Letting Go Of Split Ends

I am feeling very cleansed, after I let go of some dead (hair folicle) ends, literally. Sometimes, you just have to let go and lighten your load.
With the new year in full swing, I let go of about 5 inches of hair, along with some toxic energy that came with the hair.

Snipping your hair folicles figuratively imitates the act of cutting the excess toxic energy as your life and can serve as a somewhat therapeutic action.

Change can be great.
And. sometimes all we need is a new haircut to give us the change we need.

New Year, New Haira631bb89-8023-4a0e-baf5-76228480b53fe641c885-8c8c-474f-9322-6ce8810d3abe729c3994-7653-467d-b0d2-95e2cf1b9266fb36129c-c759-444e-97f8-edc4b4688761 What changes do you plan on making on your hair this year?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Update on 2018

Fourteen days ago, when a new year began dawning on us, I was unsure, uneasy, a little uncomfortable, and stressed. Fourteen days later, I am still a little unsure, a little uneasy, a little uncomfortable, and a little stressed.

However, since the year began, to say that nothing amazing or positive has not come my way would be incorrect, as every day, it seems like something has managed to make me laugh, smile, or even catch me off-guard.

While we can never plan out how our days, let along our years, will go by, I have been doing my best to make my days more meaningful, busy, and full of the things that make me happy.

Towards the end of 2017, I must admit I felt blinded by stressors and circumstances that I could not physically change – and, honestly, I found myself in a somewhat negative headspace. Sometimes, when tasks become overwhelming and life may seem a little more difficult, I find myself stuck, unable to think beyond the walls of my stressors.

While I still continuing to work on realizing that there are things in our lives that we can change to make things better, I continue to remind myself daily that I am doing okay, I have so much to look forward to, and that I have so many wonderful people around me that continue to help me and support me – NO MATTER WHAT.

Over the course of the last 14 days, I have accomplished some of my goals (ALREADY), did some pretty cool things, and have experienced many lovely surprises that have caught me off-guard that I would love to share with you!

  1. To begin the year properly, I made a “2018 Intentions Board,” carefully listing my hopes, dreams, aspirations, and areas in which I woud like to improve. While these are fairly vague, in some aspects, I broke down the board into categories of different aspects and facets of life that are relevant to me. From there, I made goals and resolutions, within the categories, which helps me keep my thoughts, goals, and aspirations more organized. This way of organization helps me vizualize areas in which I would like to improve, and breaks every category into subcategories that more carefully detail exactly how I would like to help myself achieve these new years resolutions. Breaking down your goals and New Year’s Resolutions into “smaller” goals assists me in following through with these plans and goals, as they provide a footmap and steps that I need to take in order to stick by these intentions.
    I am positive, as the year progresses, certain aspects of my 2018 intentions board will change. But, an intention board allows one to give each year a purpose and gives one somewhat of a plan for this upcoming year. Feel free to take a look at my 2018 Intentions Board for a more in-depth analysis of my intentions for this year.IMG_5061

One resolution I specifically set out this year to accomplish was to find another job that made me happier, as I found that I was not happy with my previous job. After tireless months of complaining and finding every excuse in the books not to apply for another job, I knew that I could no longer put this goal aside. The work environment I was apart of did not treat me correctly, was very toxic, and began taking a negative toll on my mental health. I am now happy to say that I have found another job; one that makes me happy, and with a company that appreciates my services. I am very happy with my new job!

2.  Another great opportunity came my way earlier this year, when Warby Parker, an eyeglass company, approached me, after coming across my blog! The best part? Someone on their brand management team reached out to me, after accidentally coming across my blog, and was impressed with the content on here of my blog. Honestly, the fact that someone went out of their way to look over my blog, read my articles, and assess my blog, without me mentioning it, is already an accomplishment for me. Beyond that, it was greatly humbling that they mentioned the fact that they truly would like to work with me, seeing as they enjoyed my blog – THIS WAS ONCE AGAIN HUMBLING.
After coming across my blog, the Warby Parker asked me to help them promote and announce their new Spring 2018 collection. This was quite an honor for me and such a great opportunity! When I started my blog a year ago, I would never in a million years thought that someone, or any company, would approach me to help me promote their brand. While Warby Parker is the first and ONLY company, thus far, to ask me to do something of this manner. As the year continues, I would love to partner up with more companies, bloggers, etc., in the new future, through my blog, as this is something I am very passionate about!Processed with VSCO with c1 presetProcessed with VSCO with c1 preset

3. Other fun things that I have taken apart in this year, includes spending time with my family and cousins, who I am all very close with. Family is very important and I love spending time with them, as they help keep me grounded, focused, and happy. My cousins, who are all around my age, mean the world to me. Beyond that, they gave me a sense of calm and happiness just simply by being around them. I love them all so much!ajskdfjkjaskdlfjIMG_4493Screenshot (401)Processed with VSCO with c1 presetProcessed with VSCO with c1 preset
AND, I have been spending too much time (if that is possible), with my dog, Kiki, who is basically family! img_4853

4. I also made a few trips down to Denver, Colorado, where I did some exploring and found some incredible murals that are pictured below. IMG_4892IMG_4891IMG_4888IMG_4887Processed with VSCO with c1 preset

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4. In addition, I went on my first hike of the year with my brother! We hiked up the infamous Flatirons and got a great workout in! IMG_4944IMG_4951IMG_4960img_4433img_5109
And, we also took a stroll down Pearl Street Mall, visiting the beautifully lit Boulder court house and took a detour into Lush.img_4064img_4088

5. I found some time to engage in some relaxation time, as well! Or, celebrating, whichever you would like to call it!IMG_4547OWLI6026.jpegProcessed with VSCO with f2 preset

6. As if life could not get any better, my parents also surprised me with a new book called “A Book That Takes Its Time,”which is a book about mindfulness. It is not just a regular book, but contains journals, stickers, posters, activities, etc., which I am excited to dive into! While I could not take a picture of every activity, page, etc., I provided a preview below of the content within the book, and tried to showcase the nature of it! I am so excited to dive into it! For those who are interested in purchasing the book, click here! The book is avaible on Amazon for $14.98 and is worth every penny – I would 10/10 recommend.
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7. The conversations I’ve had with my friends, THUS FAR, in 2018, have been nothing short of amazing. While many of my friends are away, live in different states, etc. I have been reconnecting and staying in touch with those around me. I have had some of the funniest conversations, as well as some heartwarming ones. It is always nice to stay in touch with friends and giggle with eachother – even from miles away. I LOVE THEM AND MISS THEM A LOT.img_5118
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8. Lastly, I came across a surprise in my email about a day ago and it was completely unexpected. While I was working my other food-service job, I came across a gentleman (who I unfortunately do not remember), but nonetheless, we must have engaged in conversation when he came into to order his food. “WOW” are the only words that come to mind when I came across this, as there are not many males my age even willing to do something like this, or even speak so kindly towards me. This email, whether I am interested in pursuing him or not, resonated with me, as not many people go out of their way to do this and be so kind. I really do even know how to phrase this – but, let’s just say, this is a pretty incredible gentleman. Needless to say, I am flattered, humbled, and just “WOW.” This email has been one of the kindest surprises that has come my way and I am truly blown away. 

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To say that 2018 has not been treating me well would be a lie, while I still find myself in somewhat of an exsitential life crisis, I have found that there have been many exciting, amazing, surprising opportunities that I have encountered and memories that I have already made. It is crazy to think that this year just started.

Even though 2017 was only fifteen days ago, so much has already begun changing and evolving. Whether or not it is because it is a new year, it is because of good karma, or if it is because I have taken the power to make positive changes in my life, 2018 has thrown me some wonderful, wonderful surprises and I have found myself in a much happier, calm space. Not that my life is much different than it was in 2017, but 2018 has truly handed me some free diamonds and surprises – none of which I ever expected!

I would love to hear how everyone else’s 2017 is going, what you have been doing, the good things that have come your way in 2018, and if you have an intention board to share!
I hope 2018 has been treating you nice, as well 
😊

xo,

Aichan Tewahade


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Dear 2017,

I know I say this every year, but this was supposed to be MY year to be good at life and to “bounce-back” from last years mistakes. You went by like a breeze when I look at you from far away, but up-close and every day, you were the hardest thing I ever had to deal with.

To say that 2017 began on the note that I would have liked is a misconception, in fact, I began my year in a hospital, due to anxiety, overwhelming amounts of stress, so much so that I was put into a state of confusion, and just left lost. Of course, other events exasperated the issue – but, to say it was not tough, was, and is, an understatement. I also began this year with some cyberbully, something I do not condone by any means, and it left me feeling truly hurt. Yet again, someone had found their way onto my Facebook page anonymously leaving a poorly written, gramatically incorrect status on my page, as me. This has happened so many times now that I have stopped counting. Of course, this ruffled some feathers, as well. Needless to say, I was pretty beaten down.

This year was tougher than any other year, because I had finally truly grasped my own reality, trauma included. And, the list of trauma that I had endured the past four years, or my whole life, was quite extensive and triggers me even thinking about it. If there is one thing I am thanking 2017 for is assisting me to find outlets to relieve my stress and embarrassment that I faced from my traumas. I would also like to thank each, and every single individual that expressed love, exerted happiness towards me, and believed in me, each and every day. The support I received from SO many individuals makes me cry tears of happiness, as I truly felt lost, trapped in my own thoughts, and stuck. I began this year with a fairly weak support system, and now here I am, with a whole squad on my back.

I find every year an adventure full of surprises and unexpected events, and though my negativity clouded much of the good moments, I must say I did overcome a lot. This year has taught me that I need to learn to be with myself, as much as I preach it. I still feel uncomfortable with the silence and the simplistic aspects of my life, as stability is a new-found theme of my life. Instead of constant partying and seeking acceptance from others, I am looking to lead a life full of simplicity, happiness, smiles, coloring, hardwork, school, friendships, photography, hiking, cooking and crafting. Allowing the simplicity back into my life forced me to deal with my MANY inner demons, and it is truly uncomfortable from time-to-time.

As I am recovering from what seems like the most self-destructive four years, I have finally found parts of who I am, that I seemed to have misplaced, admist all the drama and nonesense within my life. While I am still a work in progress, I have found peace knowing that deep-down I am still the same old, happy soul I once was. The abuse, the trauma, the bullying, etc. did make me skip a step, or ten, but I found out that I was still the person I was missing. Aspects of my youthful soul were ripped out of my heart and taken away from me, and life felt pretty personal. I forgot how you are not supposed to take life so personal, but call me sensitive.

Today, even to this day, as this years begins coming to a close, I am still in shock, simply because I was so lost this year, I did not know where I was going to end up by December. Aspects of my life were spiraling out of control and I could not control them, so I just had to deal with my emotions and take it milli-second by milli-second. Now, I am sitting here realizing that the best thing 2017 brought me was courage and self-determination. While struggling with all these problems, I still managed to find the courage to take on the world and accomplish some of the goals I had made for myself. I still remember setting those goals and thinking, “this is NOT possible for me.”

This year, I had to change my thought process, if I truly wanted to grow and heal. To say that my thought process was healthy is a very falsified statement. With my ADHD, six types of ADD, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, numerous phobias, OCD, PTSD, my thought processing is a bit out-of-whack to say the least. The world is still a very scary place for me, as I wiggle my way back into what a “normal life” means. I still sweat my balls off every time I leave my apartment for fear that something may go horribly wrong, yet I am still sweating my balls off in my apartment, because I cannot stand my repetitive negative thoughts and get all up in my head. It is all still confusing, but every day, as much as I can, I STILL try and challenge myself. Some days are easier than others, OBVIOUSLY, but it is all hard, not just for me, but for evreyone.

I learned that I cannot always take home the “W” in 2017 – talk about a piece of humble pie. No, I know I am overtly competitive, but this year was full of more “L’s” than there were “W’s” sometimes. That is okay, though. It certainly sucks not to get your way, but with my diagnoses, I do enjoy a little drama and frustrations, as it helps light a fire under my ass. Taking losses is definitely not as easy as it looks, as we all yearn for success and to be the best, most successful forms of ourselves. I had to work hard, constantly feeling like I was battling a fight that I was never going to win. But, once again, this just required changing my thought processing and behavioral techniques. Instead of falling to the wayside and giving up, I often found myself pushing past my boundaries, and finding strength and a will to want to live deep within me that kept me going all-year.

While this year most certainly had its ups and its downs, this was the very first year I was completely indepedent; independent of roommates, independent financially, indepedent academically, emotionally independent. Independent is where I began, and I built on this cobblestone, and will keep building on it until I die. Learning to be independent is uncomfortable, frustrating, annoying, boring, emotional, awesome, and everything in between, but it is most certainly not easy. In order to be indepedent, you must possess the skills to not only be willing to do things by yourself, but be self-motivated enough to actually execute them. Nope, thinking long and hard about an assignment will not get it done. And, yup, you do actually have to do it. This took a while for it to sink in for me, as I am still struggling to juggle all these responsibilities, all while taking care of myself. When you are independent, your parents or guardians are no longer nagging you, or forcing you, to do things. You need to find this will within yourself. Being independent, just like 2017, has its ups and downs, but is something I am truly proud of accomplishing. I truly had to rely on myself, making my own shoulder, the primary shoulder to cry on.

I deemed this year “the year of upgrades.” Considering where I began, I know I have upgraded. I realize upgrades do not happen overnight, though, and that patience is most certainly a virtue. Upgrades did happen and are happening even before my eyes, currently. I predict upgrades in the future, but for now, I must learn to be happy with where I am in my life. Yes, this year was not spectacular sometimes, and I did have to settle, but I learned so much that I do not think it matters. Sometimes, I want to expedite the whole process, but in order to truly change, it takes time.

When I look back and realize how many people I simply interacted with and built relationships this year with, I cry, realizing how blessed I am. Realizing how much human beings need other human beings’ energies was a vital aspect of life that I learned this year. No matter how happy you may be with yourself, human beings crave and need other human beings to achieve happiness. The amount of happiness that certain individuals bring to me and care for me is phenomenal, and it took almost having most of my loved ones ripped away from me to realize how much their support meant to me. I found support in the slyest of places, not even expecting or even believing that I deserved this amount of support and love. This is when I realized that instead of being mad at the world by myself, I could do it in the company of others – JUST KIDDING. I learned to embrace the love – something I normally avoid, and honestly, makes me uncomfortable. Oh, to be loved…I generally do not know how to handle it, but it is truly humbling. To all that do not even realize how much your endless amount of unspoken or spoken support has helped and encouraged me to continuing growing, I thank you. For those who believe me and shower me with love, even when I do not feel I deserve it, I also thank you. And, to myself, who I shower with self-doubt, I still thank you for deep-down loving myself and realizing my potential.

Most importantly, I would like to thank 2017 for my health, my happiness, my mental health, awareness, my support system (family, extended family, friends, and loved ones), my endless supply of clothing, the number of opportunities life has presented me, my education, my financial stability, the roof over my head, and all the blessings and hardships life has handed me. I learn every year that life is not that easy, but I am constantly learning new things every day, making life a little bit easier to deal with. MOST, MOST IMPORTANTLY, I want to thank 2017 for making me so uncomfortable I finally started the blog I always wanted to. I thank every reader, follower, viewer, whoever, who gives my voice and opinion the time of day. Creating a blog has been a dream of mine for centuries, and I was full of self-doubt and was not sure how much of a hit it would be. I am approaching almost a full-year of starting up this blog that I named indulgeyourlife.wordpress.com/ and it turned out to do some powerful, therapeautic things for me, as well as others. This, in itself, was one of the biggest highlights of 2017 for me. I love what I do, and I hope you do too!

I can only say that I am sure 2018 will be just as rocky, full of upsides and downsides, as this year was. But, every year is different, because of the new memories, new experiences, new relationships, and new opportunities we encounter. So, with that said, I can already taste 2018 in my mouth, and while it may not be drastically different than this year, I sense some upgrades coming in the future, and more goals that are going to be met.

2018 – HERE WE COME. 2017 – YOU HAVE BEEN ONE HELL OF A RIDE.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade