of patience and persistence. I do not believe that these qualities are innate, but rather are learned, practiced, and acknowledged over a period of time.
Sometimes, I truly believe that individuals have no idea what being patient even means, let along persistent. Patience and persistence take years, sometimes even a lifetime, to truly master, or to truly engage in regularly.

In a society that prioritizes the ideal of success, I am here to tell you that success comes to those who truly are patient and persistence in their art. Change, or even desireable results, do not happen overnight. In fact, it takes weeks, months, and even years of persistence and patience to often produce the favorable, successful results that you yearn for so bad. Even then, you may never see the favorable results that you were always expecting and dreaming of.

While the answer to achieving success does not ONLY involve patience and persistence, these two qualities are some of the major factors that play into the level of success that you can achieve.
Patience is necessary, because as I mentioned above, growing success, or success, does not happen overnight. Sometimes, success can come to you all at once, allowing for an enormous amount of growth and successful results, however, a constant rate of growth and success is just not possible. At some point, the progress may seemingly come to a halt, as the amount of success that you just experienced is something of the past and the results that you work so hard for are just not cutting it. You may feel like you hit a plateau, as you find yourself stuck with the same, or similar, underwhelming results day-in-and-day-out.
Hardship, or times that seem unfavorable, are necessary for individuals to learn the quality of patience. You need to experience struggle, frustration, anger, or some emotions, about a situation, a business, a statistic, etc., in order to fully grasp the concept of being patient, or else you are not doing it right.
The idea of patience is that no matter how frustrating, difficult, or uncomfortable things may get, or may seem, that you are able to keep trying and keep working hard every day, understanding that you will not experience the benefits of your hardwork immediately, despite the fact that you may be frustrated, uncomfortable, and emotional about the way that things are turning out. Patience truly tests you, as the idea of patience encompasses maintaining consistent reactions to both good results and bad results.
Instead of immediately giving up on my blog when I did not see the results that I wished for, only after three weeks of creating it, I learned that with patience I could slowly begin working towards more favorable results, by continuing to post regularly, or iregularly, and simply giving it time.
As we all know, Rome was not built overnight.
Patience combats the idea behind satisfying your ego immediately, and instead forces individuals to work and to wait for the satisfication. In a society that thrives on immediate gratification of one’s ego, patience is often forgotten, not practiced, and not understood by the majority of the population. This is ironic, as life is all about learning to patient, with situations, with people, with life, with education, etc.
Patience can be applied to every aspect of your life, from health, to careers, to success, to learning, to education, to relationships, to friendships, to pain, to hardship, etc. It should be applied to as many aspects of your life as possible!

Perserverance is another very strong “p” word that resonates very highly with my soul. Perserverance is the act of keeping pushing on, despite any bumps, dips, or potholes in the road. Despite what life may throw you, deciding to keep trying is the definition of perserverance. I describe perserverance as “fighting the good fight.”
Perserverance is SO important to learn, practice, and acknowledge in your lifetime, as it can be applied to every aspect of your life.
Life is infamous for throwing people curveballs that come from left-field, and while we cannot always prepare for the worst and prepare for battle, learning to practice the act of perserverance is a very important lifeskill that you do not want to miss out on.
Perserverance, while similar to the idea behind patience, is different than patience, in the sense that perserverance encompasses the idea of “continuing to take stabs at something,” no matter what the circumstances may be. Patience more focuses on maintaining a sense of calm, without complaints, or loss of temper, despite how outside forces may be erupting or affecting your life, your mood, or patience.

While patience is more closely associated with maintaining a cool temper and overall demeanor, especially during times that seemingly make you want to completely want to give up, and perserverance is more closely associated with acting persistently, despite any hardships, difficulties, etc., patience and perserverance sometimes seem like they could be the same thing! I believe that these terms are so closely associated with each other that you can not be patient without persistent, and you can not be persistent without any patience. They truly go hand-in-hand, especially when expediting the journey to success! With patience and persistence, an individual can truly reach their potential, and then some, as these two traits are the fundamentals for achieving success, or even simply achieving a goal.

It sometimes may seem like throwing in the towel, or otherwise getting upset, irritated, and losing your temper, may be the answer, or the easier answer. But, easy does not get you very far in life and produces results that are less fufilling than results that one has perservered and been patient for.
The phrase, “Finally, all the hardwork paid off,” comes from a lifetime, or maybe less, of engaging in perserverance and patient behavior.

Practicing patience and practicing perserverance is not easy by any means, and for someone who has been told that I am patient and a fighter, I even know that I could be A LOT more patient and perservere through so much more than people give me credit for. Personally, patience and perserverance have been some of the most difficult qualities to emulate, because it requires a lifelong commitment and lifelong practice.

Even the most patient and persistent people find themselves engaging in inpatient and inpersistent behavior, during times of hardship, struggle, and discomfort.
While we are all not perfect and will fall victim of throwing in the towel, I encourage you to actively and genuinely make an effort to practice these two values! They will serve as beneficial in the long-run, and you will not regret it!

P A T I E N C E  &  P E R S E R V E R A N C E  A R E  M Y  V I R T U E S .
What are your virtues that you like to go out of your way to practice and embody?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #30 – S/O To My Squad

Celebrate and shout out your fellow cheerleaders, or your support system, and do this regularly! You can never celebrate and uplift your personal cheer squad too much, as their existence in your life deserves infinite amounts of celebratory praise and appreciation. The more that you continue to acknowledge and to truly appreciate the positivity that their existence brings to your life, the more love and the more growth that friendship will begin to experience. Similarly, the more love and the more appreciation you begin to show the members of your personal cheerleading squad, the more that this individual will begin to shine and the more that this individual will begin actively exuding their best qualities, whether you notice this or not.

Everything about displaying appreciation for your support system presents positive benefits, even if these benefits may not be clearly visible for you to see.
Individuals tend to exude their best qualities and be the best versions of themselves when they are presented with positive, kind reminders of the great things that they bring to the table. In short, individuals tend to react much more positive to positive reinforcement, which can come in the form of compliments, daily reminders, etc., than they react to negativity. This is self explanatory, as human beings are programmed to respond and react in a more positive way when they are offered incentives, such as compliments, gifts, etc.

While it is nearly impossible to actively address every single one of your personal cheerleading squad with appreciation every day, however, it is incredibly important to enforce acts of appreciation for your support system, at least once a week. Tending to your support system is similar to tending to a garden; if you do not water the plants in your garden regularly, or proceed to take care of this garden, the plants in your garden will slowly begin decaying. If you continue to neglect taking care of your garden, it will result in a garden full of feeble, weak, unstable, rickety, and fragile decayed plants, which are far from accountable, let along desireable. Further neglegance over the care of your garden will result in a environment full of weeds, which will only further complicates your life by adding unnecessary clutter that you do not even want to deal with. The goal of a garden is to create an oasis, in which all of the plants are happy, healthy, strong, and stable, which are all adjectives that should describe the members of your support system. Just like your garden, you want your support system to consist of accountable, hearty, and unwavering individuals, as a strong and capable support system allows for the best opportunity for an individual to flourish and to blossom.

The foundation of one’s success rate begins with their support system, or their personal cheerleading squad. The stronger the foundation, the more stable and powerful the support system is.

A support system does not come together in the blink an eye. In fact, casting cheerleaders for your personal squad can take years and try-outs are held numerous times a month, sometimes a day. Try-outs are relentless and you will come across many desireable members for your squad, however, not every member that you cast will end up sticking around. Some cheerleaders that have made the cut for your squad initially may possess the skills and the foundation to be an excellent member of your squad, however, not every individual has the ability to mesh well with your cheerleading squad. As a result of extensive the selection process that goes into the casting process of your permanent cheerleading squad, you will encounter many temporary members, who may cheer for your team only for a short amount of time. This means that you will often find many individuals to quit the cheerleading squad, only supporting you for a temporary amount of time. These individuals are not necessarily “bad,” however, it just means that this individual just may not be the best fit for your cheerleading squad. As a result, their long-term participation on your cheerleading squad is simply out of the question. Some members of your cheerleading squad may serve shorter sentences than others who may hold a more permanent place within your cheerleading squad.

We are always changing, as our lives, so it is only natural that only a small percentage of the potential squad members are able to make the squad every try-out, as the nature, essence, goals, and priorities of the cheerleading squad is constantly changing. The permanent place-holding cheerleaders possess the qualities, patience, acceptance, and attitude to conform, and furthermore, support the cheerleading squad with their utmost ability. Not every cheerleader will possess the skills to successfully mold into the needs of the cheerleading squad, all while providing other benefits to the cheerleading squad that help the squad grow, succeed, fail, struggle, and fight. The ones that possess the love, patience, acceptance and support to hold a permanent place on your cheerleading squad time and time again are the individuals that you should never forget to shower with love, compliments, kindness, compassion, joy, and support. These people that constantly drag their booties to every life event and stand on the sidelines constantly rooting for you to succeed and to win are a rare breed, and should always be kept close to your heart.

Just like your cheerleading is constantly looking out for your best interest, it is important that you reciprocate the favor, by also tending to their needs, wants, and their best interests. After all, you do want your squad at their best, mentally, physically and emotionally.

I guarantee that all the members of your personal cheerleading squad will personally appreciate it, as it is not only polite and kind to treat people as they treat you. People will begin to lose motivation to actively work their bodies to ground for someone who either fails to acknowledge or appreciate all the good that you are doing for them. Within every functional relationship, the idea of a two-way street is always evident. It does feel nice to be recognized for your kind deeds and honest intentions, even though kindness and honest intentions do not require acknowledgement.

It is very important to get to know your personal fan-base. You should seek to form relationships with each and every member of your current squad, as knowledge serves to be a beneficial facet of building the most successful squad for your current reality. By forming personal and intimate relationships with every member of the squad, you can identify strengths and weaknesses, personalities, etc. within your squad. With this information, you can further work to mold your dream squad to showcase their utmost strengths.

Intimacy within a team of any kind functions at its’ most effective pace when members are motivated to work together. A motivation to work together sprouts from knowing, and therefore, trusting the people that have your back. It is safe to conclude that one’s ability to actively and effectively work with others closely is an important aspect in concluding whether or not they are fit to be apart of your squad. Members of your dream team should feel comfortable working with other members of your cheer squad to further benefit you, or otherwise solidify their support system.

It is much easier and comfortable living your life, knowing that you have an entire cheerleading squad behind you, rooting for you and supporting you, in sickness and in health. While it is fundamental to find support within yourself, individuals tend to experience more successful outcomes when they have a strong support system that is willing to work with you, and all your unique needs, wants, comfortability, strengths, weaknesses and your personality and behaviors, to develop a unique, effective cheer routine that caters to your unique existence, your current priorities, needs, and wants, in order to execute the routine in the most successful and most accurate way that they are able to, in order to make you happy, support you, and bring you success and happiness.

You should treat the members of your hard-working cheer squad like they are your family. Your cheerleading squad does not always have to include members of your family, however, it is important to recognize that your cheer squad is your non-biological family. They are very important forces in your well-being, happiness, etc.

No amount of reciprocation of kindness is ever too much. Throwing a themed party to celebrate and appreciate all the members of your metaphoric backbone, or spine, should be mandatory for all individuals, as we do not celebrate people’s existence nearly enough within our society. Your spinal chord, or your support system, is a very important part of your body, as it holds more responsibilities than the President of America. It is so important to take care of your spinal chord – I would even recommend spoiling your squad, especially the good ones. You know who they are!

Pampering and spoiling those you love is not a crime. Showing someone how much they mean to you speaks louder than words, and you should never take advantage of these permanent members of your cheerleading squad. These permanent place-holders on your squad do more than tolerate your existence. In fact, being apart of someone’s support system, or truly caring for another human being, is a full-time job. Their time is so valuable – do not waste their time and energy failing to acknowledge how much they do for you, whether you notice the good that they bring or not.

The way you choose to express and to celebrate every member of your support system is up to you. The size or the grandiosity of the gesture hardly plays a role in how thankful that individual be with your graceful act of appreciation. A little does go a long way, in this case.

Do not be afraid to celebrate, to enjoy, and to appreciate all the good humans that work very hard to keep you happy, healthy, and strong.

SPOIL YOUR RIDE OR DIE HOMIES. IT IS NOT A CRIME!

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #29 – “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it”

Alice from Alice In Wonderland infamously states, “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it.”
This may be one of the most relatable quotes from a Disney movie that I have ever heard.

The issue that Alice is addressing is the issue that our wisdom and our advice often is correct, however, as humans, we often avoid implementing and acting on our advice and wisdom. It is not fair to say that we often waste our advice on ourselves, as we often steer clear from ever listening to ourselves even though we would like to help ourselves.

We are often full of good advice and valuable wisdom that should be utilized to further better ourselves, further better our lives, further better our perspective, etc.

Implementing the piece of advice that you have set forth for yourself, or for others, is much easily said than done.

I do not know about you, but I would rather be giving advice, useless or useful, than actually going out and acting upon these realizations.

Acknowledging the advice that you have either received from yourself, or others, is the first step towards making changes, so one can eliminate the issue that required your unsollicited advice. However, if you just stop at acknowledging how much your life would get better, if only you would just follow through with acting on your advice, you may find yourself at a standstill.

Advice requires action, or requires one to make adjustments and changes, in order to fix or change the part of our life that required us to seek advice in the first place.

“Practice what you preach,” is a relavant phrase for those to acknowledge, especially those who are often found handing individuals, or themselves, advice, solicited or unsolicited.

From an outsider’s perspective, individual’s who are often caught handing out their advice seemingly appear like they have all the answers in the world, or possess some sort of access to this unlimited wisdom that allows them to live their seemingly perfect lives, with the utmost composure. It almost seems like they have all the answers in the world.
Yes, they may be flawed, but they are able to present themselves in such a way that makes them seem like they can handle any situation that life throws at them with grace, without the assistance of advice.

This perception of “wise individuals” is highly incorrect, as we all struggle with life, we all seek advice, and we all have so many unanswered questions. Life is an never ending lesson and we will never stop learning, growing, and gaining more insight into life.

As a blogger that often gives out advice, or shares life experiences, I am often faced with the perception that I always know what to do, how to handle myself, and that I know my way around life a little better than most. This is far from the truth, as I am constantly learning, growing, and seeking advice.
Furthermore, while I truly attempt to follow my own advice and be the best version of myself, I am a great example of someone who fails to actively take their own advice, especially in times of need.
Sometimes, it honestly feels better to throw yourself a pity party than to actually follow through, or even listen to, your own advice. Ignoring my own advice is something that I find myself struggling with at least 100 times a day, which is a lot of time spent ignoring rather than simply just listening. Out of the 100+ times a day that I ignore my advice, or the advice that others give me, I only listen to advice, help, etc. of any sort only 3% of the time, which is a small percentage of the time.

Why we chose to often ignore our advice truly depends on the situation, the person, the person’s willingness to change, self-doubt, the idea that ignorance is bliss, etc., The reasons are extensive and unique to each and every individual, so it is incredibly difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of our ignorance.
Sometimes, we even bask in the glory of engaging in our own pity parties, without making any attempts to make changes, even though you may be aware that something within your life needs to change.

I am full of good advice, old and new clichès, and life lessons from personal experiences, my peers, and the Internet. With all this access to advice and wisdom, it is truly a surprise how adamant we are on not listening to the advice and wisdom that is so clearly abundant within our own lives. Advice and wisdom can be found in even the most random of places, and you would be surprised how much wisdom and information you are able to soak up in just 24 hours. You are constantly gathering information and making observations about life, other’s lives, and your life, both consciously and subconsciously. We are much more wise and intuitive than we even know, or can even conceptualize.

Making judgement calls about how to handle the advice that you have been given, and possessing the ability to closely examining how the real life situation can be altered, or otherwise improved, with the assistance of some outside wisdom, requires an individual to know “right” from “wrong.” Our definitions of “right” and “wrong” are unique to each and everyone of us, however, there are a handful of things that are considered either “right” or “wrong” that are universally shared within communities, or religions, or cultures, or societies. Actions that are considered “right” are celebrated by society, and actions that are considered “wrong doing” result in punishment. These ideas of “right” and “wrong” are upheld by society, the government, etc., and these ideas are constantly being enforced and reaffirmed, whether we realize it or not.

When applying a judgement call to a situation, it is important to recognize what parts of a situation are working for you, or bringing forth benefits, and which aspects of the situation are only bringing negativity into our lives, or otherwise making our lives much harder than it should be.
Judgement calls are often done without even consciously realizing it, as the concept of “good” and “bad” are engrained in the way that we think and make decisions. Some situations may require more thought and consideration than other situations, but once you are able to properly assess the nature of a situation that may be troubling you, a quarter of the battle has already been won.

A lack of awareness of the way a situation may be affecting you, either positively or negatively, can be dangerous thing, as situations that are negatively affecting you may suddenly take a shape of its’ own, without you even realizing it. Even if life seems to unfolding right in front of your eyes, I have found that it always seems like everyone, but you, are able to thoroughly identify how a situation may be affecting you. Your peers, or an outside perspective, are able to actively witness and observe from a distance, however, often when you are right in the heart of a situation, it is incredibly difficult to truly grasp a thorough understanding of the severity that a situation is affecting you.

Often, we may blame our lack of motivation to make changes, or accept advice, whether it is solicited or unsolicited, on a lack of awareness. Most of the time, I have found that individuals often exhibit a lack of willingness to accept a situation for what it is, or pretending to prefer existing in a state of denial, is the most popular reason for individual’s ignoring advice and wisdom, even if it is coming from ourselves. As human beings, we are much more intuitive and sensitive than we even give ourselves credit for. A state of denial is incredibly dangerous, as individual’s become set on fighting their current reality. It is very easy to fall into a state of denial, as many situations that we are often in denial about are situations that are somewhat personal to us, or spark some sort of emotional reaction within us.

Most individuals are great listeners and truly attempt to implement the advice they have received into their current reality. In fact, most individuals have the best intentions, but get tripped up when it comes to the actual implementation of the advice. Every person will interpret advice differently, as advice can often be applied to more than situation. As a result, the way that an individual incorporates the advice they have been given in order to make changes in their life, differs from every individual. Similarly, an individual’s levels of enthusiasm to implement changes to their current reality, all while taking into account the advice they received, varies from person to person, as well as from situation to situation.

I believe that most individuals do not actively mean to ignore advice, but what we fail to realize is that, for an individual to fully recognize the advice that they receive, the advice must be relayed to an individual more than a handful of times.
Throughout your entire life, you could hear the same advice, or thoughts that others have about ways that you could grow, learn, and improve, but you could also go your entire life without even accepting, and therefore, implementing, the advice.
There are many reasons for this lack of ability to fully utilize a piece of advice, but the main reason is that often other aspects of an individual’s life are distracting them from processing the advice. Another reason behind a lack of implementation of advice includes that other facets of an individual’s life are more important to them, and as a result, this piece of advice that is repeated to them their entire life is never truly acknowledged, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO THAT PERSON.

Advice and wisdom from outside sources should always be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes, advice and wisdom comes from a place that does not look out for your best interest, or is based off of dishonesty. The source of the advice and the wisdom is a factor that one should take into consideration, all the time. The advice and the wisdom, if it comes from a dishonest place, may not serve any benefits for you, and may even end up hurting you.

Do not shut your ears and your eyes off to the advice and the wisdom that life constantly offers us, even when we do not want it, or are not seeking it. It may end up being more helpful and useful than you could ever imagine.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #28 – Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, Will I Ever Have A Spouse At All?

“Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, Will I Ever Have A Spouse At All?”

Both, ladies and gentleman, this is the lifelong, eternal question that haunts individuals of all ages and genders, including those who may already have a spouse. This is one question that tends to infiltrate the minds of all individuals, as marriage, or at least having a significant other, or being in an active relationship, is an aspect of life that all cultures tend to regard as something of high-priority.

For some reason, across many, if not all, marriage has become regarded as an aspect of life that cultures have regarded as essential in sealing the fate of living a full, storybook, fufilling, and happpy life. In fact, not being married, among many cultures (as I do not want to generalize), is considered abnormal and is in some cultures frowned upon.

Across a wide variety of cultures, marriage has become a standard practice that individuals feel as though they must engage in, due to societal pressures. Whether one’s reasons behind marriage, include societal pressures, misconceptions that unmarried people will live unhappy lives, planned marriages, or just the prominence of marriage within a society, marriage, or finding a life partner, or being in a relationship with someone, are notions that constantly haunt the minds of all individuals.

With that said, word on the street is that marriage is wonderful and extremely fufilling. Many say that it is also very fun and that it is an incredible experience to be able to spend, what seems like an entire lifetime, with a single individual, sharing a lifetime of unforgettable memories, whether they be good or bad. The idea about being in a relationship, or sharing parts of your life with a special someone else, can be equally as terrifying as it is exciting.

The part about letting someone into your world that is terrifying is the fear that once someone truly gets to know you and sees who you are behind closed doors, open doors, slightly open doors, locked doors, or unlocked doors, that you may face rejection. These so-called “flaws,” or aspects of our vulnerable self that we exhibit in many different elements, that will appear in time, may end up resulting in a relationship, or a commitment to someone, disappating.

To a certain extent, every human hides certain characteristics that they may not be proud of, that they may not understand, or that you simply may not be aware of at first glance. These “flaws,” or fundamentally unique facets of other’s personalities, tend to appear after a length of time, often after an individual begins feeling comfortable. While we all attempt to hide these aspects of ourselves that may give strangers, or simply others, a reason to question, pick at, or poke fun at, for as long as we can. Unfortunately, maintaining a facad forever, without showing any signs of vulnerability, including emotional, physical or mental aspects of vulnerability, is simply impossible. In time, you will end up slipping up, or slipping out or your clothing, and you will end up feeling naked and afraid.

The part about love, marriage, falling in love, getting in a relationship, developing a crush, or even showing interest in someone, that is extremely exciting is the idea that you have a support, unless this relationship is completely toxic and abusive, or at least someone to lean on, to hang out with, and to share memories with. It is a very exciting feeling when two individuals are able to come together, no matter how long the relationship carries on, and engage in being vulnerable with one specific person. It feels incredible, because you feel as though your relationship with this person is completely unique and seperate. It also allows you to get to understand, love, and divulge into someone’s life, as you get to be apart of something even more special. The times you share together always seems special, especially when the love is there. It is crazy that in some sense their world also becomes yours, as you feel each other’s emotions and become apart of each other’s lives. The relationship that you share with each other is obviously different than the relationships individual’s share with their close friends, family, pets, best friends, coworkers, etc., as you begin sharing intimate parts of your life with each other. It is just a truly wonderful feeling to know that, regardless of the circumstances, the way the relationship may or may not end, etc., that there is someone, who you are able to share your world with, be yourself around, spend infinite amounts of time together, and make everlasting memories with, that is standing by your side. When you are feeling lonely, sad, or just plain struggling, it can be extremely comforting to know that you have a special someone who is willing to help you out, who loves you, and who wants the best for you.

Becoming intimate and integrating your world with someone is extremely terrifying for me. While the idea of having a relationship and being able to share the world with someone sounds amazing and is something I idealize, this idea also truly scares me and my fear of letting someone in, all while being completely vulnerable, has led to many failed relationships. I am the queen of “almost relationships,” as I have always claimed to be anti-relationship. “I DO NOT WANT TO BE TIED DOWN,” I claim. “I need all the freedom in the world.” Some other excuses include, “what is the point if I am not marrying them?” Or, maybe try, “I do not want to get hurt, because that is a waste of time.”

I have a million excuses and then some more. I claim to be realistic about relationships, when in fact, I am just a little insecure about showing my raw, most genuine self to others. Showing my raw, most genuine self means that others may see, view, criticize, or judge me, the way that I choose to look at myself. I do not have poor self-esteem, per-say. However, I am a severely hard critic on myself, and as a result of me prioritizing my everlasting need to be the best version of myself as much as possible every day, I am afraid, judgemental scared, and insecure about myself when I am not at my best self. This overwhelming need to outwardly and inwardly be my best self is a great “flaw” that I am grateful for, as it assists in keeping me focused on always growing, improving, and to prioritize self-reflection, however, the severity of my irrational fear to allow others to experience facets of myself that I am not even comfortable with, nor do I enjoy witnessing or showcasing, often holds me back from truly allowing someone to get to know me a little deeper. Instead of pulling someone closer, or inviting them inside my reality and existence, I have a consistent track record of finding ways to successfully drive potential personnel’s of interests away by engaging in emotionally immature, or self-destructive, or simply just reckless behavior, in the hopes that these horrible defense mechanisms will push them away. Not only does it end up hurting myself and the other party, but I am often left with a heck of a lot of embarrassing stories, a lot of people who are either unhappy, worried, ashamed, disappointed, and confused by my behavior.

My behavior often varies, as I begin inching away. Sometimes, I will turn to going out with my friends constantly in order to distract myself from the other individual. My favorite behavior to send boys running for the hills is to go out of my way to showcase my ability to be a “party animal,” making reckless decisions and trying to showcase the idea that I am “insane,” “untameable,” and “not girlfriend material.” While I do an excellent job posing as a young adult whose full-time profession is to party, I am actually far from being an “insane party animal,” though in my younger years I could say that I excelled in that area of expertise. Other ways to push individuals away include overbooking my schedule, by getting as many jobs as possible, finding as many hobbies as I can, or basically avoiding them by filling my days with non-stop work and responsiblities, so I can make it seem as though I do not have time for them. One last great way to prevent yourself from ever “settling down,” or being apart of a relationship, is to always “go for” the individuals who are unavailable, whether it be emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, or even as a result of distance. This last tactic is a great way to trick yourself into thinking that what you are pursuing is indeed exciting and fun, however, it gaurantees no need for permanent emotional attachment, or what others would say, any permanent commitment.

This includes myself. I often cringe at all the opportunities in which I held myself back from an opportunity to share a real connection with someone. Sometimes, I wonder if I repel boys, just like mosquito repelent repels boys. I mean I still run around saying that boys have cooties. If they truly have cooties, however, I would like nothing to do with the male race, especially when it comes to dating. I am a HUGE germaphobe and I do not want to contract them.

This fear of not wanting to get hurt, not wanting to get intimate with someone if it will result in pain, heartbreak, or sadness, or not wanting to get involved if this relationship is not going to last forever, are all fears that we all face, whether or not we realize it. For some this fear may not be as relevant, or may not be as severe as some others fears of intimacy, however, the fear will always be there for both parties and all individuals.

A relationship ending or coming to a close, even if it is civil, sucks for everyone, including the person who broke off the relationship. For starters, post-relationship is quite difficult, as you have a lot to adjust to as you begin navigating the world without your partner in crime. A relationship ending brings up emotions that can be correlated with rejection, which always hurts. Not one human being can ever say that being rejected feels good, which is similar to what the end of a relationship feels like. It is not easy to feel these emotions, all while learning to let go of a part of you and re-learning to live again. Often, those in relationships, while this may be general, spend a handful of time with each other and often form routines, hobbies, etc. without even consciously acknowledging these things. It is hard to tell whether letting someone into your life is less painful than letting someone out of your life.

