May The Fourth Be With You

Friday, May 4, 2018 was a beautiful day, ending on a sweeter note than it began.

I woke up at approximentally 7:05 a.m. Mountain Standard Time, and the sun had just began peeking its’ head out of the clouds, as the sun’s UV rays began penetrating the Earth, providing warmth and light for the natural world.

It truly began as a normal day, as I woke up to the sound of the season finale of the sixth season of Grey’s Anatomy. The episode was fairly dramatic, as the season finale of the sixth season of Grey’s Anatomy depicted a shooting within their hospital.
Normally, in the morning, I do not pay close attention to the sounds that my laptop is making, as it often serves as background noise. This episode seemingly caught me off-guard and captivated me so much that I was inclined to pay thorough attention to this heart-wrenching episode.
Not going to lie, I found myself tearing up during many parts of the episode.

As the season finale came to an end and another season of Grey’s Anatomy began playing, as if nothing had happened, I slowly began getting ready for the day ahead of me, which included a very brief shift at Camp Bow Wow and doing a whole lot of smiling, anxiety, and friends.

Starbucks has become a staple for me, as my venti matcha green tea soymilk latte exemplifies my existence. The clock struck 8:20 a.m. MST and I slowly began gathering my thoughts, feelings, existence, and lazy booty down three blocks. The greatest part about my apartment is the fact all the restaurants, bars, liquor store, etc. are all on the same side of the sidewalk that I live on. Without crossing the street, I have the ability to purchase alcohol, groceries, food from a structured menu, go to a bank, go to a barber shop and get a haircut, and even get my brows waxed, shaped, etc. It is incredible!

At 8:34 a.m., I found myself at the front of the line at Starbucks, as the cashier carefully charges me for my lifechanging drink.
“I have a venti matcha green tea latte with soymilk for….I do not know how to say this name,” announces the barista.
I am quick to react, as I approach the counter with my drink rather swiftly.
“Oh, how do you say your name?,” she asks. “Excuse me for not being able to pronounce your name correctly.”

“My name is Aichan, and it is pronounced *eye* *chin*,” I respond. “It is no worries.”
She carefully repeats the pronunciation of my name, as if she was to never forget it for next time.

Venti matcha green tea latte in one hand, all while hunger is on my mind.
“What to eat? What to eat…,” I wonder to myself.

I barely make it down the block before encountering a sandwhich shop called Deli Zone, in which two gentlemen are sitting in front of. I was honestly not expecting Deli Zone to be open, but to my pleasure, Deli Zone is open!
I wonder if a sandwhich even sounds good, but glance at the breakfast sandwhich menu that is pasted on the window for passerbyers to see.
It does not seem busy and a breakfast sandwhich sounds better to me than starving this morning, so I took a chance.

Deli Zone served me my bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwhich in less than seven minutes, which gave me plenty of time to wander home, indulge in some food, and then get ready for work at 11:00 a.m.

The sandwhich went down very easily and I see many bacon, egg, and cheese sandwhiches from Deli Zone in my future.

As the clock approaches 10:35 a.m., my coworker, who is an angel, calls me to inform me that she has “just pulled up,” as she was my ride to work. “Take your time, dude,” she exclaims, and I almost found myself truly taking my time, before realizing that the phrase expired in about four minutes. My opportunity for a ride to work almost seemingly expired right in front of my eyes, as I began four different projects in a matter of a 10 second phone conversation.
I was able to stop myself, before I began engaging in any of these activities, as I acknowledged the blessing of a free ride to work and the lack of judgement that I would experience for an unbrushed set of hair folicles.

Work was exciting and a joy to clock into, as one of my favorite dogs, or my DOG boyfriend, August West was checked in for a full-day of daycare, allowing me four hours to spend showering Auggie, or August, with all the love and the care that I could possibly exude.
Auggie’s smiling face is a sight that I never want to take for granted, as it brings me so much joy, happiness, peace, love, and laughs. Auggie, among a handful of other dogs that I have considered my favorites, make every day that I wake up worth it, and they give me a reason to wake up every morning and LIVE LIFE.

