1. Don’t beat yourself up – you already have society and strangers who will do that for you.
2. No matter who you are or what you are – someone is going to be envious of something that you have, who you are, your skills (basically something about your existence) that they just may not be born with, are capable of achieving, or lack the skill set to perform.
3. No matter what you or others tell you – you always have something unique to offer the world.
4. Someone out there appreciates you other than yourself, even if it is just your mom, your pet, or that incessant mosquito that won’t stop sucking your blood.
5. Instead of spending your time inefficiently and unenjoyably hating on yourself, try to make the best of life and enjoy your time by just appreciating yourself. Life is short, spending it efficiently is vital.
6. Everyone hates their face to a certain degree and question their own beauty, including Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian. Once again, instead of spending your time and life inefficiently hating your face, accept that this is what you look like. Literally, look at the mirror. Look at yourself. Keep looking. Then, realize your reflection is a fairly accurate reflection of your face. Accept that, even with plastic surgery, you look the way that you do. Once you have looked at yourself in the mirror enough and have processed what you physically look like, you can begin accepting your appearance rather than hating it. Just tell yourself, “Well, this is me. This is what I look like. Yup, that’s it. This is what I look like. I may as well accept that this is what my face looks like now because this is reality and this is what my face legitimately looks like.” After a few trials of processing what your face generally looks like, you won’t run into as many surprises when you look at yourself in the mirror. The less surprises, the better.
7. When you love yourself, you tend to love others more. Often, showering them with love, happiness, kindness and compliments.
8. Genetically speaking, there is NO ONE ELSE in the world that looks exactly like you.
9. When you love yourself, you radiate and glow without having to have to become pregnant.
10. It feels nice to like yourself and show off your skills, assets and existence to other people confidentially.
11. When you spend less time criticizing yourself and loving yourself, you spend less time critiquing others around you.
12. When you love yourself, there is nothing holding you back from opportunities, risks, etc. other than yourself.
13. Loving yourself allows you to grow, expand and flourish as a person.
14. It is seriously painful and gruesome to spend time feeling insecure and obsessing about small facets of yourself that you hate or believe are flawed, especially when you are out with others, at work, or even when you are spending time with your friends.
15. What you see in the mirror is not the way that others see you. While you may see chewbaca, others see Princess Leia.
16. When you love yourself, you know how to take a compliment without making subtly attempting to fish more compliments out of each other.
17. Loving yourself allows you to be more accepting of yourself. You learn how to be channel a genuine self, without the feeling of upkeeping an image.
18. Loving yourself means that you are comfortable spending time by yourself. Call me a narcissist, but I am great company for myself.
19. When you love yourself enough, you magically gain the ability to have some sensible humor and can actually not only make good jokes about your flaws or mistakes, but you are able to take a joke about yourself.
20. You have a lifelong, 5ever friend that you can always count on (a.k.a. yourself). You will never be without a friend when you are your own best friend.
21. YOU DO NOT NEED TO CONSTANTLY BASE YOUR SELF WORTH OFF OF YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA. YOU WILL NOT EVEN HAVE TO BASE YOUR LIKES, INTERESTS, AND “OUTWARD IMAGE” ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Yes ma’am and/or sir, you can finally trying so hard to maintain your image, whether it be on social media or off-line. While social media is great and you can present your life as cool as you would like to, this will no longer be necessary, as you will find out that your life is already cool enough and does not need to be broadcasted over social media with the intention of trying to impress others.
22. With that said, you will find yourself comparing yourself less to others and their lives, the ones they broadcast on social media and their real ones. You can stop comparing body types, clothes, hair type, etc. You will find yourself celebrating others, and most importantly, focusing on yourself.
The best part about self-love is the act of celebration – the celebration of yourself, as well as the celebration of others. However, instead of constantly focusing on what others are thinking, or the way you may be judged or seen, you begin focusing and worrying about YOU, YOURSELF, AND NO ONE ELSE. Placing more of an effort to focus on yourself and your own happiness is very important, and a vital step in achieving self-love. You will never truly end up loving yourself if you find yourself constantly living for others, or living in fear of others.
Sometimes, it is hard to escape the negative critique, as our society DOES NOT teach the act of self-love, rather they capitalize on things, such as envy, judgement, hatred, negativity, and criticism. It is a rare occasion when our society engages in a genuine celebration of someone else’s success, and much more popular for our society to focus on tearing others down.
Shallow aspects, such as what you wear, one’s beauty, one’s body type, one’s ability to fit in, one’s wealth and status, one’s ethnicity, one’s friend group, one’s success, one’s social media presence and their social media image, one’s interests, hobbies and morals, among other things, of one’s existence are heavily judged, as society places an enormous emphasis on shallow aspects, such as those listed above, as they serve as a sort of criteria as to how an individual can live an “idealistic,” “cool,” and “successful” life. It just another way that society creates a barrier from allowing the world to come together and just love. Instead of just accepting and embracing difference, society highlights the differences within people, in order to create a division, a societal hierarchy, and set up superficial standards and images that an individual must meet in order to be accepted into society. In other words, instead of promoting individuality, our society is promoting conformity and capitalizing on the idea that if one does not meet certain shallow, irrelevant criteria that they will not immediately be accepted into society, let along be treated kindly.
Leave the self-hate on Satan’s plate.
What is something about yourself that you absolutely love? Let me know!
With the holidays coming around, this season should serve as a daily reminder to pay it forward, though you should always try to pay it forward.
According to Merriam Webster, the phrase “pay it forward” is defined as, to “respond to a person’s kindness to oneself by being kind to someone else” (Webster). The concept of to pay it forward was first introduced, or memorialized, by Benjamin Franklin, in a letter he wrote Benjamin Webb in 1784, where he displayed confidence and support in Webb, by lending Webb money for his business, as a result of his previous good character and manners he had displayed towards Franklin. In this case, Franklin places his trust in the hands of someone who had previously shown him good deeds, lending him money, as a way to pay it forward.
While this is just one example of the concept of paying it forward, there are many ways to pay it forward this season, or just in general, without it involving money.
The action of paying it forward, or expressing love towards others, should come from the heart. This act should make you feel good! And, while people may not always be kind in every situation, showing any form of kindness or compassion, including saying “thank you,” holding the door for someone else, passing along a compliment, smiling, or showing gratitude are small ways to pay it forward.
Regardless of how you are feeling about life, making others feel good should always be a priority in your life. Making others around you miserable by choice is just not a sustainable life.
I have seen great acts involving paying it forward. Recently, a teenager walked into my place of work with someone, who appeared to be her grandmother. The teenager requested that the elderly woman order whatever she pleases, and let me be real, our menu is not the cheapest. So, the elderly woman proceeds to place an order for a gyro meat plate, and I ask, just as I ask every other customer, if she would like to add three falafel balls for an extra $1.50, and the woman hesitates. The young teenager speaks over the elderly woman, stating confidently, “yes, why not? Let’s just add three falafel.” So, I continue to make the order, and while I am checking the two ladies out at the cash register, I ask if either of them would like a drink. The teenager exclaims, “let’s make it a large mint tea lemonade,” and our fresh mint tea is also the most expensive item on the menu. I proceed, regardless. The final price comes to be about $20, including tax, and the teenager quickly hands me cash. I ask if she wants any taziki or tahini sauce with her plate, and the teenager looks at the woman, and she nods, so I grab her some extra sauces and put it in a bag, with her white pita bread. I thought nothing of this, until the old woman forgets her drink. I immediately react, grabbing the drink and sprinting out the door. I see them outside the store, sharing a conversation. I quickly interrupt, I apologize for interrupting their conversation, and I hand the elderly woman her drink. During their exchange, I hear the young teenager say, “Now, enjoy your meal and have a wonderful, wonderful day!”
I am in shock and so humbled by this random act of kindness, as the elderly woman so gratefully exclaims, “Thank you so much, dear! You are a wonderful person.” I am so humbled and feel every warm emotion go through my body, as I had just witnessed such a beautiful, selfless act of kindness. As the teenager, who so kindly and graciously helped this elderly woman, begins to walk away, I have nothing to say, but, “wow, you are truly a wonderful human being. Thank you for your kindness! Keep being amazing!”
I was left speechless, as acts like these are so rare these days, or often overlooked, or underappreciated. I even felt good after witnessing such a monumentally selfless act of love and kindness. After witnessing that, I personally realized that I should be kinder towards people, and express and act upon the act of love and kindness that exists in this world. It is true, ladies and gentlemen, love and happiness is contagious.
The feeling you get after being kind, just out of the purest intentions, is something that cannot be explained. I try to practice random acts of kindness every day, as some acts of kindness, we are even blind to. The world is much kinder to you than you perceive sometimes, just look at it with a positive perspective. Showing your love and appreciation back to the world is a great way to feel good and make others feel good.
These acts of kindness do not always need to involve money, while I do find that tipping my favorite servers, hosts, and fellow customer-service/food industry folk a little extra is one of my favorite ways to practice kindness.
Money does not always have to be the case. Surprising someone with coffee or a small treat is always nice, but a simple, “how are you?” or “I appreciate you” text counts, as well. Paying it forward is just expressing gratitude and kindness to those around you, strangers or not, and somehow, subtly or not subtly, letting them feel good or reminding them that they are awesome. Even your presence is sometimes the only Christmas gift, or act of kindness, someone needs. Big or small, paying it forward is important!
Since this is the season of giving, why not practice your giving skills in full-force? You are kind of being forced to anyways! Try to be a little more kind towards the people around you, once again, strangers or not. Surprise someone with a compliment, or give someone a dollar. Do you craft or have any artistic abilities? Give someone a drawing or art project that you did. Love candy? Carry around some candy and hand it out to some strangers or your friends. Next time you walk by a stranger, try to smile and wave. Do you have any extra clothes or canned food around? Try to donate them to a charity, food drive, or clothes drive. Have any extra free-time? Try to volunteer your services this season. Do you have great coworkers you love? Write them a note about how much you love and appreciate them, or maybe bring in some cookies to work. Have a phone? Text your loved ones that you love them and appreciate them, and if you don’t have a phone, try emailing them that. Have a mouth? Say “thank you” to someone who does something kind for you, or just use some manners. Maybe, you could even hold the door for someone else. Do you have ears? Maybe listen to someone problems, and invest your time in trying to offer others your advice and wisdom.
Paying it forward is simple and something that you should get in the habit of year-round. There are so many ways that one could pay it forward this season, so try hard to challenge yourself to make others around you feel good and happy. Sometimes, your act of kindness could be the highlight of someone’s day and you would have no idea. Imagine catching someone off-guard by doing something so great, even if it is a small act, and that becoming the highlight of someone’s day. It is amazing.
Kindness and love are such important values to hold by your side. Watching love and kindness happen right in front of your eyes is an even more incredible view, and something that cannot be explained so simply. The purest and rarest memories you will ever have is when you are doing something kind, as a result of someone else having shown love and kindness. The concept of paying it forward emphasizes the endless cycle of kindness and love, as people often act out of kindness, as a generosity of having encountered kindness.
Christmas means you practice the act of giving, so try to get into the spirit and make it a lifelong habit to partake in. Kindness trumps all, including hate, and this world needs more love and kindness.
♡ Be the kindness you wish to see in the world, and show the people some love ♡ We all need it ♡
Do you ever really truly grow up? You may be wondering what I mean, like, OF COURSE, we grow up as we grow older. What I mean is, do you think you ever actually grow out of your childhood?
Still confused? I mean that I truly believe that parts of your childhood and your childlike behaviors and habits stay with you your entire life. I do not believe that anyone truly loses some of their childness, even at morbid ages.
As I am transitioning into my 20s, I have found that relating to my childhood and engaging in activities I used to enjoy, or do frequently, have become a central interest, or a current hobby. After having what I deemed a quarter-life crisis for about 3 years, I felt a little bit lost and unsure what the concept of “growing up” was, which may sound stupid. I was dealing with the insecurities of not knowing how a grown up acted, did, or behaved. All I knew was that I needed to get a job, start paying for things, become more independent, and party less, emphasis on partying less. I am not going to lie, to me, the idea of growing up slightly irritated me, because it meant that I had less time to do the things that I wanted. But, at the time, I am fairly sure I did not even have enough ideas to fill up my time.
While working full-time and being a full-time student left me to a limited amount of “free time,” even then I wanted to uncover the insecurities behind my quarter-life crisis. The ultimate insecurity behind my quarter-life crisis, which is not quite solved, was not knowing enough about myself to be passionate about, AKA a lack of hobbies. Working and education are great outlets to find your likes and dislikes, but your time cannot be consumed with this, as it will end up being detrimental to your sense of self. While finding the hobbies I truly enjoyed took me years, and I am still figuring it all out, I found that relating to my childhood and what I enjoyed during my childhood to help uncover my hobbies. Instead of killing time with mindless hours of work and school in order to ignore my self-doubt, I began finding out most of my current hobbies were hobbies I kept up as a youth.
Even your interests as a child, or childhood activities you engaged in, play a substantial role in shaping our own current interests. Growing up, I was quite athletic (if I do say so myself), engaging in gymnastics, soccer, karate, aikedo, swim team, tennis, cross country, and yoga. Similarly, my parents emphasized extra curriculars, such as piano, which developed my own passion for the art of music. They also promoted art, which has played a substantial role in my love and envolvement with art-like hobbies, such as crafting, journaling, reading, free-writing and coloring. Finally, growing up with a tech-savvy father, I became very invested in social media and technology, applying his coding techniques to PIMP out my Myspace. When I say PIMPED out, I mean my background for my Myspace was a collage of all my favorite pictures of me and my friends, which took hours of coding. YES, I did play hookey in order to dedicate hours of my life perfecting my social media. My love for fashion came from the technology of YouTube, where I would watch YouTubers do what they called “clothing hauls.” I followed various YouTubers, and while for most of my life fashion was not relevant, I slowly began enjoying the expressionism that fashion allowed. With all these past interests and involvement in these things, I developed hobbies, such as coloring, blogging, photography, and of course, it shaped the reason why I chose my major.
Regardless of hobbies, childhood behaviors and personality traits do stick with you wherever you go, even to your grave. In general I am a pretty outgoing person, but since I was a kid, in a group of new people, I am very quiet and reserved. This is something that I still struggle with. Even as a child, I would use my awkwardness as a sense of humor to try not to be so awkward. This tactic fortunately stuck with my entire life. Similarly, though I do not try to admit it, I AM A NERD AND PERFECTIONIST. Since childhood, I have found myself trying SO hard when it comes to everything in my life, especially when it comes to academics. This has been one of the traits that I still struggle with, as I seem unmotivated sometimes from the anxiety of not being perfect. To everyone’s surprise, my notes are all color-coated, and YES, it does irritate me when I make a mistake when I am writing my notes. Since I was younger, I would rip out the pages of notes, even if it meant that I had to rewrite the notes on the other side of the paper, and begin writing the notes again. This is one of my forcib habits that truly prove not to be time efficient, especially not that I am attending college. Even now though, I find myself scrunching my face whether I make a color-coding mistake, or if I have to cross something out. These things do stick with you, whether you realize it or not.
Enough about me, though.
I truly believe getting in touch with your childhood, and your hobbies, will help develop a handful of ideas for hobbies to help you with your journey of self-discovery. Try to utilize your childness (in this case, childhood behavioral traits, childhood personality traits, and childhood hobbies) to your advantage, as they will always be a part of you. Your childhood shapes the person you are, EVEN TO THE GRAVE, even if you are not asking for it to. Instead of fighting the child in you, channel it towards your present reality, because it may maninfest into something great for you. I would even challenge the idea that you completely change from the person you were as a child, and believe the correct theory is that you develop and evolve from your childlikeness.
Needless to say, relating to my childhood, helped me develop my current pasttimes that were definitely shaped by my childhood interests, and assisted me in realizing that my childlike behavioral and personality traits are something that can still be utilized. In fact, not only am I more satisfied with how I spend my time, I am much more happier about the person that I am and find myself relating the present to my childhood. You can truly uncover a multitude of realizations just from STAYING TRUE TO THE TRUE CHILD IN YOU.
For starters, I still try to enforce nap-time and snack-time in my life, so not much has changed since my birth. Similarly, I do not currently drive and am usually chauffered by either friends, my parents, and strangers from Lyft and Uber, which is equivalent to being driven around by your best friend’s parents who are completely strangers to you. My point is that I never drove as a child and to this day I find myself in the backseat being chauffered around, so truly not much has changed. Last point, as a child, I always wore my hair in half-up buns, half-up ponytails, french braids, fun buns (two buns), pony tails, or buns – THIS STILL IS RELEVANT. I made this discovery recently while my friend was going through my childhood pictures and pointed this out, as I usually wear my hair in one of those styles even to this day. Unconsciously or conconsiously your past does follow you, or maybe it is just the child in you.
Ain’t nobody gunna tell you that you cannot do the monkey bars, or swing on that swing.
Today, I’m thankful for Simple Life’s “I’m Just A Kid” for constantly reminding me that I, Aichan Tewahade, am just a kid (replace “Aichan Tewahade” with your own name, obviously…or don’t).
In this very moment, though it is something that I am working on, I have learned that living in doubt and internalizing other people’s opinions is one of the most detrimental things we can do to ourselves. In fact, it is toxic.
The opinions that others forumlate about other individuals are based on their own unique experiences with that person, or simply it is based on our own insecurities, or even our differences in morals and standards. Speaking about others negatively comes, as a result of pure insecurities and self-doubt. To a certain extent, speaking about others can come from a place of concern, and it does come from good intentions. However, we have all been put on this Earth to formulate our own opinions of people, and it should not solely be based on what others have heard or said. I truly believe that our formulations of others should be based on our own personal experiences with that person. Individuals, such as myself, struggle with the insecurities of seeking self-acceptance from other individuals, especially strangers.
The game “telephone,” an activity that I practiced while attending Montessori school allowed me to realize that while rumors are inevitable, you truly should not invest time letting others perception distort your own personal happiness. If you are unfamiliar with this activity, it involves a group of people, and requires someone to pass on either a phrase, word, or rumor onto the person adjacent to you. You continue this until the second-to-last person passes the message onto the last individual, who is sitting next to the individual, who initiated the message. By the time you have passed on the message onto the third person, the original message has already become distorted. As you can imagine, by the last person, the initial message has become so distorted that there is no semblence to the original message. The message is essentially skewed and completely different from the intial statement, phrase, or word that the original message was. The “telephone game” serves as a constant reminder that the less you listen and invest time towards internalizing the opinions of others, the happier you will be. From personal experience, I truly struggle with this often, though I put on a strong front, but it is nothing you should be ashamed of.
Listen and believe in yourself, which is easier said than done. I can also attest to this. Do not let self-doubt cloud your mind, and while there will be tough days, know that the thoughts of others does not define the person you are.
Continue to believe in yourself. Self-doubt will always be a relevant factor, but know your self-worth, and these words do not define yourself. Trust me, this is one of my biggest struggles and insecurities that I struggle with daily, and it is not a n easy task, but try to keep your head up and do what you love.
A way that I cope with these insecurities is contuining to live my life to my best abilities, contuining to complete my obligations, and learning to be kind on myself. My hardest challenge is realizing that I may be embarrased or make people uncomfortable, but it is important to stear clear of these underlying insecurities. Our circumstances, our upbringings, our experiences, and our behsviots all shape the way that we are able to cope with rumors, or perhaps bullying, or harrassment. Do not let these factors, people, strangers, or any for that matter, stop you from living your life. My best coping mechanism is challenging myself to my best of my ability, and while I personally am dealing with my own challenges related to the article, I continue to put my best effort into investing time enjoying my life, rather than focusing on the judgements that others make about others.
Of course, sometimes I slip up and make impulsive, unhealthy decisions, know that engaging in these activities is not something that should be used as a crutch. You are stronger, wiser, and more powerful than you seem I am guilty as charged for recently coping with habits that I know are not beneficial, and it has even been a challenge for me to take the less road traveled on. It is a process, and we are all human.