While relationships are often sought after in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, this person could be the “one.” The “one” is the presumable spouse that you will marry, as a result of undying love, undying appreciation, undying support, and undying will to fight for one another and argue with each other. This one person is the one person that, once you tie the knot with, you plan on spending the rest of your life with, through the thick and thin, and through sickness and through health.

As we begin growing older, the question of whether spousehood is in your future seemingly becomes more and more apparent, as we begin witnessing those around us, peers and strangers, tieing the knot, or even shooting out babies from the sky. Do not let the pressure of others actions begin to affect your happiness, well-being and inner peace.

According to a random fact I read on Twitter a few years ago, around 75% of 16-year-olds have already met the person that they are going to marry. I am not quite sure that I believe the statistics behind this study, however, the pressure to find your lawfully wedded husband or wife has certainly become a prominent value within many cultures and societies. I, myself, even find myself wondering for hours on end whether or not marriage is in the picture for me, let alone if I will ever be able to experience a relationship so profound that I am willing to set aside my fear of letting my fears, guards, insecurities, and flaws out in the open for a special individual. This is a scary thought for me, because I am very flawed. While my intentions are often good and come from a good place, the actions and behaviors I engage in from time-to-time are often misunderstood, frowned upon, and sometimes I go too far. For someone to have to see me at my worst frightens me for that person, not as much for myself, as I have witnessed myself not at my best many times. While I may know and be familiar with these behaviors, or flaws, these flaws and behaviors that I try so hard to hide from the world are completely unfamiliar to that special someone, as your flaws, behaviors, and insecurities may cause them to become frustrated with you, may cause a fight, or may result in the end of a relationship, or perhaps a marriage.

Even for those who have been in plenty of relationships, or perhaps a handful of very serious ones only, the idea of whether or not the person that you may or may not be interested in, in a relationship in, or married to, is the one.

While I am no expert at love, let along relationships or marriages, I am aware of what a budding, beautiful and healthy relationship looks like. Admist your overworking brain constantly wondering what your marital status will be and/or who you marital partner may be, do not forget to live in the present and try to grasp every opportunity for a healthy, strong, and motivating relationship with someone, even if you do not end up dating. Even if things end up being extremely casual, do not pass up every opportunity, as a result of closing yourself off by assumming that this person is not “THE ONE.”

The complicated part about finding “THE ONE” is that it does in fact require individuals to kiss many frogs, in order to accumulate the values, beliefs, and morals that you would like to uphold within a relationship. There is no need to make a list of createria of the exact traits that an individual must possess in order for you to even consider breathing next to them, however, having a generalized idea of the kind of individual you are looking for can assist you in avoiding those individuals that may not end up being exactly what you are looking for. Finding the “perfect person,” while there is no “perfect person,” requires a lot of experimentation, just like mastering baking a cake takes a lot of experimentation and practice.

The idea of the “perfect one” is unique to each and every person, as not one person is looking for an individual with all the same qualities as another. We all have our unique tastes, our unique personalities, our unique preferences, etc. While individuals can have similar taste in what they are looking for in their significant other, not one will ever have the same exact taste in individuals as you. This makes the dating, or marriage, world extremely incredible, as well as incredibly difficult to manage to find someone who can so carefully understand you, love you, accept you, and want the best for you.

A sidebar: a “perfect person” will not always do perfect things, however, what makes them perfect, or “THE ONE,” is that person being able to manuever, balance, push, argue, celebrate, love, and show care towards your entire being. Not every tactic this person may use, or not every facet of their personality or their existence, will ever be perfect. This is something that we all need to understand. However, when you find “THE ONE,” and I am sure you will know it, you will realize that their perfection comes from the ability to manuever past the imperfections, without growing exceedingly hateful or spiteful towards each other. This kind of manuevering and relationship dynamic requires strong building blocks, as well as a deep understanding of not only their significant other, but themselves. While you may share a fairly similar world, in a relationship, both parties should have their own seperate existence, without becoming co-dependent on eachother. Relationships often go awry when couples begin merging every aspect and facet of their world around each other, completely neglecting themselves and losing touch with their own identity. Boundaries, honesty, self-love, kindness, humor, and compassion are some of the many features that are essential for a budding, fufilling and happy marriage and/or relationship.

While these questions have begun haunting my mind, soul, and body, I have come to terms with the fact that instead of constantly looking around for “THE ONE,” I need to prioritize looking for “ME.” While I am looking for me and living for me, I am learning to be more in-tune with my true-self. With that said, every relationship begins with yourself. Jumping into a relationship, especially if it is serious, when you are truly unhappy, unsure of yourself, and lack an identity, will end up in turmoil. So, while you may be single and ready for a pringle, or perhaps a Jared diamond ring, spend time getting to know yourself and finding happiness within yourself, because if you spend your entire lifetime searching for someone to make you happy and to tie the knot with and you die unmarried, then you will have died unhappy. Instead of chasing the idea of marriage, let the idea of marriage come to you.
Do not just meet an average guy, who may bring you average happiness, who understands you on an average love, but does not truly make you happy, comfortable, excited, and full of butterflies. Instead, keep your standards high, because you do NOT want to be spending your life with someone who ends up making you miserable, or just does not make you happy. You do not want to spend the rest of your life thinking about how much better your life could have been if you had not married your “average spouse,” nor do you want to spend your life regretting the decision you made in haste in order to fufill a societal timeline, or societal pressures.
Marriage requires patience and the experience is not for everyone, but keeping an open mind is always a good idea, because you never know when you can be swept off your feet.

ALSO, STOP PLANNING OR FOCUSING SO MUCH TIME FINDING YOUR NEXT SIGNIFICANT OTHER, OR A SPOUSE. The most natural, strong, and fruitful relationships and marriages that I have witnessed occurred out of the blue, as you should not try to control an aspect of your life that really should be left up to fate. In addition to this, making a lifelong commitment to someone is no joke, AS IT IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT and NOT A TEMPORARY ONE. Do not rush the process, but feel free to ponder it.

This applies to relationships, as well, whether they are serious or casual. Do not rush into anything that you do not think you are ready for, but also do not hold yourself back by not attempting to make an effort. While a failed relationship hurts, not ever giving it a shot would hurt the most. The pain of a failed relationship sticks for a while, but without that relationship, all the good memories (and, there are always amazing memories) would have never existed.

Relationships, and therefore marriage, are both complex matters, involving the subject matter of love. I may not be an expert at intimacy, however, I am learning and growing. With that said, I am also learning to be patient with myself and realize that not being in a relationship does not make me any less of a person, nor does it make me any less happy than a married individual. With time, I believe that the right people will come along, and I hope that I can find the courage to not hold myself back for fear of truly investing time, emotion, and energy towards an individual, who MAY NOT BE “THE ONE.” How would I know if I do not give it a chance? Life is all about learning and taking chances, so take a leap of faith and try something new.

For those who are in a rush to get married for all the right reasons, I am so happy for you and that you were able to find your “FOREVER PERSON.” That is truly an incredible feat and I am so happy that you are able to spend the life doing what you love, WITH THE PERSON THAT YOU LOVE AND WHO LOVES YOU RIGHT BACK.

FOR ALL YOU SINGLE HUMANS OUT THERE, STAY PATIENT, STAY LOVING, STAY YOURSELF, STAY BEAUTIFUL, STAY SMILING, AND STAY BREATHING BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT MORE TO LIVE FOR OTHER THAN FINDING YOUR FUTURE “FOREVER MATE.”

If you need any consolation about whether or not you will be spoused up before you die, just look yourself in the mirror and ask, “mirror, mirror, on the wall, will I ever have a spouse at all?”

Do not worry – the mirror will not respond to you. But, your reflection will be staring right back at you.

Wondering where I am going with this? Your reflection, which is yourself, if all else fails, will be the one you marry.

Stop fooling yourselves into thinking your single, when in fact, you are dating yourself since you were a baby. As a result, it is only natural to marry yourself. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS YOU BEST AND WHO HAS KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST.

So, if you are feeling like not taking a risk, try just marrying yourself.

I will not judge you.

I like me, too.

And, may plan on marrying myself…

With that said, with marriage being such a influential aspect of human life, do not stop getting wed, humans!
You know why? Because, weddings are more fun than the party in Project X.

While the consumation of marriage is a beautiful thing, the after-party is definitely the more beautiful aspect of marriage.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade


P.S. Do not worry, I understand how exciting the idea of marriage is, especially spending a lifetime with a person that is the light at the end of your tunnel, that compliments your existence, that brings you life, that understands you, and that you can spend every waking moment with making memories with. The best part? You get to live your life with your partner in crime, who you know nothing can tear you away from, because they are just that incredible to you. THIS IS VERY EXCITING AND LOVE IS VERY EXCITING. But, give it time, give it love, and give yourself some love too ♥

Also, never forget that while the idea of dying without ever getting married before you die, even if you so badly wished to be married, does not mean that you will die alone, unhappy, and without experiencing someone loving you to the core. Best friends and family will always love you unconditionally and that is something that you should never forget. Even better? Love yourself right back, then you will never go an entire lifetime without ever feeling the reciprocation of love.
Loving yourself right back to your core is the greatest gift of love that you can give yourself, as well as to others.

Love, while it is a tricky thing, is a very powerful force in our universe. Sometimes, “THE ONE,” (YES, THE “PERFECT ONE”) may not end up being the one you end up marrying, or once again, you may just die without ever having been wedlocked. Understand that marriage, or at least a happy, healthy, and strong marriage, is a very difficult concept and act to be apart of. It should be taken very seriously.
Marriage requires more than the fundamental of “love,” because sometimes, two people who may be completely and utterly in-love with eachother and who want the best for each other, may not end up working out for the long-term. This does not mean that the love was not ever present, or that this relationship was a waste of your time. You may never fall out of love from this person, because this person may have truly been the person that you could truly see yourself settling down with for an entire lifetime.
For some reason, while the love was there, and honestly, it seemed like everything was there, some relationships just do not work out for the long-run. Those are the heartbreaking ones and the ones that truly wreck your world, because it almost seemed like nothing was missing, or the relationship felt completely effortless.


With that said, do not ever give up on love. Not just relationships, marriages, or flings, but the act, idea, and power of love. While love some times tears people apart, love has the power to bring so many individuals together and is the binding force of individuals universally. Love does make you do some crazy things and that is something that every soul should appreciate. These acts, fueled by the intentions of love, are contagious, and of course, extremely powerful.

Live your life following the love brick road, not the yellow brick road. You may never know, you may even end up in Kansas.
That would make life too easy for us, which would be no fun.

According to the word on the street, love can be found in only the strangest of places, so chances are you will probably not find your “perfect love,” or “forever love,” or your future spouse, in a very obvious place. This will require you to do some exploring, some adventuring, some digging, some traveling, or for those of you who are a little freaky, a little stalking.

Let the love come to you, unless you are exceptionally talented in seeking for love which is hiding in the strangest of places. If this is truly one of your skills, then I suppose seek for love in all the strangest of places, but love is not an easy one to find. I will warn you of that! She blends into the world better than a chammolione. All you camo freaks, forget it. Love wears Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak 24/7, 365 days, so love will not be in plain sight for you to find.

Since we have resolved that, focus on manifesting love and channeling it into your life. You may not find a spouse, but you may be ten steps closer to finding a lifelong partner.
(There are no statistical numerrals to back this claim up, so take it with a grain of salt).

Life Hack #26 – Flake Less

“Flake less. Don’t flake off.”

What I mean by this is that you should attempt to flake out on plans as little of times as possible. Following through with your plans, obligations, or any responsibilities for that matter is one of the best qualities that an individual can have – Not to mention, it sends clear signals that you care. Sometimes, it is understandable that we are unable to make obligations or plans, due to outside factors, but making this kind of behavior a negative thing can make it difficult to maintain stability in any aspect of your life. Being a flake sends clear messages that you do not care and that you’re not accountable, which has many repercussions.

Flaking out on plans, or not being consistent, is hurtful, annoying, and can add on unnecessary amounts of stress onto you.

I can say with conviction that I am a flake. Honestly, it is one of my worst qualities and truly hurts others around me. I can make excuses all I want until I die, but no amount of excuses in the world can make up for how frustrating it is for people to get ahold of me, let along try to hang out with me.

In order to avoid being “that flake,” it is important to understand your schedule, your stress levels, and your energy levels, as well as your tolerance to handle hanging out with another person. Similarly, it is important to make sure you take into account your mood, so you do not end up flaking on plans, due to mood swings.

Don’t make plans unnecessarily – this tends to be my problem, as I would love to make time to spend time with all my loved ones as much as possible, all the time. Be realistic and try to make plans in advance, which are the plans that are harder to flake out on.

Be a responsible planner and allocate your time wisely. Also, be sure to take into account the people whose time you may be wasting when you flake out on plans. In addition, you may be hurting someone’s feelings when you do this, as cheesy as that does not sound. People who go out of their way to make plans with you, do this because they genuinely would like to spend time with you. Obviously, if this is not the case, perhaps flaking out on plans may be in your best interest. If someone is investing their time and their excitement to spend time with you, do not let it go to waste. If plans fall through, try to make it up to them.

If you are planning to flake, and you will know when you are not going to end up leaving your bed, be honest and try to notify as in advance as possible. Try to at least be a respectful flake!

For those who cannot help but be flakey, try to convey this message to others and let them know that you are working on getting better with following through with plans and that they should not wait up unless you confirm the plans. I try to let people around me know this, so at least it is on the table. Likewise, if you are just not truly feeling up to it, let them know honestly. There is no need to come up with some big, elaborate lie.

Striving not to be a flake applies to all aspects of your life, including your professional and academic lives.

Being a flake is selling yourself short. Do not be a short flake – it is not cool.

xo.

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #24 – Spice Up Your Life

Every once in a while, it is good to shake things up in your life, even if you do not feel comfortable doing it or lack the enthusiasm to do it. It is always good to keep your eyes peeled for new opportunities to grow, love and laugh, and keep your heart open to new people, places, and habits.

You may surprise yourself with how much happiness keeping an open mind and heart can bring into your life.

Some new opportunities, including opportunities for new friendships, opportunities for growth, opportunities to smile, opportunities for new memories, opportunities for a new job, etc., may scare you at first, but try to keep an open mind and heart. It may take you a little bit longer than you would like to allow some new and extra spice in your life, but I promise you will not regret it. If this new opportunity does not end up seemingly benefitting you in the way that you had hoped and imagined, you have the ability to learn from this new experience and learning is always important.

While the synchronistic aspects of life are truly important and should always be celebrated, you can always add some more “spice” to these synchronistic aspects of your life, which often only heightens the enjoyability factor of your life.

Recently, as I began adjusting to new aspects of my life, weaving through all the ups-and-downs of getting acclimated, I decided to open my heart up to a new person, who had been extending their joy and happiness to me. I was hesitant at first, as I have found myself to be a creature of habit and seemingly can be close-minded to change.

The funny thing about my hesitation was that this individual seemingly had caught me off-guard simply due to her genuine kindness and happiness, giving me no substantial reason to ever question her intentions or her kindness. Even if I attempted to nit-pick at this human being, she seemingly gave me no real reason EVER to question or doubt her.

So, after much speculation and thought, I decided to stop letting all my irrational fears cloud my head and let some new friendships into my life. I forgot how exciting new friendships are, especially when these friendships are with people who are super outstanding and genuine people! I forgot how exciting it is to learn from other people’s simple presence and their own attitude; sometimes these new people who you let in can be inspiring. They may even inspire you to grow a little bit and their exceptional personalities may be motivating to be around, as they may serve as gentle reminders to be better versions of yourself.

This happened to be the case with me. After deciding to open up my heart a little bit more and try a little bit harder to embrace these new opportunities, I ended up beating myself up for not taking advantage of the beautiful, inspiring blessing and friendship right in front of me. It is not every day that you come across a genuinely humble, positive, good-humored, kind and loving human being that is also patient. This kind of kindness, patience, and humility was inspiring for me to see. In addition, it was particularly refreshing to come across an individual that possessed so many qualities that I respected and admired to an extent where I felt inspired to keep growing. Allowing my friendship with this person to grow and letting her into my life a little more was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Encountering people, who have literally become a source of motivation to grow and change, and ultimately, learn from, is an incredible thing. The more you surround yourself with individuals, who serve as inspirations and motivators for positive behaviors and personal growth, are individuals that you need to surround yourself with more. With that said, you can always learn a lot from another person, so do not withhold yourself from that blessing and gift.

This is the beautiful thing about opening your heart up to new experiences, or some spice, as you may end up surprised with the results of your decision. It may leave feeling grateful that you decided to be more open-minded, loving, and accepting, as you would be full of regret if you had never given this opportunity a chance.

My reasoning behind my lack of acceptance towards love is based on my own self-doubt, insecurities, and fear, but how can you spice up your life if you never give spices a chance? It is okay to be a little reserved and protect your heart, but sometimes I take this too literally and run with it too far. There’s no need to build The Great Wall of China around your heart, soul, and personality, in order to “protect” yourself, your feelings, and, in a sense, isolate yourself. Sometimes, being too reserved or protective of yourself can turn out backfiring on you, as you begin religiously closing yourself off to new doors and opportunities. Old habits do not open new doors, opportunities, or spices. With that said, you are essentially declining the offer to engage in the activity of living your life to its’ fullest extent by intentionally choosing to hold yourself back.