While I would have loved to spend my entire four hour shift in the dog yards, playing with Auggie, that just did not happen to be the case, as I was assigned to execute five dog baths before the end of my shift.
Hillary, my manager, is ONE OF MY FAVORITE HUMANS EVER and she knows how much I LOVE giving dog’s baths, so she assigns me to dog bathing duties whenever she gets the chance. Having a manager who truly cares for you, is hilarious, kind, compassionate, and hard-working, and HAS THE MOST HANDSOME DOG EVER, is a blessing that I will never actively try to take advantage. A manager who works hard to keep the staff happy, healthy, and on-task is essential, but it is unfortunately not something that comes with every job. This is one of the first jobs, where a manager has gone out of their way to recognize and acknowledge my likes and my dislikes when it comes to job duties, as well as one of the first jobs where a manager has gone out of their way to attempt to assign chores, responsibilities, and duties, based on my own personal feelings.

My life has been full of giving a variety of dog’s baths, as I smother them with shampoo, conditioner, and warm water.
It has also been full of long hours interacting with the Pet Dryer, which 98% of the dog’s hate, and attempting to manipulate the dog’s to sit through getting dryed by a blow dryer with a handful of dog treats.
“Whose a good girl? You are a good girl,” I exclaim to them. For all the males in the house, I find myself exclaiming, “Whose a good boy? YOU ARE A GOOD BOY.”
These dog baths have left me covered in dog fur, as most of the dogs are currently shedding their winter coats. Sometimes, the excess fur even made its’ way into my mouth, which I found completely unnatural.

After finishing my shift at work, I wandered over to the nearest Wells Fargo, in order to pull out some cash dollars for spending.
Post Wells Fargo, I found myself at my friend, Shannon’s, apartment, where we caught up with the drama of our lives. Shannon is a dog owner, actually. In fact, she has the cutest husky ever named, Sadie, who can light up an entire room in seconds.

An hour with Shannon was not enough time for either of us to fully catch eachother up on our lives, but we were able to cover some of the bases.
When I first met Shannon, I did not think that a true friendship would end up evolving, however, as I have spent more and more time with her, I have found that her company and her existence is something that I would like to keep close to me.

At around 6:00 p.m. MST, I found myself in my studio apartment, listening to the dramatic sounds of Grey’s Anatomy.
I took a shower and began reaching out to friends, family, and acquitances.
It is always good to catch up with the people in your life, but it is even better when someone else reaches out to you that you did not expect.

As I mindlessly texted my family a fairly long update on my current life, I received a Facebook message from someone who I did not expect would ever reach out to me. Even after processing the message and who had sent it to me, I thought for a second that it was a joke. But, regardless of if it was a joke or not, I figured that the message caught me off-guard, made me smile, and was a nice gesture, so I prompted a response.
Surprisngly, the response I received addressing my response to his original message was just as sincere as I had not imagined.
The message was essentially an invitation to a concert, in which one of my best friend’s manages. The individual who invited was not my best friend, but the artist himself, which prompted me to immediately buy tickets to support their concert, their success, and their passion.

The message from the artist further prompted me to text my best friend from middle school, who I had not seen or talked to legitimately for over a year.
I honestly did not expect a response from him, as he may be worse at texting and using his phone than I may be. This essentially means that I seriously never get a chance to speak with him, even though I love him so much!
BUT, REGARDLESS OF MY DOUBTS, AN IMESSAGE RESPONSE FROM MY BEST FRIEND WAS WHAT I GOT.

“Aichan!”

“How did we meet?”

Not only did my best friend grace me with one iMessage that clearly spelled out my name and included an exclamation mark, but he had double messaged me, which was something that he rarely did and often yelled at me for.

So, I told him the story of the beginning of our friendship, which lead to a conversation that was much needed for our friendship.
It had been over a year since I had truly had a conversation with this friend of mine, who, no matter what he does, manages to put a smile on my face.
It is honestly incredible that this best friend of mine has managed to stay in my life for over eight years. It is even more incredible to me that this person that I am so blessed to have in my life is able to find time, enough care, and enough love to always find a way to look out for me.

It is a rare, but incredible day when he responds to my iMessage for longer than five minutes, but it is an even better day when we share an actual conversation in regards to our feelings, our lives, etc.
As he confides in me the anxiety he is facing and the emotions that are beginning to hit him as a result of finishing his undergraduate career, I find myself reminding him how amazing of a person he is, how many GREAT memories we have shared together, and how much his own advice and his existence brings so many people SO MUCH JOY.
This best friend of mine, who we can call “MJ,” is one of the only people in my life that I truly listen to and hold to a high regard.

It is not every day that you meet someone so exceptional that their existence does not anger you, but instead the longer that I have known this person, the more fond I have found myself of him.
I am not very honest about my emotions and inner demons, especially with my peers or anyone who is NOT me. However, MJ has managed to break down my emotional walls and has allowed me to find comfort in his friendship, as I can always trust him with my life.

This conversation with MJ was much needed, as we finally shared a meaningful conversation about EVERYTHING. MJ even made me watch the 43 minute TMZ segment interview with Kanye West. At first, I was caught off-guard by his attention towards Kanye, as I figured that MJ did not appreciate, love and worship him as I do.
Even eight years and a few months later, we still find new things to come together about, which is an element of friendship that is often rare to experience.

This conversation almost served as a prayer that had been answered, as I have been craving for some time with MJ.
It was a little ironic that with the close of his undergraduate career that we were finally able to execute the conversation that I had been wishing for.
As we reminisced over our youthful days, I reminded MJ that the end of his undergraduate collegiate career only marks the end of another chapter within our lives. My friendship with MJ has experienced the opening and closing of many chapters within my life, including middle school, high school, hoodrat shenanigans, trouble, and our collegiate chapter.
I reminded him that coming to the end of his undergraduate collegiate career was no different than the end of his middle school career and his high school career.

While fear and uncertainty cloud individuals in all stages of their life, it is important to celebrate, acknowledge, and fight for the consistently positive and stable aspects of your life. It is important to hang onto as much consistentcy as possible, and with consistency hopefully comes something that brings you unlimited amounts of happiness, positivity, and honesty. Hopefully, the consistency within your life also gives you people, who are constantly looking out for you and rooting for you, which results in something worth fighting for!

Today was a good day! Today restored some faith in me that the world still remains the kindest place on this planet.

Happy Friday to all and a jolly weekend to all. Never stop trying to fight for more goodness within your life & stop surrounding your thoughts with so much self-doubt.

We all have something incredible to offer the world and I am lucky to experience the incredible that you have to offer the world.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Starting Fresh

Sometimes, you just need to rip the bandaid off and just accept your life circumstances, whatever they may be. Sometimes, this requires eating the biggest slice of humble pie, and other times it requires you to indulge in the biggest slice of real pie. However, you cope with it, sometimes you need to “start fresh.”

How can you “start fresh” when you are still exactly where you were two minutes ago, questioning your life, you may ask. My response is by letting go, releasing some tension, realizing your reality, and by having a good, positive attitude about it.

I am ripping my bandaid off really quickly, and starting fresh and having a better outlook on my current life circumstances. I am also letting go, or working on letting go of some old demons, and doing some personal cleansing myself. I have an even lighter perspective on life, as I realize I cannot change many circumstances that life has handed me recently.

Sometimes, you need to be beat down for a little bit to pick up your game – NOT LITERALLY OF COURSE. Life has it’s ways of showing you it still cares for you, through small daily reminders you may not catch. But, sometimes it showers a little harder than you anticipated.

Sometimes, I wish I could change the weather to match my mood and excitement, and recently, I figured out that I could not do that. I forget sometimes that Spring should be full of rain and downpours, literally and figuratively. I honestly wish I could change a lot about my life sometimes, but then I realize that a time machine is impossible and realize that our experiences make us learn special, individualistic things, unique to each and every one of us.

So, coming to terms with things can be difficult at times, and may make you hesitate at the thought of giving life your all. That is okay. Similarly, coming to terms with your current reality is something that may take months, years, even centuries. And, that also is okay. We all take as much time as we need and go through the motions of acceptance at different paces. Some of us linger, some of us do not linger. In addition to accepting life, we also need to take it on with a good attitude. All these steps amount to a sudden realization that your reality is your reality, in addition to, having a profound interest in wanting to make things better for yourself.

Sometimes, we lose track of our happiness amidst all of our problems. And, we forget to kick life in it’s ass. Sometime,s we all even need a shakedown in order to achieve this new, positive way of thinking.

Having a brand new attitude about your current, stable reality will bring a whole new light to your life, and allow you to think beyond your comfort zone. I promise you will start feel like a brand new person, and like your whole world is your oyster. It is a great feeling. Starting fresh with a new attitude, a rested mind, clear head, and a positive attitude is an awesome way to start every day. So, why not make that possible for yourself? Do not let yourself be held back from life’s beauty and its’ endless opportunities.

Whenever you come across this post, I invite you to take a minute to rip that band aid off, start fresh, and begin with a new attitude. You will feel like the best version of yourself. You become more willing to take risks and are able to look beyond your circumstances and problems, some of which are easily fixed. Similarly, you will want to make the initiative to make things better, or to bring more change into your life. These are at least my hopes.

If you can handle even most of the most heartbreaking experiences with a smile left on your face and a clear, healthy perspective, you have already won the game of life. Some days it may not be easy to accept your life, and some days you may feel stuck. Do not let yourself get stuck, by giving life your all even on the days where it is hard to leave your bed. You better start believing that a whole new attitude and a simple perspective change will lead to eternal glory and happiness. You will not regret it.

Leave that old attitude behind, and join me in starting fresh.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #6 – Look Back At It!

Every once in a while, it is important to take a step back, look at the life you have created for yourself, and your current reality, and count your blessings. They say, “never look back,” but sometimes looking back is alright, in moderation, of course!

Do not spend too much time lingering on the past, but sometimes it can truly be rewarding and exciting to take a look at how far you have come, even in the last few days. Every day, we should be growing, learning, and experiencing, and as a result, growing and learning from our experiences. Or, at least that is what I think.

Looking back can in a sense put a positive, motivating perspective and incentive in front of you, as you take a look back at how much the small steps to making changes are making a difference. You have incentives to continue growing when you look back, as we all want to keep growing and adapting to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Looking back not only allows us to build incentives to continue growing, but it also provides us a sense of awareness. As you look back on things you may consider errors, or things you may have been successful at, or maybe things you want to change about yourself, you build a sense of awareness for not only yourself, but an awareness of others and your daily environments. Looking back on things can truly allow you to unlock your brain, allowing you to access your deepest thoughts. Two of the biggest things that scare individuals of all ages and genders is the past and the future. While looking back can be seen as not being mindful, I think that it is healthy to reminisce or not reminisce about things that have occurred in the past.

Once again, looking back for too long will not only strain your neck, but it can be damaging towards your personal well-being. You do not want to stay hung up on the same issues for years – you want to be able to move on and leave some baggage behind. I believe in a healthy moderation that looking back can allow you to truly access some repressed memories and feelings, and in return, allow you to move forward. Sometimes, in order to move forward, you must go backwards.

If you do not spend time addressing things that you are simply putting off, the burden of holding your emotions in and addressing the issue will build up inside of you. In turn, you will face some long-term consequences from this behavior. As much as we wish to simply silence our worries and fears for the future and the past, I have learned that this is simply impossible. This can mean taking two steps back when you were making progress, to even just simply speaking about the past. As humans, we will all face hardships in our pasts that we barely speak of and experience failures; these are inevitable parts of life. Allowing myself to personally access memories of the past that I have been repressing for years, was one of the most healthiest things I could ever do. Some people do not like talking about their past or their hardships, and I am one of those people. I spent many years repressing this information and my emotions, which in turn led to many self-destructive behaviors and a lack of stability within my life, as I had picked up negative coping mechanism skills. However, by falling back and looking back, I was able to move forward, continue growing, and continue challenging myself every day. Looking back at it can be challenging, but sometimes it is the only way to move forward.

Do not let your past haunt you, but be willing to speak about it to your nearest source of trust and learn to handle your past with care, and with a positive, motivating outlook. Taking a step back every once in a while to recognize your past and how much you have grown is an amazing feeling. Sometimes, the past may be filled with harsh, crude memories, but do not let it cloud your mind. Unlocking your past is one of the most proactive ways of moving forward, because as I said before, you need to look back, in order to move forward. Ignoring your past, which may or may not have included hardships, will lead to a life full of a lack of self-awareness, a lack of motivation, and will lead to behaviors that may become detrimental to your life. Do not dwell too long on your past, but spend time acknowledging it for however long feels necessary. This is important in the game of growth and personal happiness. Looking back serves more purpose than one.

I just took a full month to simply look back at how far I have come in the last few days, even the last six months, and the growth is exponential. I truly think the most rewarding part about thinking about the past is looking at my own personal growth, and not ignoring the things that I need to work on in different aspects of my life. I may need to work on a lot of things, as we are all human, however, I have more of a sense of the importance of getting in touch with my past. We all need something to compare ourselves to something, and while comparing ourselves to others is not a viable option, our past-version of ourselves is a great viable option.

Though you may not acknowledge it, even in the last 24-hours you have changed a little bit, just due to the fact that you have gained more experience just by living. The growth may not be exponential or noticeable, but humans are constantly changing, adapting and growing just simply by living out their daily routines. Sometimes, we like to compare our current version of ourselves to a version of ourselves from years ago, or even days ago. This is a good game you can play with yourself. Thoroughly examining your past during various points in your life, and asking yourself questions about what you used to be like, who your friends were, what your hobbies were, etc. allows you to gain a certain understanding about the kind of person you are, the kind of company you keep, what is important to you, what your skills are, etc. It truly allows you some time to think about your priorities, as well, among other positive things. In addition, it allows you to gauge what aspects of your life you have grown in, as well as, to acknowledge areas where improvement is needed or has not been made. Please, do not even bother trying to compare yourself with others. If you maybe see traits in others that you may respect or would like to work on, than that is different. When comparing yourself to a past version of yourself, a great tip is to think of the most ideal, or a loosely perfect, version of yourself. What do you see? Do you see a positive, outgoing person? A more secluded, happier version of yourself? Do you see a person constantly surrounded by people? What are traits you would like to exude and work on? These are all questions you can ask yourself. The more you examine yourself and continue to experience, the more answers you will get for yourself

Being self-aware allows for less surprises in the long-run, as certain behaviors or tendencies that may be negative or positive will soon become acknowledged, and hopefully allow for some room to change. This self-awareness extends onto others, as you become more self-aware about the way you make others feel. If you are constantly negative, acknowledging and changing that habit will not only make you feel better, but it will also make others feel better. I believe that being self-aware allows you to become the most comfortable, most confident version of yourself. This comfortability and confidence will exude onto others. Note that the sooner you are happier with yourself, the sooner you can begin making others exceedingly joyous.

Gauging your past should be done with a trusted source, and also a person who can emotionally, physically, and mentally be present, who also is able to help. Some situations in our past are bigger than you, your friends, and even your parents. That is okay, though. There are resources out there that allow you to seek professional help, if that is what is needed. Also, seeing a therapist is something I would recommend to anyone, because who does not love blowing off some steam? I certainly do.

The real question now is why not look back @ it?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

A.M. Rituals

There’s something about starting every morning with something meaningful and unique to oneself. Whatever it is, morning rituals are important to everyone. Even if you do not even think about it, we all have a set of steps that we follow each morning to guide us in the right direction and get us in the mood to attack each and every day.

Mine is dictated by music, a cup of coffee (sometimes a huge one!) and donuts, showering, and blogging. I usually try to color, hike and write a daily list of blessings when I have the time, as well. I keep my mornings fairly simple for the most part, but also fairly active. The other day I went to the sauna, and some days I go through filtering through my emails. Some days, my daily morning rituals are cycled in for new hobbies that I would like to discover, so truly morning rituals can be dependent on the day and what you personally feel like. But, for the most part, the coffee and donuts are incorporated.

I try to make my mornings a time to get pumped up and hyped for my day that’s about to steamroll by.

Some people may stretch, others may go to the gym, some of us make a cup of tea and wind down – it’s all unique and personal to each and every one of us.

Sometimes, we need to switch up our morning rituals, as our needs become different, due to uncontrollable outside forces, such as a different work schedule, changing time zones, late nights out, new class schedules, etc.

It is important to set time aside for yourself in the morning, since I believe that it is the time that we all have the most energy flowing within us and when we can think the clearest, since our minds have yet to be clouded by our day’s messes and stressors. Mornings are also big dictators for our mood the rest of the day sometimes. Therefore, how we spend our mornings is important to each and every one of us.

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Making your mornings a priority just for yourself is something I would recommend. I love being a morning person – I feel like I get the most out of my days waking up early in the morning. Plus, it leaves me with more time to adventure, be curious, and live. I always notice how much I appreciate my mornings when I have to work early, or only during my mornings. I honestly believe that spending time making morning rituals are important for your own personal sanity!! There’s nothing I hate more than sitting with myself bored and not sure what to do with my mornings.

Cycling in other activities into your mornings can be fulfilling. Whether you like your mornings jam-packed with activities or full of lounging, depends on your mood, your personality, and your general energy levels. Keeping my mornings simple is a personal preference.

Either way, mornings are a great time to spend with yourself, accomplishing small tasks, lounging, and being with yourself. If you are beginning to get to know yourself, starting with spending your mornings independently is a great step!

Cherish your mornings and make them fun! We only have so many! What are your morning rituals?

xo,

Aichan Tewahade