Life Hack #35 – Lost?

“Follow the yellow brick road,” they say.

“Take the road less traveled on,” they also say.

But, whichever you decide to follow or travel on, does not guarantee finding your way. This is because no matter who you are, how successful you are, your gender, your race, or your age, we all, as humans feel lost.

There is a certain aspect of the unknown that comes with being alive, which leaves us feeling full of busy minds and uncertainty.

The truth is that no one really ever feels like “they have been found,” and that we are all lost.

As humans, we love to make appear as though we have it all figured out, but even the most organized and successful individual is struggling to find their unique destination.

We are all in this together, as we all continue to battle figuring out the mysteries of life, our life purposes, how to find our place in this world, etc.

No one really knows what they are doing. Some days, we are taking chances. Some days, we stick to what is comfortable. Some days, we wonder what we are doing. Some days, we are wondering if what we are doing is what we really want to be doing. Some days, we feel stuck

This happens to everyone at every age. We are more alike as humans than we even think!

We all want to live our best lives and get to a place in our lives where we feel complete and utter stability. For some reason, the idea of stability is closely correlated with a life, where one is not, or will not feel, lost.

The destination of “found” is once again an imaginary, utopia that our society has created.

There will always be days, months, or even years where you will feel lost.

In order to supress feelings of uncertainty and feelings of being lost, human beings react by distracting themselves, either by getting involved in the community or activities, picking up hobbies, getting a job, going out to bars and making friends, using applications, such as Tinder, Bumble, etc., attending school, and even by engaging in self-destructive habits and negative coping skills.

The feeling of feeling lost, not belonging, and feeling completely and utterly confused, is not a very comfortable feeling. We all react towards these feelings differently, both negatively and positively, depending on the individual and the nature of the situation.

The future and the constant pressure that society, as well as yourself, put on yourself to find a place in society, in order to feel secure, is sometimes so intense that it becomes immersing your world.

You truly begin questioning yourself and struggling to find the confidence to make your way through your life, without constantly being clouded by pressures, doubts, anxieties, stressors, and situations.

The most comforting feeling to me, who constantly finds myself feeling lost and trying to find my purpose in life, is knowing that this feeling is something that is familiar to everyone.

I have learned to take advantage of finding various outlets that allow me to be able to connect with others, feel involved, and make me feel good. Doing these things and doing them as much as often allows me to somewhat alleviate these feelings of uncertainty.

Utilize the buddy system in life, and bond, connect and find outlets with other humans, coping mechanisms, and hobbies, that can allow you to feel apart of something that you enjoy.

We are all just trying to find our place in the world, and we are struggling to combat these feelings of feeling lost.

Whether you chose the yellow brick road, or whether you take the road less traveled on, you will stick find yourself lost.

The real question is where is our destination?

And, is there really a final destination that we are all going to reach sometime, even if we have decided on a destination?

Let me know what you think in the comments below ✨🌟🌙


Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #34 – Take Notes

I love taking notes, and then color-coding them, and then perfecting them to the closest thing to perfect.

I tend to only be this meticulous with taking notes and absorbing information when I am in class.

Taking notes, and I mean literally writing, or typing, down notes, reminders, or information that you should retain is especially important.

Outside of class, there are a million reasons why you should be taking notes, mentally, but most importantly, physically taking notes. Beyond the fact that human beings are incredibly forgetful, human beings are incredibly talented at making mistakes, and even ignoring important details. Taking notes can save you from a lot of stress, inconveniences, and trouble, all which are things that we do not enjoy.

My favorite way to keep track of my life, and every aspect of my life, is to jot down a to-do list. I also love to use planners and calendars, and the more, the merrier. I own at least three calendars and a handful of planners that I love to use, mostly for fun.

I did not used to be like this.

In fact, a few years ago you could not catch me taking notes or using a planner, especially for fun. There was a time when I thought all these tasks were simply unnecessary and a waste of time. Boy, I was wrong!

Beyond to-do lists, planners, and calendars, when I am absorbing directions or instructions of any sort, or am receiving important information that I would like to access and be reminded of easily, I am quick to grab a pen and a pad of paper. If the information is successfully transferred onto a piece of paper that I keep somewhere safe, the information is able to be accessed with ease. Most importantly, the information that you are accessing is correct, accurate, and untainted.

All human beings, including myself, are guilty of lying to ourselves that “we will remember that thing that we thought kind of hard about writing down.” This results in more stress and more problems, as you are forced to construct a semi-accurate version of the information. Your version of the information is simply based on how much you absorbed the information, your ability to listen intently, and your memory. The chances of your almost-accurate information being correct is more often low rather than high. While your version of the information is not a lie and may convey “the same idea,” it is not and will not be correct. Most commonly, while the big picture of the information may have been received, individuals tend to miss the details, which are the important parts.

Taking notes is especially pertinent for those trying to pay attention to details.

Details are hypothetically smaller than the bigger picture. Human beings are all guilty of forgetting the details, or ignoring the details. But, the details are just about the only time that we should be paying attention. Instead of absorbing the details, we tend to focus on the bigger picture and are unable to appreciate, or even acknowledge, the importance of the details. Not knowing the details of any situation you encounter most often  results in mistakes, more trouble, etc.

We are all human, so we are allowed to make mistakes. But, do not let that be your excuse for not paying attention to the details of anything. It is important that you learn how vital it is to recognize the magnitude of importance that details, or skipping details, play in our lives.

Accuracy and meticulous tendencies, such as taking notes in important, information-filled situations, is extremely beneficial things that one should practice.

Even with meticulous tendencies and over-alert awareness for paying attention to the details, one can forget the details.

Can you blame them, though?

Details are just so small, and our society celebrates and promotes the concept of “the bigger picture.” Once again, the small, minute details of an otherwise bigger picture are overlooked, as if they do not play a huge role in the creation of a bigger picture.

Within a bigger picture, one can find one big picture. One can also find hundreds of small, minute details that come together to create the “bigger picture,” in which you are staring at. Without the small, minute details, there would be no bigger picture. Or, the bigger picture would just be a blank, white canvas that looks just like the others.

From experience when I am beginning a new job and am learning all my job duties, and all the details behind my duties, I always grab a pen and paper to jot down any notes, or information, that I find important, I feel is emphasized, or I feel as though I may forget.

Let’s just say that I take a lot of notes.

Just because you are taking down notes does not mean that you do not have a good memory, or that you cannot handle life. It just means that you have accepted the fact that our ability to go beyond listening, or pretending to listen, to information and actually proceed to process, acknowledge, remember, and implement every single task correctly without any reminders, or without forgetting, is not as great as we would like to believe.

We all would like to remember every little thing without having to take notes, or make reminders, details and all. But, this is simply not realistic.

Write down everything if you so please, especially if it is going to assist you in retaining information accurately. Our brains can only remember so much!

Most of us have had our entire lives, minus our infancy, to practice taking notes.

Let’s take it outside of the classroom, how about that?


Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #33 – Patience & Persistence, My Friends!

Words that start with the letter “p” are generally quite silly, like poop, party, play, penis, and pajamas, but two words that start with the letter “p” that are far from silly, include patience and persistence.

Patience and persistence are two qualities that are not only important to learn, acknowledge, and practice in life, but are the keys to success, eternal happiness, and fufillment.

When I think of success, patience and persistence are the two words that follow the idea behind success.
In a utopian world, success would be something that was much more attainable and accessible to all, allowing people to achieve success without even having to endure hardship, hardwork or failure. Success could be attained in a blink of an eye, without having to master the qualities of patience and persistence.

It does not matter how long I have lived, or been around the block, patience and persistence are genuinely rare qualities to find in people, as many people do not initially possess the qualities of patience and persistence. I do not believe that these qualities are innate, but rather are learned, practiced, and acknowledged over a period of time.
Sometimes, I truly believe that individuals have no idea what being patient even means, let along persistent. Patience and persistence take years, sometimes even a lifetime, to truly master, or to truly engage in regularly.

In a society that prioritizes the ideal of success, I am here to tell you that success comes to those who truly are patient and persistence in their art. Change, or even desireable results, do not happen overnight. In fact, it takes weeks, months, and even years of persistence and patience to often produce the favorable, successful results that you yearn for so bad. Even then, you may never see the favorable results that you were always expecting and dreaming of.

While the answer to achieving success does not ONLY involve patience and persistence, these two qualities are some of the major factors that play into the level of success that you can achieve.
Patience is necessary, because as I mentioned above, growing success, or success, does not happen overnight. Sometimes, success can come to you all at once, allowing for an enormous amount of growth and successful results, however, a constant rate of growth and success is just not possible. At some point, the progress may seemingly come to a halt, as the amount of success that you just experienced is something of the past and the results that you work so hard for are just not cutting it. You may feel like you hit a plateau, as you find yourself stuck with the same, or similar, underwhelming results day-in-and-day-out.
Hardship, or times that seem unfavorable, are necessary for individuals to learn the quality of patience. You need to experience struggle, frustration, anger, or some emotions, about a situation, a business, a statistic, etc., in order to fully grasp the concept of being patient, or else you are not doing it right.
The idea of patience is that no matter how frustrating, difficult, or uncomfortable things may get, or may seem, that you are able to keep trying and keep working hard every day, understanding that you will not experience the benefits of your hardwork immediately, despite the fact that you may be frustrated, uncomfortable, and emotional about the way that things are turning out. Patience truly tests you, as the idea of patience encompasses maintaining consistent reactions to both good results and bad results.
Instead of immediately giving up on my blog when I did not see the results that I wished for, only after three weeks of creating it, I learned that with patience I could slowly begin working towards more favorable results, by continuing to post regularly, or iregularly, and simply giving it time.
As we all know, Rome was not built overnight.
Patience combats the idea behind satisfying your ego immediately, and instead forces individuals to work and to wait for the satisfication. In a society that thrives on immediate gratification of one’s ego, patience is often forgotten, not practiced, and not understood by the majority of the population. This is ironic, as life is all about learning to patient, with situations, with people, with life, with education, etc.
Patience can be applied to every aspect of your life, from health, to careers, to success, to learning, to education, to relationships, to friendships, to pain, to hardship, etc. It should be applied to as many aspects of your life as possible!

Perserverance is another very strong “p” word that resonates very highly with my soul. Perserverance is the act of keeping pushing on, despite any bumps, dips, or potholes in the road. Despite what life may throw you, deciding to keep trying is the definition of perserverance. I describe perserverance as “fighting the good fight.”
Perserverance is SO important to learn, practice, and acknowledge in your lifetime, as it can be applied to every aspect of your life.
Life is infamous for throwing people curveballs that come from left-field, and while we cannot always prepare for the worst and prepare for battle, learning to practice the act of perserverance is a very important lifeskill that you do not want to miss out on.
Perserverance, while similar to the idea behind patience, is different than patience, in the sense that perserverance encompasses the idea of “continuing to take stabs at something,” no matter what the circumstances may be. Patience more focuses on maintaining a sense of calm, without complaints, or loss of temper, despite how outside forces may be erupting or affecting your life, your mood, or patience.

While patience is more closely associated with maintaining a cool temper and overall demeanor, especially during times that seemingly make you want to completely want to give up, and perserverance is more closely associated with acting persistently, despite any hardships, difficulties, etc., patience and perserverance sometimes seem like they could be the same thing! I believe that these terms are so closely associated with each other that you can not be patient without persistent, and you can not be persistent without any patience. They truly go hand-in-hand, especially when expediting the journey to success! With patience and persistence, an individual can truly reach their potential, and then some, as these two traits are the fundamentals for achieving success, or even simply achieving a goal.

It sometimes may seem like throwing in the towel, or otherwise getting upset, irritated, and losing your temper, may be the answer, or the easier answer. But, easy does not get you very far in life and produces results that are less fufilling than results that one has perservered and been patient for.
The phrase, “Finally, all the hardwork paid off,” comes from a lifetime, or maybe less, of engaging in perserverance and patient behavior.

Practicing patience and practicing perserverance is not easy by any means, and for someone who has been told that I am patient and a fighter, I even know that I could be A LOT more patient and perservere through so much more than people give me credit for. Personally, patience and perserverance have been some of the most difficult qualities to emulate, because it requires a lifelong commitment and lifelong practice.

Even the most patient and persistent people find themselves engaging in inpatient and inpersistent behavior, during times of hardship, struggle, and discomfort.
While we are all not perfect and will fall victim of throwing in the towel, I encourage you to actively and genuinely make an effort to practice these two values! They will serve as beneficial in the long-run, and you will not regret it!

P A T I E N C E  &  P E R S E R V E R A N C E  A R E  M Y  V I R T U E S .
What are your virtues that you like to go out of your way to practice and embody?


Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #30 – S/O To My Squad

Celebrate and shout out your fellow cheerleaders, or your support system, and do this regularly! You can never celebrate and uplift your personal cheer squad too much, as their existence in your life deserves infinite amounts of celebratory praise and appreciation. The more that you continue to acknowledge and to truly appreciate the positivity that their existence brings to your life, the more love and the more growth that friendship will begin to experience. Similarly, the more love and the more appreciation you begin to show the members of your personal cheerleading squad, the more that this individual will begin to shine and the more that this individual will begin actively exuding their best qualities, whether you notice this or not.

Everything about displaying appreciation for your support system presents positive benefits, even if these benefits may not be clearly visible for you to see.
Individuals tend to exude their best qualities and be the best versions of themselves when they are presented with positive, kind reminders of the great things that they bring to the table. In short, individuals tend to react much more positive to positive reinforcement, which can come in the form of compliments, daily reminders, etc., than they react to negativity. This is self explanatory, as human beings are programmed to respond and react in a more positive way when they are offered incentives, such as compliments, gifts, etc.

While it is nearly impossible to actively address every single one of your personal cheerleading squad with appreciation every day, however, it is incredibly important to enforce acts of appreciation for your support system, at least once a week. Tending to your support system is similar to tending to a garden; if you do not water the plants in your garden regularly, or proceed to take care of this garden, the plants in your garden will slowly begin decaying. If you continue to neglect taking care of your garden, it will result in a garden full of feeble, weak, unstable, rickety, and fragile decayed plants, which are far from accountable, let along desireable. Further neglegance over the care of your garden will result in a environment full of weeds, which will only further complicates your life by adding unnecessary clutter that you do not even want to deal with. The goal of a garden is to create an oasis, in which all of the plants are happy, healthy, strong, and stable, which are all adjectives that should describe the members of your support system. Just like your garden, you want your support system to consist of accountable, hearty, and unwavering individuals, as a strong and capable support system allows for the best opportunity for an individual to flourish and to blossom.

The foundation of one’s success rate begins with their support system, or their personal cheerleading squad. The stronger the foundation, the more stable and powerful the support system is.

A support system does not come together in the blink an eye. In fact, casting cheerleaders for your personal squad can take years and try-outs are held numerous times a month, sometimes a day. Try-outs are relentless and you will come across many desireable members for your squad, however, not every member that you cast will end up sticking around. Some cheerleaders that have made the cut for your squad initially may possess the skills and the foundation to be an excellent member of your squad, however, not every individual has the ability to mesh well with your cheerleading squad. As a result of extensive the selection process that goes into the casting process of your permanent cheerleading squad, you will encounter many temporary members, who may cheer for your team only for a short amount of time. This means that you will often find many individuals to quit the cheerleading squad, only supporting you for a temporary amount of time. These individuals are not necessarily “bad,” however, it just means that this individual just may not be the best fit for your cheerleading squad. As a result, their long-term participation on your cheerleading squad is simply out of the question. Some members of your cheerleading squad may serve shorter sentences than others who may hold a more permanent place within your cheerleading squad.

We are always changing, as our lives, so it is only natural that only a small percentage of the potential squad members are able to make the squad every try-out, as the nature, essence, goals, and priorities of the cheerleading squad is constantly changing. The permanent place-holding cheerleaders possess the qualities, patience, acceptance, and attitude to conform, and furthermore, support the cheerleading squad with their utmost ability. Not every cheerleader will possess the skills to successfully mold into the needs of the cheerleading squad, all while providing other benefits to the cheerleading squad that help the squad grow, succeed, fail, struggle, and fight. The ones that possess the love, patience, acceptance and support to hold a permanent place on your cheerleading squad time and time again are the individuals that you should never forget to shower with love, compliments, kindness, compassion, joy, and support. These people that constantly drag their booties to every life event and stand on the sidelines constantly rooting for you to succeed and to win are a rare breed, and should always be kept close to your heart.

Just like your cheerleading is constantly looking out for your best interest, it is important that you reciprocate the favor, by also tending to their needs, wants, and their best interests. After all, you do want your squad at their best, mentally, physically and emotionally.

I guarantee that all the members of your personal cheerleading squad will personally appreciate it, as it is not only polite and kind to treat people as they treat you. People will begin to lose motivation to actively work their bodies to ground for someone who either fails to acknowledge or appreciate all the good that you are doing for them. Within every functional relationship, the idea of a two-way street is always evident. It does feel nice to be recognized for your kind deeds and honest intentions, even though kindness and honest intentions do not require acknowledgement.

It is very important to get to know your personal fan-base. You should seek to form relationships with each and every member of your current squad, as knowledge serves to be a beneficial facet of building the most successful squad for your current reality. By forming personal and intimate relationships with every member of the squad, you can identify strengths and weaknesses, personalities, etc. within your squad. With this information, you can further work to mold your dream squad to showcase their utmost strengths.

Intimacy within a team of any kind functions at its’ most effective pace when members are motivated to work together. A motivation to work together sprouts from knowing, and therefore, trusting the people that have your back. It is safe to conclude that one’s ability to actively and effectively work with others closely is an important aspect in concluding whether or not they are fit to be apart of your squad. Members of your dream team should feel comfortable working with other members of your cheer squad to further benefit you, or otherwise solidify their support system.

It is much easier and comfortable living your life, knowing that you have an entire cheerleading squad behind you, rooting for you and supporting you, in sickness and in health. While it is fundamental to find support within yourself, individuals tend to experience more successful outcomes when they have a strong support system that is willing to work with you, and all your unique needs, wants, comfortability, strengths, weaknesses and your personality and behaviors, to develop a unique, effective cheer routine that caters to your unique existence, your current priorities, needs, and wants, in order to execute the routine in the most successful and most accurate way that they are able to, in order to make you happy, support you, and bring you success and happiness.

You should treat the members of your hard-working cheer squad like they are your family. Your cheerleading squad does not always have to include members of your family, however, it is important to recognize that your cheer squad is your non-biological family. They are very important forces in your well-being, happiness, etc.

No amount of reciprocation of kindness is ever too much. Throwing a themed party to celebrate and appreciate all the members of your metaphoric backbone, or spine, should be mandatory for all individuals, as we do not celebrate people’s existence nearly enough within our society. Your spinal chord, or your support system, is a very important part of your body, as it holds more responsibilities than the President of America. It is so important to take care of your spinal chord – I would even recommend spoiling your squad, especially the good ones. You know who they are!

Pampering and spoiling those you love is not a crime. Showing someone how much they mean to you speaks louder than words, and you should never take advantage of these permanent members of your cheerleading squad. These permanent place-holders on your squad do more than tolerate your existence. In fact, being apart of someone’s support system, or truly caring for another human being, is a full-time job. Their time is so valuable – do not waste their time and energy failing to acknowledge how much they do for you, whether you notice the good that they bring or not.

The way you choose to express and to celebrate every member of your support system is up to you. The size or the grandiosity of the gesture hardly plays a role in how thankful that individual be with your graceful act of appreciation. A little does go a long way, in this case.

Do not be afraid to celebrate, to enjoy, and to appreciate all the good humans that work very hard to keep you happy, healthy, and strong.



Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #29 – “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it”

Alice from Alice In Wonderland infamously states, “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom ever follow it.”
This may be one of the most relatable quotes from a Disney movie that I have ever heard.

The issue that Alice is addressing is the issue that our wisdom and our advice often is correct, however, as humans, we often avoid implementing and acting on our advice and wisdom. It is not fair to say that we often waste our advice on ourselves, as we often steer clear from ever listening to ourselves even though we would like to help ourselves.

We are often full of good advice and valuable wisdom that should be utilized to further better ourselves, further better our lives, further better our perspective, etc.

Implementing the piece of advice that you have set forth for yourself, or for others, is much easily said than done.

I do not know about you, but I would rather be giving advice, useless or useful, than actually going out and acting upon these realizations.

Acknowledging the advice that you have either received from yourself, or others, is the first step towards making changes, so one can eliminate the issue that required your unsollicited advice. However, if you just stop at acknowledging how much your life would get better, if only you would just follow through with acting on your advice, you may find yourself at a standstill.

Advice requires action, or requires one to make adjustments and changes, in order to fix or change the part of our life that required us to seek advice in the first place.

“Practice what you preach,” is a relavant phrase for those to acknowledge, especially those who are often found handing individuals, or themselves, advice, solicited or unsolicited.

From an outsider’s perspective, individual’s who are often caught handing out their advice seemingly appear like they have all the answers in the world, or possess some sort of access to this unlimited wisdom that allows them to live their seemingly perfect lives, with the utmost composure. It almost seems like they have all the answers in the world.
Yes, they may be flawed, but they are able to present themselves in such a way that makes them seem like they can handle any situation that life throws at them with grace, without the assistance of advice.

This perception of “wise individuals” is highly incorrect, as we all struggle with life, we all seek advice, and we all have so many unanswered questions. Life is an never ending lesson and we will never stop learning, growing, and gaining more insight into life.

As a blogger that often gives out advice, or shares life experiences, I am often faced with the perception that I always know what to do, how to handle myself, and that I know my way around life a little better than most. This is far from the truth, as I am constantly learning, growing, and seeking advice.
Furthermore, while I truly attempt to follow my own advice and be the best version of myself, I am a great example of someone who fails to actively take their own advice, especially in times of need.
Sometimes, it honestly feels better to throw yourself a pity party than to actually follow through, or even listen to, your own advice. Ignoring my own advice is something that I find myself struggling with at least 100 times a day, which is a lot of time spent ignoring rather than simply just listening. Out of the 100+ times a day that I ignore my advice, or the advice that others give me, I only listen to advice, help, etc. of any sort only 3% of the time, which is a small percentage of the time.

Why we chose to often ignore our advice truly depends on the situation, the person, the person’s willingness to change, self-doubt, the idea that ignorance is bliss, etc., The reasons are extensive and unique to each and every individual, so it is incredibly difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of our ignorance.
Sometimes, we even bask in the glory of engaging in our own pity parties, without making any attempts to make changes, even though you may be aware that something within your life needs to change.

I am full of good advice, old and new clichès, and life lessons from personal experiences, my peers, and the Internet. With all this access to advice and wisdom, it is truly a surprise how adamant we are on not listening to the advice and wisdom that is so clearly abundant within our own lives. Advice and wisdom can be found in even the most random of places, and you would be surprised how much wisdom and information you are able to soak up in just 24 hours. You are constantly gathering information and making observations about life, other’s lives, and your life, both consciously and subconsciously. We are much more wise and intuitive than we even know, or can even conceptualize.

Making judgement calls about how to handle the advice that you have been given, and possessing the ability to closely examining how the real life situation can be altered, or otherwise improved, with the assistance of some outside wisdom, requires an individual to know “right” from “wrong.” Our definitions of “right” and “wrong” are unique to each and everyone of us, however, there are a handful of things that are considered either “right” or “wrong” that are universally shared within communities, or religions, or cultures, or societies. Actions that are considered “right” are celebrated by society, and actions that are considered “wrong doing” result in punishment. These ideas of “right” and “wrong” are upheld by society, the government, etc., and these ideas are constantly being enforced and reaffirmed, whether we realize it or not.

When applying a judgement call to a situation, it is important to recognize what parts of a situation are working for you, or bringing forth benefits, and which aspects of the situation are only bringing negativity into our lives, or otherwise making our lives much harder than it should be.
Judgement calls are often done without even consciously realizing it, as the concept of “good” and “bad” are engrained in the way that we think and make decisions. Some situations may require more thought and consideration than other situations, but once you are able to properly assess the nature of a situation that may be troubling you, a quarter of the battle has already been won.

A lack of awareness of the way a situation may be affecting you, either positively or negatively, can be dangerous thing, as situations that are negatively affecting you may suddenly take a shape of its’ own, without you even realizing it. Even if life seems to unfolding right in front of your eyes, I have found that it always seems like everyone, but you, are able to thoroughly identify how a situation may be affecting you. Your peers, or an outside perspective, are able to actively witness and observe from a distance, however, often when you are right in the heart of a situation, it is incredibly difficult to truly grasp a thorough understanding of the severity that a situation is affecting you.

Often, we may blame our lack of motivation to make changes, or accept advice, whether it is solicited or unsolicited, on a lack of awareness. Most of the time, I have found that individuals often exhibit a lack of willingness to accept a situation for what it is, or pretending to prefer existing in a state of denial, is the most popular reason for individual’s ignoring advice and wisdom, even if it is coming from ourselves. As human beings, we are much more intuitive and sensitive than we even give ourselves credit for. A state of denial is incredibly dangerous, as individual’s become set on fighting their current reality. It is very easy to fall into a state of denial, as many situations that we are often in denial about are situations that are somewhat personal to us, or spark some sort of emotional reaction within us.

Most individuals are great listeners and truly attempt to implement the advice they have received into their current reality. In fact, most individuals have the best intentions, but get tripped up when it comes to the actual implementation of the advice. Every person will interpret advice differently, as advice can often be applied to more than situation. As a result, the way that an individual incorporates the advice they have been given in order to make changes in their life, differs from every individual. Similarly, an individual’s levels of enthusiasm to implement changes to their current reality, all while taking into account the advice they received, varies from person to person, as well as from situation to situation.

I believe that most individuals do not actively mean to ignore advice, but what we fail to realize is that, for an individual to fully recognize the advice that they receive, the advice must be relayed to an individual more than a handful of times.
Throughout your entire life, you could hear the same advice, or thoughts that others have about ways that you could grow, learn, and improve, but you could also go your entire life without even accepting, and therefore, implementing, the advice.
There are many reasons for this lack of ability to fully utilize a piece of advice, but the main reason is that often other aspects of an individual’s life are distracting them from processing the advice. Another reason behind a lack of implementation of advice includes that other facets of an individual’s life are more important to them, and as a result, this piece of advice that is repeated to them their entire life is never truly acknowledged, SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO THAT PERSON.

Advice and wisdom from outside sources should always be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes, advice and wisdom comes from a place that does not look out for your best interest, or is based off of dishonesty. The source of the advice and the wisdom is a factor that one should take into consideration, all the time. The advice and the wisdom, if it comes from a dishonest place, may not serve any benefits for you, and may even end up hurting you.

Do not shut your ears and your eyes off to the advice and the wisdom that life constantly offers us, even when we do not want it, or are not seeking it. It may end up being more helpful and useful than you could ever imagine.


Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #28 – Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, Will I Ever Have A Spouse At All?

“Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, Will I Ever Have A Spouse At All?”

Both, ladies and gentleman, this is the lifelong, eternal question that haunts individuals of all ages and genders, including those who may already have a spouse. This is one question that tends to infiltrate the minds of all individuals, as marriage, or at least having a significant other, or being in an active relationship, is an aspect of life that all cultures tend to regard as something of high-priority.

For some reason, across many, if not all, marriage has become regarded as an aspect of life that cultures have regarded as essential in sealing the fate of living a full, storybook, fufilling, and happpy life. In fact, not being married, among many cultures (as I do not want to generalize), is considered abnormal and is in some cultures frowned upon.

Across a wide variety of cultures, marriage has become a standard practice that individuals feel as though they must engage in, due to societal pressures. Whether one’s reasons behind marriage, include societal pressures, misconceptions that unmarried people will live unhappy lives, planned marriages, or just the prominence of marriage within a society, marriage, or finding a life partner, or being in a relationship with someone, are notions that constantly haunt the minds of all individuals.

With that said, word on the street is that marriage is wonderful and extremely fufilling. Many say that it is also very fun and that it is an incredible experience to be able to spend, what seems like an entire lifetime, with a single individual, sharing a lifetime of unforgettable memories, whether they be good or bad. The idea about being in a relationship, or sharing parts of your life with a special someone else, can be equally as terrifying as it is exciting.

The part about letting someone into your world that is terrifying is the fear that once someone truly gets to know you and sees who you are behind closed doors, open doors, slightly open doors, locked doors, or unlocked doors, that you may face rejection. These so-called “flaws,” or aspects of our vulnerable self that we exhibit in many different elements, that will appear in time, may end up resulting in a relationship, or a commitment to someone, disappating.

To a certain extent, every human hides certain characteristics that they may not be proud of, that they may not understand, or that you simply may not be aware of at first glance. These “flaws,” or fundamentally unique facets of other’s personalities, tend to appear after a length of time, often after an individual begins feeling comfortable. While we all attempt to hide these aspects of ourselves that may give strangers, or simply others, a reason to question, pick at, or poke fun at, for as long as we can. Unfortunately, maintaining a facad forever, without showing any signs of vulnerability, including emotional, physical or mental aspects of vulnerability, is simply impossible. In time, you will end up slipping up, or slipping out or your clothing, and you will end up feeling naked and afraid.

The part about love, marriage, falling in love, getting in a relationship, developing a crush, or even showing interest in someone, that is extremely exciting is the idea that you have a support, unless this relationship is completely toxic and abusive, or at least someone to lean on, to hang out with, and to share memories with. It is a very exciting feeling when two individuals are able to come together, no matter how long the relationship carries on, and engage in being vulnerable with one specific person. It feels incredible, because you feel as though your relationship with this person is completely unique and seperate. It also allows you to get to understand, love, and divulge into someone’s life, as you get to be apart of something even more special. The times you share together always seems special, especially when the love is there. It is crazy that in some sense their world also becomes yours, as you feel each other’s emotions and become apart of each other’s lives. The relationship that you share with each other is obviously different than the relationships individual’s share with their close friends, family, pets, best friends, coworkers, etc., as you begin sharing intimate parts of your life with each other. It is just a truly wonderful feeling to know that, regardless of the circumstances, the way the relationship may or may not end, etc., that there is someone, who you are able to share your world with, be yourself around, spend infinite amounts of time together, and make everlasting memories with, that is standing by your side. When you are feeling lonely, sad, or just plain struggling, it can be extremely comforting to know that you have a special someone who is willing to help you out, who loves you, and who wants the best for you.

Becoming intimate and integrating your world with someone is extremely terrifying for me. While the idea of having a relationship and being able to share the world with someone sounds amazing and is something I idealize, this idea also truly scares me and my fear of letting someone in, all while being completely vulnerable, has led to many failed relationships. I am the queen of “almost relationships,” as I have always claimed to be anti-relationship. “I DO NOT WANT TO BE TIED DOWN,” I claim. “I need all the freedom in the world.” Some other excuses include, “what is the point if I am not marrying them?” Or, maybe try, “I do not want to get hurt, because that is a waste of time.”

I have a million excuses and then some more. I claim to be realistic about relationships, when in fact, I am just a little insecure about showing my raw, most genuine self to others. Showing my raw, most genuine self means that others may see, view, criticize, or judge me, the way that I choose to look at myself. I do not have poor self-esteem, per-say. However, I am a severely hard critic on myself, and as a result of me prioritizing my everlasting need to be the best version of myself as much as possible every day, I am afraid, judgemental scared, and insecure about myself when I am not at my best self. This overwhelming need to outwardly and inwardly be my best self is a great “flaw” that I am grateful for, as it assists in keeping me focused on always growing, improving, and to prioritize self-reflection, however, the severity of my irrational fear to allow others to experience facets of myself that I am not even comfortable with, nor do I enjoy witnessing or showcasing, often holds me back from truly allowing someone to get to know me a little deeper. Instead of pulling someone closer, or inviting them inside my reality and existence, I have a consistent track record of finding ways to successfully drive potential personnel’s of interests away by engaging in emotionally immature, or self-destructive, or simply just reckless behavior, in the hopes that these horrible defense mechanisms will push them away. Not only does it end up hurting myself and the other party, but I am often left with a heck of a lot of embarrassing stories, a lot of people who are either unhappy, worried, ashamed, disappointed, and confused by my behavior.

My behavior often varies, as I begin inching away. Sometimes, I will turn to going out with my friends constantly in order to distract myself from the other individual. My favorite behavior to send boys running for the hills is to go out of my way to showcase my ability to be a “party animal,” making reckless decisions and trying to showcase the idea that I am “insane,” “untameable,” and “not girlfriend material.” While I do an excellent job posing as a young adult whose full-time profession is to party, I am actually far from being an “insane party animal,” though in my younger years I could say that I excelled in that area of expertise. Other ways to push individuals away include overbooking my schedule, by getting as many jobs as possible, finding as many hobbies as I can, or basically avoiding them by filling my days with non-stop work and responsiblities, so I can make it seem as though I do not have time for them. One last great way to prevent yourself from ever “settling down,” or being apart of a relationship, is to always “go for” the individuals who are unavailable, whether it be emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, or even as a result of distance. This last tactic is a great way to trick yourself into thinking that what you are pursuing is indeed exciting and fun, however, it gaurantees no need for permanent emotional attachment, or what others would say, any permanent commitment.

This includes myself. I often cringe at all the opportunities in which I held myself back from an opportunity to share a real connection with someone. Sometimes, I wonder if I repel boys, just like mosquito repelent repels boys. I mean I still run around saying that boys have cooties. If they truly have cooties, however, I would like nothing to do with the male race, especially when it comes to dating. I am a HUGE germaphobe and I do not want to contract them.

This fear of not wanting to get hurt, not wanting to get intimate with someone if it will result in pain, heartbreak, or sadness, or not wanting to get involved if this relationship is not going to last forever, are all fears that we all face, whether or not we realize it. For some this fear may not be as relevant, or may not be as severe as some others fears of intimacy, however, the fear will always be there for both parties and all individuals.

A relationship ending or coming to a close, even if it is civil, sucks for everyone, including the person who broke off the relationship. For starters, post-relationship is quite difficult, as you have a lot to adjust to as you begin navigating the world without your partner in crime. A relationship ending brings up emotions that can be correlated with rejection, which always hurts. Not one human being can ever say that being rejected feels good, which is similar to what the end of a relationship feels like. It is not easy to feel these emotions, all while learning to let go of a part of you and re-learning to live again. Often, those in relationships, while this may be general, spend a handful of time with each other and often form routines, hobbies, etc. without even consciously acknowledging these things. It is hard to tell whether letting someone into your life is less painful than letting someone out of your life.

While relationships are often sought after in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, this person could be the “one.” The “one” is the presumable spouse that you will marry, as a result of undying love, undying appreciation, undying support, and undying will to fight for one another and argue with each other. This one person is the one person that, once you tie the knot with, you plan on spending the rest of your life with, through the thick and thin, and through sickness and through health.

As we begin growing older, the question of whether spousehood is in your future seemingly becomes more and more apparent, as we begin witnessing those around us, peers and strangers, tieing the knot, or even shooting out babies from the sky. Do not let the pressure of others actions begin to affect your happiness, well-being and inner peace.

According to a random fact I read on Twitter a few years ago, around 75% of 16-year-olds have already met the person that they are going to marry. I am not quite sure that I believe the statistics behind this study, however, the pressure to find your lawfully wedded husband or wife has certainly become a prominent value within many cultures and societies. I, myself, even find myself wondering for hours on end whether or not marriage is in the picture for me, let alone if I will ever be able to experience a relationship so profound that I am willing to set aside my fear of letting my fears, guards, insecurities, and flaws out in the open for a special individual. This is a scary thought for me, because I am very flawed. While my intentions are often good and come from a good place, the actions and behaviors I engage in from time-to-time are often misunderstood, frowned upon, and sometimes I go too far. For someone to have to see me at my worst frightens me for that person, not as much for myself, as I have witnessed myself not at my best many times. While I may know and be familiar with these behaviors, or flaws, these flaws and behaviors that I try so hard to hide from the world are completely unfamiliar to that special someone, as your flaws, behaviors, and insecurities may cause them to become frustrated with you, may cause a fight, or may result in the end of a relationship, or perhaps a marriage.

Even for those who have been in plenty of relationships, or perhaps a handful of very serious ones only, the idea of whether or not the person that you may or may not be interested in, in a relationship in, or married to, is the one.

While I am no expert at love, let along relationships or marriages, I am aware of what a budding, beautiful and healthy relationship looks like. Admist your overworking brain constantly wondering what your marital status will be and/or who you marital partner may be, do not forget to live in the present and try to grasp every opportunity for a healthy, strong, and motivating relationship with someone, even if you do not end up dating. Even if things end up being extremely casual, do not pass up every opportunity, as a result of closing yourself off by assumming that this person is not “THE ONE.”

The complicated part about finding “THE ONE” is that it does in fact require individuals to kiss many frogs, in order to accumulate the values, beliefs, and morals that you would like to uphold within a relationship. There is no need to make a list of createria of the exact traits that an individual must possess in order for you to even consider breathing next to them, however, having a generalized idea of the kind of individual you are looking for can assist you in avoiding those individuals that may not end up being exactly what you are looking for. Finding the “perfect person,” while there is no “perfect person,” requires a lot of experimentation, just like mastering baking a cake takes a lot of experimentation and practice.

The idea of the “perfect one” is unique to each and every person, as not one person is looking for an individual with all the same qualities as another. We all have our unique tastes, our unique personalities, our unique preferences, etc. While individuals can have similar taste in what they are looking for in their significant other, not one will ever have the same exact taste in individuals as you. This makes the dating, or marriage, world extremely incredible, as well as incredibly difficult to manage to find someone who can so carefully understand you, love you, accept you, and want the best for you.

A sidebar: a “perfect person” will not always do perfect things, however, what makes them perfect, or “THE ONE,” is that person being able to manuever, balance, push, argue, celebrate, love, and show care towards your entire being. Not every tactic this person may use, or not every facet of their personality or their existence, will ever be perfect. This is something that we all need to understand. However, when you find “THE ONE,” and I am sure you will know it, you will realize that their perfection comes from the ability to manuever past the imperfections, without growing exceedingly hateful or spiteful towards each other. This kind of manuevering and relationship dynamic requires strong building blocks, as well as a deep understanding of not only their significant other, but themselves. While you may share a fairly similar world, in a relationship, both parties should have their own seperate existence, without becoming co-dependent on eachother. Relationships often go awry when couples begin merging every aspect and facet of their world around each other, completely neglecting themselves and losing touch with their own identity. Boundaries, honesty, self-love, kindness, humor, and compassion are some of the many features that are essential for a budding, fufilling and happy marriage and/or relationship.

While these questions have begun haunting my mind, soul, and body, I have come to terms with the fact that instead of constantly looking around for “THE ONE,” I need to prioritize looking for “ME.” While I am looking for me and living for me, I am learning to be more in-tune with my true-self. With that said, every relationship begins with yourself. Jumping into a relationship, especially if it is serious, when you are truly unhappy, unsure of yourself, and lack an identity, will end up in turmoil. So, while you may be single and ready for a pringle, or perhaps a Jared diamond ring, spend time getting to know yourself and finding happiness within yourself, because if you spend your entire lifetime searching for someone to make you happy and to tie the knot with and you die unmarried, then you will have died unhappy. Instead of chasing the idea of marriage, let the idea of marriage come to you.
Do not just meet an average guy, who may bring you average happiness, who understands you on an average love, but does not truly make you happy, comfortable, excited, and full of butterflies. Instead, keep your standards high, because you do NOT want to be spending your life with someone who ends up making you miserable, or just does not make you happy. You do not want to spend the rest of your life thinking about how much better your life could have been if you had not married your “average spouse,” nor do you want to spend your life regretting the decision you made in haste in order to fufill a societal timeline, or societal pressures.
Marriage requires patience and the experience is not for everyone, but keeping an open mind is always a good idea, because you never know when you can be swept off your feet.

ALSO, STOP PLANNING OR FOCUSING SO MUCH TIME FINDING YOUR NEXT SIGNIFICANT OTHER, OR A SPOUSE. The most natural, strong, and fruitful relationships and marriages that I have witnessed occurred out of the blue, as you should not try to control an aspect of your life that really should be left up to fate. In addition to this, making a lifelong commitment to someone is no joke, AS IT IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT and NOT A TEMPORARY ONE. Do not rush the process, but feel free to ponder it.

This applies to relationships, as well, whether they are serious or casual. Do not rush into anything that you do not think you are ready for, but also do not hold yourself back by not attempting to make an effort. While a failed relationship hurts, not ever giving it a shot would hurt the most. The pain of a failed relationship sticks for a while, but without that relationship, all the good memories (and, there are always amazing memories) would have never existed.

Relationships, and therefore marriage, are both complex matters, involving the subject matter of love. I may not be an expert at intimacy, however, I am learning and growing. With that said, I am also learning to be patient with myself and realize that not being in a relationship does not make me any less of a person, nor does it make me any less happy than a married individual. With time, I believe that the right people will come along, and I hope that I can find the courage to not hold myself back for fear of truly investing time, emotion, and energy towards an individual, who MAY NOT BE “THE ONE.” How would I know if I do not give it a chance? Life is all about learning and taking chances, so take a leap of faith and try something new.

For those who are in a rush to get married for all the right reasons, I am so happy for you and that you were able to find your “FOREVER PERSON.” That is truly an incredible feat and I am so happy that you are able to spend the life doing what you love, WITH THE PERSON THAT YOU LOVE AND WHO LOVES YOU RIGHT BACK.


If you need any consolation about whether or not you will be spoused up before you die, just look yourself in the mirror and ask, “mirror, mirror, on the wall, will I ever have a spouse at all?”

Do not worry – the mirror will not respond to you. But, your reflection will be staring right back at you.

Wondering where I am going with this? Your reflection, which is yourself, if all else fails, will be the one you marry.

Stop fooling yourselves into thinking your single, when in fact, you are dating yourself since you were a baby. As a result, it is only natural to marry yourself. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS YOU BEST AND WHO HAS KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST.

So, if you are feeling like not taking a risk, try just marrying yourself.

I will not judge you.

I like me, too.

And, may plan on marrying myself…

With that said, with marriage being such a influential aspect of human life, do not stop getting wed, humans!
You know why? Because, weddings are more fun than the party in Project X.

While the consumation of marriage is a beautiful thing, the after-party is definitely the more beautiful aspect of marriage.


Aichan Tewahade

P.S. Do not worry, I understand how exciting the idea of marriage is, especially spending a lifetime with a person that is the light at the end of your tunnel, that compliments your existence, that brings you life, that understands you, and that you can spend every waking moment with making memories with. The best part? You get to live your life with your partner in crime, who you know nothing can tear you away from, because they are just that incredible to you. THIS IS VERY EXCITING AND LOVE IS VERY EXCITING. But, give it time, give it love, and give yourself some love too ♥

Also, never forget that while the idea of dying without ever getting married before you die, even if you so badly wished to be married, does not mean that you will die alone, unhappy, and without experiencing someone loving you to the core. Best friends and family will always love you unconditionally and that is something that you should never forget. Even better? Love yourself right back, then you will never go an entire lifetime without ever feeling the reciprocation of love.
Loving yourself right back to your core is the greatest gift of love that you can give yourself, as well as to others.

Love, while it is a tricky thing, is a very powerful force in our universe. Sometimes, “THE ONE,” (YES, THE “PERFECT ONE”) may not end up being the one you end up marrying, or once again, you may just die without ever having been wedlocked. Understand that marriage, or at least a happy, healthy, and strong marriage, is a very difficult concept and act to be apart of. It should be taken very seriously.
Marriage requires more than the fundamental of “love,” because sometimes, two people who may be completely and utterly in-love with eachother and who want the best for each other, may not end up working out for the long-term. This does not mean that the love was not ever present, or that this relationship was a waste of your time. You may never fall out of love from this person, because this person may have truly been the person that you could truly see yourself settling down with for an entire lifetime.
For some reason, while the love was there, and honestly, it seemed like everything was there, some relationships just do not work out for the long-run. Those are the heartbreaking ones and the ones that truly wreck your world, because it almost seemed like nothing was missing, or the relationship felt completely effortless.

With that said, do not ever give up on love. Not just relationships, marriages, or flings, but the act, idea, and power of love. While love some times tears people apart, love has the power to bring so many individuals together and is the binding force of individuals universally. Love does make you do some crazy things and that is something that every soul should appreciate. These acts, fueled by the intentions of love, are contagious, and of course, extremely powerful.

Live your life following the love brick road, not the yellow brick road. You may never know, you may even end up in Kansas.
That would make life too easy for us, which would be no fun.

According to the word on the street, love can be found in only the strangest of places, so chances are you will probably not find your “perfect love,” or “forever love,” or your future spouse, in a very obvious place. This will require you to do some exploring, some adventuring, some digging, some traveling, or for those of you who are a little freaky, a little stalking.

Let the love come to you, unless you are exceptionally talented in seeking for love which is hiding in the strangest of places. If this is truly one of your skills, then I suppose seek for love in all the strangest of places, but love is not an easy one to find. I will warn you of that! She blends into the world better than a chammolione. All you camo freaks, forget it. Love wears Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak 24/7, 365 days, so love will not be in plain sight for you to find.

Since we have resolved that, focus on manifesting love and channeling it into your life. You may not find a spouse, but you may be ten steps closer to finding a lifelong partner.
(There are no statistical numerrals to back this claim up, so take it with a grain of salt).

Life Hack #26 – Flake Less

“Flake less. Don’t flake off.”

What I mean by this is that you should attempt to flake out on plans as little of times as possible. Following through with your plans, obligations, or any responsibilities for that matter is one of the best qualities that an individual can have – Not to mention, it sends clear signals that you care. Sometimes, it is understandable that we are unable to make obligations or plans, due to outside factors, but making this kind of behavior a negative thing can make it difficult to maintain stability in any aspect of your life. Being a flake sends clear messages that you do not care and that you’re not accountable, which has many repercussions.

Flaking out on plans, or not being consistent, is hurtful, annoying, and can add on unnecessary amounts of stress onto you.

I can say with conviction that I am a flake. Honestly, it is one of my worst qualities and truly hurts others around me. I can make excuses all I want until I die, but no amount of excuses in the world can make up for how frustrating it is for people to get ahold of me, let along try to hang out with me.

In order to avoid being “that flake,” it is important to understand your schedule, your stress levels, and your energy levels, as well as your tolerance to handle hanging out with another person. Similarly, it is important to make sure you take into account your mood, so you do not end up flaking on plans, due to mood swings.

Don’t make plans unnecessarily – this tends to be my problem, as I would love to make time to spend time with all my loved ones as much as possible, all the time. Be realistic and try to make plans in advance, which are the plans that are harder to flake out on.

Be a responsible planner and allocate your time wisely. Also, be sure to take into account the people whose time you may be wasting when you flake out on plans. In addition, you may be hurting someone’s feelings when you do this, as cheesy as that does not sound. People who go out of their way to make plans with you, do this because they genuinely would like to spend time with you. Obviously, if this is not the case, perhaps flaking out on plans may be in your best interest. If someone is investing their time and their excitement to spend time with you, do not let it go to waste. If plans fall through, try to make it up to them.

If you are planning to flake, and you will know when you are not going to end up leaving your bed, be honest and try to notify as in advance as possible. Try to at least be a respectful flake!

For those who cannot help but be flakey, try to convey this message to others and let them know that you are working on getting better with following through with plans and that they should not wait up unless you confirm the plans. I try to let people around me know this, so at least it is on the table. Likewise, if you are just not truly feeling up to it, let them know honestly. There is no need to come up with some big, elaborate lie.

Striving not to be a flake applies to all aspects of your life, including your professional and academic lives.

Being a flake is selling yourself short. Do not be a short flake – it is not cool.


Aichan Tewahade