Life already withholds us back from certain opportunities, whether it is due to circumstances or mistakes we have made, so do not allow yourself to become somewhat victim to living your life “safely,” constantly exposing your palette to bland food. Expand beyond salt and pepper, because there is a whole ‘nother universe outside of salt and pepper. Try something new – it is not every day that spices come your way. When the opportunity presents itself, and you have access to some spices, allow them to expand your palette and enjoy it. Your first bite may be confusing, overwhelming, or even bad, but do not let that discourage you. On the other hand, your first bite can be completely life-changing, super good, and totally tubular. Maybe you won’t be able to get enough of it. Once you have played around with spices enough, you begin to get the hang of spicing up your life and can begin mastering certain aspects of utilizing spices. The key is allowing yourself to accept the spices that are handed your way – if you never allow yourself to experiment with the spices you have access to, you will never know what could come from using them.

Allow the spices to take over the entire meal and your entire palette. Let the spices do what they are supposed to do and let them manifest their own destinies.

Do not ever disregard a spice, or an opportunity to spice up your life, before allowing yourself to taste the spices.

yess

The rules are simple – broaden your palettes and be prepared to spice up your life!

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #23 – Be A Chameleonaire

Over the last week, I have taken a complete, thorough leave off of social media, my phone, social life, and blogging. This was as a result of having to make some fairly substantial changes within my life that I have been struggling to transition and to adapt to the way I would like to. In addition, this transition seems to be taking longer than I had expected.

My life has been a little stressful and overwhelming, as I am experiencing a time of transition and change – one that is positive and beneficial for me, but been quite difficult. While I have been enjoying every minute of it, and sometimes struggling to adapt calmly, I needed to realize my priorities and separate myself from social media, the Internet, blogging, my friends, my phone, among other aspects in my life.

During times of change and transition, which are completely inevitable during life, learning to accommodate the alterations of your life may consume your life, stress, and thought processes, in which you completely forget and disregard other relevant, or irrelevant, stressors in your life. Your life completely becomes consumed by the change happening around you and your focus barely leaves the attention of the “newness” of your life.

The “newness” of your life can be completely exciting, but it requires one to make changes and adjustments to one’s daily routine, priorities, and time-management.

In order to make a successful, and somewhat smooth, transition to the changes that you are incur during your life, it is best not to overwhelm yourself with the frustrations of having to make these changes in your daily routine. Having synchronicity and a sense of familiarity and comfort truly provides a sense of a security blanket, allowing one to build a daily routine, know one’s limits, know how to manage your time, and reduces one’s stress levels.

The process of adapting to change truly depends on the person, the timing of the change, the predictability of the change, the level of extremity of the change, and one’s willingness to want to make the change. Do not expect the journey of adaptation to take 24-hours, as it takes much longer to adapt to changes within your life.

You may find yourself frustrated, as you may find that you have to make extreme accommodations to your life and daily routines, which I find the most frustrating. In addition, it takes much more time to truly be adapted and feel comfortable with the changes you make within your life.

As adapting to changes is a process, you will begin to realize that while the journey may become more comfortable with time, there are many layers to adjusting and transitioning to changes. While you may have found some ease in some aspects of the change, making a full transition in all aspects of the change within your life may take years.

If only it was much easier…

The fascinating thing about change and learning to transition and adapt to any new aspects of your life is that adapting to new situations, circumstances, etc. occurs daily and more than we know.

No day ever goes PERFECTLY. In fact, every day, every individual must overcome some sort of hurdle within their day, whether it may be seen as big or small. These speed bumps are within our daily, regular routines, require one to make transitions and adapt to the roadblock ahead of them, in order to conquer this “change.”

Changes make anyone and everyone feel extremely uncomfortable, whether they show it, or express it, or not. Some individuals are great at masking their unconformability, frustrations, etc. when being faced with change. Others express their struggle to embrace change differently, or perhaps more visibly.

Adapting to changes, or being forced to make changes in your life, no matter who you are, is difficult. Changes bring out our greatest insecurities that may unveil some behaviors that are risky or unhealthy, changes in our mood, raise feelings of self-doubt, and have us feeling extremely vulnerable, insecure, and unsure. It is important, especially during the first few days, weeks, months, or even years, to be kind to yourself, and understand that we all internalize and process the idea of change at our own pace.

While it is easy to preach that having the best attitude possible towards the situation of change is the best way to handle it, it is not easy and you will, even I find myself, having a bad attitude, displacing my negative feelings onto others, acting impulsively, and engaging in self-doubt. I definitely fake it, even fight it, until I make it, at whatever cost.

But, while I secretly deep down possess a love/hate relationship with change, I believe it is one of the most beneficial experiences that one must go through.

During this journey of adaptation, you are able to learn a substantial amount about yourself. All the insecurities that you try to hide, all the walls you try to keep up, all the ways that you negatively cope with these changes, and all the ways you try to appear from being vulnerable or weak all reveal themselves. You must learn to test yourself and find productive ways to overcome these struggles, anxieties, and emotions. As, the longer you fight making adjustments to your life as a result of the inevitable, or inevitable change, the more difficult things may become for you.

And, yes, you will, whether you would like to or not, find yourself asking for help. No one wants to seem weak, clueless, out of the loop, etc., however, the only way to get through these times is to understand that it is okay to ask others around you for help. If you do not feel like you need help, simply asking a friend, trusted source, or opening up to just anyone can help alleviate your stress. Dealing with change is something that everyone can relate to, as nothing ever stays the same.

Personally, when change involves having to get accustomed to meeting new people, working together with those who are strangers, etc., I find myself struggling to adapt to overcome my own insecurities and clam up. I tend to isolate myself, which at times, makes me seem and come off as a nasty, shy, or catty girl. For me, adjustment serves the hardest when I have to encounter a new group of people, as I have found that I am an acquired taste and somewhat hard to understand, or perhaps relate to, especially when one first encounters me.

I, for one, hate seeming vulnerable, hate not coming off as perfect or professional, and sometimes, find myself suppressing my more humorous, outgoing side. So, often, when I first meet a new group of people, or a new person, I am often quiet and find myself observing those strangers around me, rather than focusing on getting acquainted with these new individuals. I would normally find this exciting, however, recently adjusting to meeting new people has become difficult for me.

For the first week of work, awkward, silent, and moderately funny was the approach I was going to take, as I wanted these new co-workers to realize that I am a hard-working, all while being taken seriously. I also, due to my own insecurities, took on a negative attitude of “why having to take on the burden of having to get to know 30 people who I will probably never talk to or hear from in five years,” so I decided to be negative, have an attitude, isolate myself, and change my whole persona. I felt those around me either confused, annoyed, and even not wanting to exert energy in even having to deal with this attitude and behavior. This was not successful, as I highlighted in my resume that I am outgoing and I am a team-player. Honestly, being cold-shouldered and not caring, is truly not who I am.

So, as the second week of work approached, I tried yet again. This time, I was going to try to take a chance, despite what my inner, negative thoughts were yelling at me. “This is work, it sucks anyways. Why waste energy to get to know these people? Just get into work and then get out.” But, I love to make the best out of everything, even long hours at work. Yes, work is work, but why make it more painful than not?

In this moment, I realized, “WOW! I am over thinking things. Just take a deep breath, accept the change, be awkward, and do not force anything out of myself or anyone that I do not want to. JUST CHILL OUT.” Instead of hiding my personality, or trying to pretend to be hardcore, I tried simply being vulnerable, asking for help, and most importantly, putting myself out there. Also, I needed to spend time worrying less about other people, worrying more about learning the job, and worrying about myself doing my job correctly. With that said, the rest would fall into place. I cannot change who I am, constantly going back and forth with how I want to present myself at work, so I just succumb to being the derp that I am.

Now, over the weekend of the second week of work, my true colors (the ditzy side of me, the more outgoing side of me, the less serious side of me, the weird side of me, etc.) began to show. The “little Ms. Perfect” act only worked for about two weeks, maximum. Now, I must say, even I was a little shocked by how quickly letting go of these negative feelings, over thinking, and all the toxic thoughts in my head, lead to me finally beginning to realize how quickly these adaptations could have been made, if only I had stuck to worrying about the important, more relevant things about transitioning to a new job.

Yup, to be real, my “little Ms. Perfect” persona was quickly murdered when I literally took a spill in front of one of my co-workers that I did not know very well and presumably gave a cold-shoulder to. Everything was going great, as I pretended to be perfect, to maintain composure and suppress my personality.

Here we go…this is what I call true embarrassment and revealing your most vulnerable side.

I literally slipped on a slippery and wet floor, as it felt like the concrete I was standing on was ripped from underneath me. I slipped on my butt, bruised every inch of my body, and knocked over quite a few many things. This was the moment when I decided to reveal my biggest secret of all: I am NOT perfect, I am very ditzy, I from time-to-time suck at life, and this is me most days. I am a human.

To say that my co-worker had tried hard not to laugh at me, as it happened so randomly, is an understatement. I am sure my cold-hearted exterior and negative demeanor made her hesitant to even crack a smile, as she had seen me crack, WHICH I NEVER LIKE PEOPLE SEEING ME DO. She just could not help it – “Finally, we see her in her true flesh,” she probably thought to herself.

She laughed VERY HARD, but apologized after laughing histarically and even in between every breathe. I am assuming, because she finally was able to capture a glimpse of the somewhat ridiculous and far-from-perfect person that I am. Whether she felt bad or not about actually laughing, does not matter. It was funny – she truly did not even need to ask if it was socially acceptable to laugh. In fact, I encouraged it. All this time I spent acting like I did not want to meet new people, make new friends, bond with others, and not seem perfect, all dissipated within seconds. I finally showed my true colors – I am not really the serious person, or whatever person, that I was trying to present myself as.

This slippery fall was the most painful reminder I have received in a while, as I have bruises everywhere to show for it, to remain true to yourself, not be so bitter, to not pretend like I do not make mistakes, to not make your life so much harder for yourself, etc. Most importantly, it taught me that being vulnerable and having fun at work is possible – also, there’s no need to hurt yourself in trying to present yourself as the perfect worker ever and isolate yourself from others.

No matter how hard you fight trying to be relatable, or trying to fight enjoying life, the gig will be up quickly.

Yes, you will take spills when you are experiencing changes, but yes, people will be understanding and are not trying to make things harder for you. Ask for help, especially when things are new to you. Take time to get to know your new environment. Open yourself up to new experiences. Learn that it will not be easy, but that is what others are there for.

While my new job occupies a significant amount of time, I have found that letting go of the animosity of having to make changes to my life and adjust to them has made it much easier on myself to process and transition much more quickly. Being open about communicating your thoughts and insecurities that you may be experiencing, while you are enduring these transitional phases of changes, is in your best interest. Not having a cold attitude, standoff-ish attitude about these changes, and realizing that it is uncomfortable for everyone, including your co-workers to also endure these changes, as there is once again a new employee, is also important. Getting acquitted with your new environment to the best of your extent and with a positive, outgoing mind is what is best.

An opportunity for change often leads to new experiences that you would have never come across if you had not taken a chance to take a leap of faith for change. Do not be afraid of the challenges, or fears, that may come of making a change to your life.

Change is difficult, can suck sometimes, but KNOW IT IS HEALTHY AND BUILDS CHARACTER. Allow yourself to be vulnerable during these times and get to know yourself a little better. Change is inevitable, however, there are ways to alleviate the stressors and anxiety that come of it. Remember, learning to adapt and transition to new situations, new environments, or even to new co-workers or to peers, is a process. Do not be hard on yourself.

The more experience you have to adapt to changes, the more accepting you will become of change.

Open your heart to some new experiences. It is much encouraged. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of courage.

Let life shake you up a little bit, and as Taylor Swift belts, “shake it [the insecurities, emotional stressors, negative thought processes, and animosity, as a result of the change] off.”

As my mother constantly reminds my father, “You are a chameleon.” My father has the ability to adapt to changes in environment, social situations, professional changes, circumstantial situations, or many challenges very easily and quickly accordingly, taking into consideration the thorough circumstances of the “change,” without hesitation or without a negative attitude. This is something I admire. In fact, it almost seems unnatural how accepting and willing he is to embrace change and how quickly he is able to adapt to and make solutions to any changes he may encounter. It is a skill that I truly admire, as he does it with ease.

[Take some notes]


Here are some noteworthy features of chamelone’s that may serve useful in embracing a chamelonesque ability to adapt to change:

  1. Be vigilant of your surroundings & use your eyes, in order to successfully adapt and assess your next move
    “Each eye of the chameleon can move independently… They have a 360-degree wide view arc of vision and are capable of seeing two directions at the same instance…When they lock down their vision on any object (let’s say a prey), both eyes are brought to focus offering a sharp stereoscopic vision. This gives them the ability to precisely gauge the distance and plan on the next move.” (http://www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/)
  2. Learn to adapt to situational circumstances quickly (however, changing the color of your exterior is optional)
    “Typically, the top layers of the chromatophores have either a yellow or red pigment while the lower ones have white or blue pigments. These four colors combine to give the chameleon the color it desires. While it was believed for long that this camouflage feature helps the animal to avoid detection in a hostile environment or while stalking its prey. However, recent studies have proved that the color change is due to variation in mood, temperature, and light.” (http://www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/)

Learn to be a chamelone.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade


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Sources

  1. “10 Interesting Chameleon Facts.” Chameleons as Pets, www.chameleonsaspets.com/chameleon-facts/.


 

Life Hack #22 – Choose Environmental Stability

Environmental stability refers to existing in an environment that provides emotional, physical, and mental stability and well-being to an individual.

The environment in which you surround yourself within dictates many facets of your life.

One’s idea of a stable environment is unique to them, as people achieve environmental stability differently than one another.

While some individuals find environmental stability within a hectic, busy, and loud environment, others are completely opposite and cannot stand loud noises, as they attain their environmental stability in a quiet environment. Environmental stability truly depends on an individual’s preferences.

In an environmentally sound environment, whether it is in a loud environment or a quiet environment, one should experience happiness, and a sense of comfortability in their environment. This environment should also allow for the individual to benefit from it, as the environment should assist in an individual’s road to thriving and living their best life.

Finding an environmentally stable place to spend your time and hours is very important aspect of achieving inner peace, improving on your self-care, and becoming a better person.

When you are living within the confines of the walls of stability, you will find that you are able to truly relax, which is very important. Most importantly, you may find yourself thriving in ways that you never thought was ever possible.

A stable environment allows for individuals to succeed, as they are able to be the best, most raw versions of themselves when they comfortable. Similarly, a stable environment should alleviate stress and anxiety that you face daily, as you will find that there are fewer distractions to avert your attention to , as a way to ignore all life’s stressors.

In addition, living in a place that feels environmentally stable assists in one’s ability to think clearly. When you find yourself living somewhere where you feel uncomfortable, you may find yourself over thinking even the most simplistic tasks or obligations, as a result of feeling uncomfortable.

Environments that are completely toxic to your mental, physical, and emotional health are ones that you should stay away from. I use the term “toxic” very loosely, as what is considered toxic to an individual varies per person. What may be a toxic environment for someone, may be completely toxic to you.

While life is supposed to challenge you in many ways, making sure that where you currently are provides you the environmental stability that everyone deserves.

A hazardous environment is not an environment that you want to be apart of, as that will only assist in bringing out qualities and behaviors that you may not be proud of.

Continuing to choose to live in a toxic environment is one way to torture yourself, which could lead to major negative effects in one’s physical, mental, and emotional health.

While you may not realize how much this environment is negatively affecting your overall well-being amidst the chaos when you are in that environment, but once you remove yourself from this environmentally hazardous situation and place yourself into a much more beneficial environment, you will begin to realize the extremity in which your environment is hurting you.

You may find that you have no idea who you are, as you do not feel like you belong in the unstable environment that you are forcing yourself to be apart of. As a result,

Instead of prolonging the removal of your toxic environment, think fast. The longer you wait, the worse things will begin to get. By continuing to torture yourself, you are choosing to impede your own self-growth and choosing to settle for something less than you deserve.

An environmentally hazardous environment only ensures social, professional, and academic, and health issues. While you may not know it or believe it, these issues, especially if unresolved, will lead to succumbing to your environment. With each and every time that you willingly place yourself in an environment that you consider toxic, you will begin to slowly mimic and take on the toxic behaviors around you.

However, in order to realize how a toxic environment impacts you, it requires an individual to experience a taste of a toxic environment more than once. If there is silver lining to a toxic environment, it can reveal a lot about you.

Similarly, with more exposure to environmentally hazardous environments, you begin to get familiar with your flaws, as they will begin to expose themselves. With more exposure to hazardous environments, you get to practice decision-making skills and the strength of your morals and values, as they will often be tested.

It is a difficult thing when you and your environment completely contrast each other, leading very little room for sharing similarities.

Life sometimes may force us into toxic environments, which is something that is inevitable. Learning to test your willingness to maintain stability within your life amidst the toxicity is a very valuable life skill, as life will not always put you in the most beneficial circumstances. Instead of fighting life with toxic behaviors, continuing to engage in your stable lifestyle is the only way to overcome the toxic environment. As facing toxic situations is an inevitable part of life, attempt to view the toxic environment as just another challenge you need to overcome. Do not let your toxic environment define you!

Once you begin flirting with your toxic environment, you are flirting with trouble directly. Using your environment as an excuse to engage in troublesome behaviors just does not cut it anymore.

How you  react to the toxic environment can serve as an important piece of knowledge and it is relevant in assisting you in identifying areas in which you need to improve on, in order to stay above the hazardous environment. Challenge for yourself a little and continue avoiding engaging in toxicity your environment presents. Continue to live your life as you normally would and avoid getting sucked into your poisonous environment. With immense amounts of hard work, perseverance, and focus, anyone could succeed in even the most environmentally unsafe environments.

There comes a time, however, when enduring the toxic environment can become excruciatingly detrimental to an extent in which you are  hurting yourself.  While life is supposed to be challenging, it does not mean that you must inflict more pain and stress upon yourself by putting yourself in a compromising environment that is not making you happy. Life is already so stressful as it is, so finding any sort of stability within our lives is important.

Take note of the extremity in which your environment affects you, whether it be positively or negatively. The more aware you are about yourself, your strengths, your weakness, stress signals, and your triggers, the better you will handle toxic environments. Having a firm understanding of who you are and your morals is one way to ward off any negativity and distractions that a toxic environment brings to your life. This knowledge will serve as very useful in the future.

Environmental stability ensures true happiness, inner peace,  growth, long-term health, and strong sense of self. Most importantly, it ensures stability in all aspects of your life. A stable environment ensures less temptation and allows for you to continue engage in stable and beneficial practices.

While one may experience growth, happiness, and a strong sense of self when engaging in risky behaviors, these feelings will only be short-lived, and are not genuine. Tricking yourself into thinking that this environment is helping you may work short-term, however, at some point, the toxicity will catch up to you.

No one should compromise your happiness and sense of self, as occupying an environmental that unstable will only hold you back from experiencing life.

Choose environmental stability to ensure you a lifelong supply of  genuine happiness, health, inner peace, and a strong sense of self-confidence  ☼

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #21 – FSU Hard AF Now B4 It’s 2 Late

FSU (F***K SH!T UP) hard A(s) F(rick) now while you are young and youthful, as it is more societally acceptable to FSU hard AF before hitting your mid 30s. But, really, if you can accomplish settling down and not causing a ruckus for yourself 24/7 prior to your mid 30s, that is in your best interest.

If you are trying to push your luck, your mid 30s could potentially be one of the last opportune moments to test your luck, to be ballsy and careless, without potentially destroying the rest of your future. The older you get, the more extreme the consequences will become from any reckless, toxic decisions you are making.

Dip your toes in trouble while you are young, I reassure you that getting “in too deep,” and pulling some gangster s**t in your earlier years is much more of an idealistic way to embrace your impulsive side.

As you grow older, you will see more and more individuals learn to suppress their impulses and learn to find other hobbies to take up their time in, other than FSU-ing hardcore parkore.

When I say FSU hard AF, I mean engaging in negative behaviors recreationally, or daily, that not only do not have your best interest, but are the definition of self-destruction. These “recreational” habits that you engage in when you are attempting to numb your reality or suppress any emotions, trauma, etc., more than usual. The FSU hard AF life, tends to create natural disasters in all areas of your life. Perhaps your intentions may have been to unleash a cyclone of angry or painful emotions outwardly towards the world, or perhaps that may not have been your intention at all. Either way, you should expect a natural disaster that ompletely destroys any foundations, or anything you once had or attained.

However you choose to decide to temporarily cause a trainwreck in your life, please do it while you are young. As you get older, you  do not possess the energy, time or stamina to constatly, be engaging in these lethal habits. As a child, as tpre-teen,as teen, or as young adult, life allows us with more excuses, time, money, and opportunities to recover from these habits that may potentially have led to many mistakes and destruction within your life.

As you to grow older, you must learn to be independent, pick up responsibilities, be able to take responsiiblity for your actions, pay your own bills, find a job, be your own motivator, be your own best friend, and choose the way you would like to live your life (the list goes on). As established adults, we must also learn to find independence, as we begin to realize that our parents, or family members, cannot just clean up every mess for you or provide you with every answer in the book.

Whoever your caretaker may be, or your legal guardian may be, understand that with age, it is expected of you, as an individual, to begin embracing the responsibility of adulthood and properly learn how to apply it to life. As the digits of your numerical age increases, the amount of dependency decreases, because at some point, you do need to grow up, or at least attempt to grow up.

Growth does not happen in one day, or one year, it takes a whole lifetime. Even when you are an adult, it is still difficult to master of your life. That is why learning to FSU hard AF and experiencing the FSU life is best when experimented in your youth. This is because, as a young child, you will have guardians who will act as your moral compass, in the hopes of preventing the behavior. The younger you are the more lenient life and the world around you will be towards this self-destructive behavior and habit. Havoc, while is best avoided at all times, is best to leave in your youth.

Refusing to learn to be independent AT ALL, or even remotely assume an adult character, leaves an image of adult still being breast feed by their 90-year-old mother. This is not a good image, in fact, it is quite disturbing.

About four years ago, my parents stated, “Listen. You are now 18, you are considered an adult. Be one and figure it out. We are no longer going to hold your hand, as you please. We still love you and will help when we can, but you are now responsible for yourself and your own actions. Do whatever you want, but understand that there are consequences for your bad actions. We are allowed to do as you please and we can only hope that you will make the best decisions you can.”

This came off harsh, but at the time, bad habits was the name of my game. I was a self-proclaimed “hoodrat doing hoodrat things with my hoodrat friends.” Of course, most of these behaviors or decisions I made were not smart, but not done out of intentions other than being very naive. Making decisions to engage in detrimental behaviors, at the time, had a sort of innocence to it, as I was unable to realize that maintaing such a toxic lifestyle WILL lead to many issues down the road. Some of these conseuqneces and problems that arise from our actions can truly take a toll on our lives and disrupt any sort of stability and inner peace your life craves.

Once again, while you are young, make those mistakes and truly get the taste of what it is like to FSU hard AF. While I am condoning this behavior to a certain extent, the younger that you decide to truly hit what may seem like rock bottom, the longer you have to bounce back and re-learn and replace old habits with new ones. Similarly, the world is just not a very forgiving place. With age comes more responsibilites, and while younger citizens do have responsibilities, the responsibilities you have when you are younger are of much less gravity than those repsonsibilites you have to uphold to when you are an adult. Starting from square one when you are younger is much easier, while consequences will arise, there are many more opportunities to succeed and move past these mistakes you made when you were FSU-ing 2 hard AF.

While I hope to God that no one ever has to experience a point in their life when their life leads to need to “recreationally” FSU-ing so hard AF, it does happen to every single individual. The way we go about FSU-ing hard AF is unique to each and every person, but just know it is not sustainable.

While you are young, take advantage of the years to make mistakes, FSU so hard AF, be careless, but make sure you are always learning. This gives you the time and leverage to learn how to adult before you encountering adulting.

FSU-ing hard AF is a very self-destructive behavior and a habit to be regularly, or recreationally, engaging in. Take time to get to know yourself, so you can pinpoint areas and times when you suddenly feel an inclination to FSU hard AF, which will in turn, allow you to find other ways to replace this need to exert your stress more properly. The goal is to replace FSU-ing 2 hard AF to moderation. Most importantly, the goal should be to completely replace these FSU-ing 2 hard AF habits and actions with other positive behaviors, in which you can FSU the world all you want in a self-constructive manner.

This does not mean you are not allowed to have fun, as it is important to reconnect with that FSU hard AF side of you. However, learn to keep your visit to FSU city short. Remember, that once you turn back over to the dark side, FSU-ing hard AF does not get you very far, very many friends, very many brain cells, very much happiness, very much solitude, very much fun, and very much stability.

At some point, FSU-ing hard AF will lose its fun and become more of a habit and a problem, rather than a way of release, affecting all facets of your life negatively. Do not let it get to that point! I will admit it is hard to realize, while you are caught up in FSU-ing hard AF, how much destruction you are causing, but try to catch yourself and be aware of your actions and how others around you are reacting towards your behavior.

This message has been approved by Ai Tewahade, please FSU hard AF responsbility.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #18 – Oh God, Bliss You!

You know when you have one of those super amazing, yet undescribable days, where everything seems to just fall into place? The day is so good, you would not mind reliving the night again, and again, and again? Those days and nights when you just want to hold onto every hour of that day, because it was just so perfect. One of those days when saying goodbye to the end of the day is so painful, because you wish it would never stop.

We all deserve those days, every once in a while. These amazing moments are undescribable and I wish every single moment was just like days like these.

Good company, good energy, no drama, too many smiles and laughs, and one of those days where you are gently reminded how much fun life can be, and how grateful we are to be alive another day.

Life is good to us, but not every day is perfect (obviously!). But, every once in a while, life blesses us with a day we do not even expect to be so fun and amazing, just to show us how much there is to live for.

These amazing days remind me of all the things, people, love, animals, peers, circumstances, and blessings that I have in front of my life, regardless of how I feel about my own life and myself at the current time.

The best things about these days are they are often surprises that come from left field. Most often, I find that these perfect days come when I have low expectations for the night, feeling a little hesistant, and willingly decide to take a chance.

These days are gentle reminders to also smile more and relax more, not to mention live a little.

I am not saying that not every day is amazing and great, but some days are undescribably perfect (just a smidge bit more special than some other days).


These are the days that I live for and that we should all live for.  But, I never, ever, ever want these days to end – EVER.

“Do you ever realize how badly you’re going to miss a moment while you’re living it? Like wow, these are the good days. I am here and I am happy and I feel alive.”


I encourage you to take some chances, even if expecting your day and/or night not to go as planned. Take a chance and live a little! Life is exciting. You do not even have to do something crazy, just do not underestimate how much fun you can have with good company. It is almost as if nothing can ever go wrong.

One of my New Years Resolutions for 2018 is to learn to try to make the best of my life and make more “special” and “perfect” days possible, by spending my time with good, uplifting company and taking chances with them.

In simpler terms, I want to live blissfully, in bliss, with blissful people, creating blissful memories with them.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade